《Drawing The Line》chapter 36
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If Quinn were to list her favorite things about life, being married to Rachel would be at the top of it. Months have come and gone in a blur since the wedding, and she couldn't be happier. They've kept their promises from all of their vows, and it seemed as though things could not be anymore perfect for her.
On one particular beautiful day, in which they both happened to be free, they decide to take a walk through Central Park together.
"I think I need to work out more," Quinn remarks when what's maybe the hundredth jogger passes by them.
Rachel rolls her eyes, "Three times a week is more exercise than most Americans get. And besides, your body still looks amazing," she nudges her wife.
The blonde shrugs. She's still has her cheerleading era body, so she can't argue.
"Oh look, here it is!" Rachel beams as they come to a stop in front of a tree. This specific tree was very special to them, as it was the spot that they had their little wedding ceremony.
Quinn wraps an arm around Rachel's lower back and pulls her in close as she revels in the wonderful memories of that day. "It doesn't seem that long ago," she says.
"No, it doesn't," Rachel says as she rests her head on her shoulder. "I love you, baby."
The blonde responds by leaning her head down for a chaste kiss. She then pulls out of Rachel's embrace and says, "We should probably head back if we want to be home by dark."
"I'll get us a cab," Rachel says. "Is it okay if we just stay here for a little while?" she asks hopefully.
"Of course, my love." Quinn moves to sit down with her back resting against the base of the tree. Her wife is quick to join her by her side.
Rachel locks their hands together as they just sit, listen, and watch all of the people that were passing by, none of which were paying them any mind.
A lot of people were taking a late afternoon jog, as Quinn had already noted. Others were walking their dogs. Some were pushing strollers. Other parents were walking and laughing with their kids or doing other activities with them like teaching them to ride a bike or feeding the nearby ducks.
"Quinn?"
"Hmm?"
She's been mentally planning this conversation for a while now. But that doesn't make her any less nervous. "I've been thinking..."
Quinn turns to her with a frown. "About what?"
She takes a deep breath, "I think we're ready to start a family."
If this conversation wasn't so serious and important to Rachel, she would be laughing at how wide Quinn's eyes are at the moment.
The blonde manages to barely keep her voice leveled as she asks, "Now?"
Rachel nods, "Yes, Quinn. Now."
"I'm not sure about this. I mean, I'm still in school."
"You're in your last year of school. If we were to be expecting say...within the next couple of months, you would still be able to graduate before the baby comes."
"You have your show."
"It's a secondary role. The production is only six months, so I wouldn't be showing until it was over. And even if I was before then, that's why I have an understudy. And before you mention my vocal lessons, I was already planning on stopping those as soon as the show starts."
"Our place isn't big enough for one more person."
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"We can always move. We're only there because it's the most affordable place close too NYU. There's plenty of other areas where we can have even more room without paying nearly as much. I wouldn't mind living across the bridge," she smiles.
"Rachel, this is a lot to think about."
"And I have been thinking about it, Quinn. For the longest time now. I'm going to be thirty-four soon, and I'm not getting any younger."
"I know that, baby. But - "
Rachel feels like she's on the verge of tears. She quickly gathers herself and says, "All you're doing is listing reasons why we shouldn't do this. If you think we need more time, I understand. But is this not something you want anymore?" Her heart breaks at the thought. "Because if that's the case, you can tell me, Quinn."
"What? No! If course I want this, Rach." The blonde wants to kick herself right now. "I really do. And I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm making excuses, but I'm just trying to be reasonable about this. I don't want us to jump into anything."
Rachel wipes her eyes. "Why is it that you're always the level headed one?" she smiles.
Quinn laughs, "Someone has to be." She leaves a kiss on her wife's cheek to help calm her down.
"Are you worried about money? Because we're doing great with that right now."
The blonde couldn't protest to that. They were doing better now and could actually put money aside for savings. And finding a place in another area would definitely help.
"I'm not," she answers.
Rachel softly runs her fingertips up and down Quinn's arm. "If you're not ready, then that's okay. I know you're young and you want to live first. I just wanted to put it out there. And I'm sorry I can get so emotional."
Quinn thinks about Rachel's words. It's true that she's still in the prime of her youth. And of course most people her age would want to get a chance to do so many different things and "find" themselves.
But Quinn didn't feel the need to do that. She's already found herself. Or at least found where she's meant to be, and that's with Rachel.
Some may write her off as ignorant and naive for settling down so young. Especially in today's world. But she knows in her heart that this is what she's going to want more than anything else. To have a baby created out of love between her and Rachel.
Excitement fills her as she imagines play dates, zoo visits, ballet recitals, piano lessons, Sunday morning breakfast, and so many other things that the list goes on endlessly.
"Quinn?" Rachel frowns.
"I'm ready."
"What?"
Quinn turns to her, "I want everything with you. And I know we can't have it all right now, but at least we can start? I want to start a family too."
Rachel bites her bottom lip to contain her excitement. "Really?"
"Yes." She leans over and seals it with a kiss. She then stands and pulls Rachel with her and starts quickly walking out of the park. "Let's go get started!"
Quinn stares at the clock on her work computer. It was five minutes until noon, which meant that she could leave soon.
When her internship was coming to an end, she was so well-liked that she was offered to stay with a part time position. She accepted it without a second thought. She only had to work half a day every Monday through Friday and also took evening classes at NYU.
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The time in between was spent either with Rachel, studying, or writing. Sometimes all of the above in the same day. She had been working on a couple of writing projects for the past several months and was itching to get at least one of them finished.
She stops tapping her pen against the desk when she sees that the clock says 11:58. Just a couple more minutes.
Her phone goes off and she smiles when she sees a message from her wife.
Rachel: Are you coming home right after work?
Quinn: Yes. Why?
Rachel: Just making sure. I need you here as soon as possible.
Quinn frowns at the urgent nature of the message. She's about to ask what's going on when one of her bosses appears at her cubicle.
"Hey Quinn," the man greets.
"Oh, hi Tom," she says as she starts packing all of her stuff together. "Did you need something?"
"Yes, I actually wanted to ask you something."
She turns around in her chair to face him. "What's up?"
"Well, you seem to be in a hurry. So I'll cut right to the chase. I can't say names, but a couple of the higher ups have been really impressed with your work lately. And there's some chatter going around that they want you to work for us full time as an assistant editor once you receive your bachelor's."
She pauses and stares at him, making sure that he's completely serious. "Really?"
"Yes. I can't say I'm really surprised," he smiles. "I'll try to see what other details I can find out. But we'll talk about it again on Monday. So just enjoy your weekend for now, Quinn."
She nods absently as she processes what she's just been told. Rachel is going to be so excited for her.
Rachel!
She jumps up from her chair and slings her briefcase over her shoulder.
"Thanks Tom. I appreciate it. I really do. I'll see you on Monday!"
And with that, she rushes through the front entrance and out the doors to get home.
As soon as she makes it back to the apartment, Quinn bursts through the door and calls out, "Rachel?"
"Quinn?" Her wife appears in the doorway of the bedroom.
"Hey." Quinn sets her bag down on the floor and crosses the living room to reach her. "You said you needed me here right away. What's going on?"
Rachel quickly gets to work with unbuttoning the blonde's shirt. "I'm ovulating."
Quinn breathes out a sigh of relief. "You scared me. I thought it was an emergency." Rachel had stopped taking her birth control that day at the park, which was a few weeks ago now. And of course she would come up with a specific schedule as to when the baby-making would commence.
Huffing, Rachel takes a step back. "This is very important, Quinn! This is without a doubt the best time for us to increase our chances at getting pregnant. Not only that, but - mmph!"
Quinn is able to effectively shut her up by taking hold of her face and pressing their lips together. Anything else that Rachel has to say dies in her throat.
Without breaking the kiss, they manage to navigate through their bedroom until they fall down together on the bed. Quinn pushes her wife onto her back and lays on top of her.
She finally breaks away from her lips and gasps out, "You were saying?"
Rachel rolls her eyes and lifts her hips to slide her shorts and underwear off her legs. "Shut up and let's do this."
Quinn takes her unbuttoned shirt off and tosses it to the floor. She unzips her pants and pushes them down to her ankles, not bothering to pull them completely off as all she needs is to free her member.
She settles between Rachel's legs and starts stroking her cock to make sure she's hard and ready. She looks down at her wife and says, "Sorry this isn't romantic, baby."
Rachel herself is busy rubbing tight circles over her clit. "It's okay," she pants. "We'll be romantic later. Do you have class tonight?"
"Just one. But I can skip it."
"Normally..." Rachel gasps as she becomes increasingly wetter. "I would reprimand you. But I'll let you off the hook just this once."
"So we have all day and night to keep doing this?"
"Yes."
Quinn nods and rapidly continues to jerk herself. "You look so sexy when you touch yourself like that."
Rachel stops and lets out a soft laugh. "At least make sure you're inside of me when you finish. Otherwise this won't work."
The blonde shifts and lines herself up with her entrance. "Good idea." She leans down for a kiss, pushing her cock inside as she does so.
Rachel's moan is muffled against her mouth as she begins thrusting her hips at a steady pace. She pulls back and rests her forehead against Rachel's collarbone, squeezing her eyes shut.
"That feels so good," Rachel breathes out. She angles her hips to feel Quinn drive even deeper into her.
The blonde pushes up onto her hands and looks down between their bodies. The sight of her shaft glistening from Rachel's arousal as she goes in and out of her was something that would always drive them both wild.
She uses one hand to push Rachel's t-shirt up, exposing her breasts to the cold air of the room.
"Baby," Quinn whimpers. "I'm getting close."
"Don't stop."
As the blonde fucks her relentlessly, Rachel reaches down and starts playing with her clit again, bringing herself even closer to her climax. She knows that her wife loses it when she watches her touch herself, so she uses her other hand to massage and tweak her own nipples.
And sure enough, Quinn is pounding into her even faster now. "Oh god, Rachel..."
"That's it, baby. Fuck, Quinn!"
As soon as Rachel cums with a long moan, her walls clamp down deliciously on Quinn's cock. And being quick to follow, the blonde's hips are jerking wildly and she's releasing herself into her wife.
Rachel makes sure not to move right away so that Quinn can release her seed as deep as she can inside her.
When she's finished, Quinn rolls off and onto her back, pulling Rachel into her side as their breathing evens out.
"You're amazing, you know that?"
Rachel smiles and sits up to pull her t-shirt off all the way. She stares down at Quinn and lightly traces her fingers up and down her torso. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you," she whispers.
She moves her hand up to touch Quinn's necklace. The same one that she's always had since they've been together.
The blonde joins their hands together and rests them over her chest.
Over her heart.
"I can't believe we're doing this. It's incredible."
Rachel nods as she continues to stare down at the girl she loves so much. "It really is."
She just hopes that everything goes according to plan.
One afternoon, Rachel comes home after being out all morning and feels a comfort and security that she's been needing when she sees her wife already there waiting for her and sitting on the couch.
"Hey you," she smiles as she takes a seat next to her.
"Hey." Quinn closes her laptop and sets it aside.
"What are you doing?"
"I was Skyping with Santana earlier. Now I'm just replying to some emails and editing my manuscript."
"Again? Quinn, you must've read through it a million times already. I'm sure it's beyond perfect by now."
Quinn shrugs, "There's always room for improvement." She pulls her feet up on the couch and rests her head on Rachel's lap. "Anything interesting happen today?"
Rachel sighs, not wanting to upset Quinn just yet. "I'm having dinner with Kurt later."
"Oh yeah?"
She nods. "I want to tell him that we're planning for a family. But I think I'll wait until I'm actually expecting."
Quinn smiles up at her, "And just how are you going to explain that?" Of course Kurt and a lot of their other friends were in the dark about Quinn's condition. So they would need a logical explanation for a pregnancy. Quinn was thinking that a sperm donor would be acceptable.
But of course Rachel had more elaborate ideas.
"I have the perfect story! We have your eggs implanted in my uterus. And we use a sperm donor with similar traits to me so that the baby can have characteristics from both of us."
"Why couldn't you just use the eggs that you already have in your own uterus?"
"Because...it being your egg makes it your baby, which gives you a connection to it. And the fact that I'm carrying it in my body gives me a connection to it. It's perfect, really."
"If you say so," Quinn chuckles. "Make sure you write that story down so I can have it memorized for when people ask."
Rachel shakes her head with a smile.
"I'm just kidding," the blonde says.
"I know." Rachel sighs, "Quinn?"
"Rachel?"
"I went to see my doctor today."
"Your doctor?"
She nods, "I went in to take some tests."
Quinn sits up and looks at her with concern. "What kind of tests?"
"It's just," she pauses. "It's been a while now that we've been trying to get pregnant. And nothing is happening. So it's really worrying me. I just want to make sure that," she says the last part softly, "that I actually can have a baby."
"Rachel," Quinn soothes. "I'm sure there's nothing wrong with you."
"I just have to be sure." Rachel fights back tears. This has been one of her biggest fears as of late. She just didn't realize it because she's never attempted to have a baby until now.
"It's only been like four months. I think a lot of couples go through this. It's nothing out of the normal. We just have to keep trying."
"I know. But if there is something wrong, I'd rather know now." She wipes her watering eyes. "They're supposed to call me as soon as the results are in."
"Okay, well maybe..." Quinn is hesitant. "I can get some tests done too. Like a sperm count and all of that."
"You don't have to do that," Rachel says quickly. She knows how hard it is for Quinn to even talk about that part of her anatomy to people that she doesn't know or trust.
"If it would help your worries go away, then of course I will. I need to know too."
Rachel nods. "We'll just wait until I get my results back first."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." Rachel gets up from the couch and says, "I'm really tired. I think I'm going to lie down."
Quinn frowns as she watches her wife walk away. When she hears their bedroom door shut, she sighs to herself and runs a hand through her hair. The thought of them possibly not being able to conceive had never occurred to her until now.
And it was fucking terrifying.
She gets up to go to Rachel because she needs her right now. And she feels a pang in her chest when she opens the door to see her facing away with her shoulders shaking from silent sobs.
She crawls in bed behind her and wraps an arm securely around her waist. "Shh, it's okay."
"Quinn." Rachel cries even harder and clutches at her arm. "I'm sorry. I know I'm just being ridiculous."
"You're not."
"I'm just really scared."
"I know," Quinn sighs as she holds her tighter. "I am too, baby. I am too."
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