"Que!? He said that!?" Becks screamed. Nearly destroying my eardrum.

"Ssshh. I don't want my dad to hear." I whispered to her as I began to wipe my soar eyes. I cried for like 10 minutes straight. I hate that I let it bother me as much as it did. I can't believe I cried over a guy for 10 minutes. what a wuss.

"Wow. I can't believe he said that. What a piece of caca." She said quieter.

"I can't believe I cried over it. But to hear the first guy I really liked, the first guy I actually kissed say he regretted it right after it happened. Basically saying he has no feelings for me. I don't know. It just..." I trailed off. "He said he still wanted to be friends, but I don't think I can. At least not until I get rid of my feelings for him." I said. God, this is probably the girliest thing I have ever talked about ever. I cringe at myself.

Becks moves over to sit closer to me. And puts her arm around my shoulder. "Your allowed to be upset. There's nothing wrong with being upset. Cry your eyes out, scream to the top of your lungs, punch someone if you have to. But never be ashamed of being upset. It's apart of life and human nature. You can't help your feelings." She said.

"You know what the worst part about it is. He kissed me back. He kissed ME back. I was so happy that he did, even if I didn't know what I was doing, I knew that in that moment he felt something for me. Was I naive to think that? I know people can kiss people with out feelings attached but I didn't think he would do that with me. And then he said he regretted it, and it just....."

I couldn't find the right word. It was at the tip of my tongue but it refused to form.

"People can kiss with no feelings attached, especially those boys, but I genuinely thought that he had feelings for you. From the way he treated you, it seemed like he did." She said just as confused as I was. Her eye brows began to furrow, she seemed like she was thinking about something.

"It's my fault I shouldnt have kissed him. I should've just stayed his friend. And now I don't even think I can do that." I said.

"Look, just forget about him. Boys are nothing but distractions anyway. We don't need them." She said kissing my cheek. I couldn't help but giggle.

"Speaking of boys. Now that your caught up on my wretched night. What happened with you and Mike?" I said hoping we can talk about something other than Tate right now.

Her shoulder slumped at the mention of his name, and she fell flat on the bed and I follow behind her. We were now staring at the ceiling in silence.

"That bad." I said.

"He wants me to be his girl." She said. I wasn't surprised. Any fool could see that Mike had it bad for Becks.

"But?" I said

"I don't know. I just....I don't know." Was all she could said. "For so long the only thing I felt for any of the Mancini boys were betrayal and discomfort. And now with them back in my life those feelings from the pass mixed with news ones are making things much more complicated. It's like im confused little Robbie all over again." She said and my heart aches for her.

"Do you have feelings for him?" I asked.

She nodded. "Are you scared to love him?" She hesitated for a moment. And nodded again. "I'm scared to be abounded by him again. I was abandoned by my parents and my friends in one of the most important and dark times of my life, when I needed them the most. And I get that we were just kids, it doesn't make it any less painful." She said.

"Just cause you were kids doesn't mean he didn't know any better. They knew what they were doing when they decided not to be your friend anymore. Especially, Mike. You guys were together, in a relationship, he knew enough to know what he was doing. If he was old enough to understand his sexuality and what he felt for you he definitely knew what it meant when he hurt you. However, just like how you grew and became a different person, so did he. Clearly he's still a little rough around the edges, but he's changed for the better. And one thing that didn't change is that he loves you." I said. She shut her eyes trying to find her next words.

"The person he fell in love with is Robbie, not Rebecca. And I'm not Robbie anymore, nor do I want to be. I feel like he still tryna find Robbie in me and it's just not there." She said struggling through tears.

"It's clear that you love him. And that there are some unresolved feelings when it come to all of you. I think you need to sit down with all of them and you guys just need to talk it out. And you and Mike need to have a one on one where you bear your soul to him. Tell him you want to start over. To get to know Rebecca. And if he can't do that. Then get your closure and finally close that chapter of your life."

She turned her head to me and finally opened her eyes. She was staring at me and I at her. This was the first time me and her really saw each other. There were no facades or walls between us. I could see her soul, and she could see mine. And we were both so beautifully damaged.

She moved and laid her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around me. I placed one hand in her hair and the other caressed her arm. Our legs were tangled together.

"Boys suck." I said. She began to laugh. And nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. They suck ass. Especially, the Mancini boys." She said.

"Especially, the Mancini boys." I said through laughter.

"I just wish it would just all stop..."she trailed off.

"Hurting?" I said. She nodded and squeezed me tight. "Yeah, hurting."

And we fell asleep in each other arms.