As soon as Deputy Standall had left the bunker yesterday morning, Monty began pacing back and forth. The thoughts wouldn't stop coming. Thoughts of regret, thoughts of anger, and thoughts of hurt.

But there was one particular thought that kept entering his mind.

Why don't I just leave? He continued thinking to himself.

It's not like anyone would see him. He was completely alone in the woods and he assumed Deputy Standall wouldn't be back for another few hours. There was no lock on the opening of the bunker. There was no one stopping him.

Monty stopped pacing and walked over to the bed. He looked under it, like he was expecting to find some of his belongings there, but stood up when he realized he had nothing. He felt as though he'd never had anything in his entire life. And in that moment, Monty had never felt more alone.

He sat down on the bed and buried his face in his hands. It was a comforting position for him. The sleeves of the oversized sweatshirt covered half of his hands, so when he put them up to his face, he got a whiff of Peter's cheap body spray. He quickly removed his hands from his face and buried them into the pockets of the sweatpants.

Monty sat there for a few minutes, silently crying. He'd gotten used to crying without making any noise, because in his house, if he were caught crying, his dad would've beaten him senseless.

"Crying is for little girls!" His dad would say.

"Dad! Stop, you're drunk!" Monty would plead.

"Get out of my way, you disgrace!" His dad would then begin to hit him, over and over again.

"Monty?" His dad's voice sounded different. Softer, kinder.

"Please stop!" Monty begged, but the voice continued to call his name.

"Monty!"

Monty yelped when he felt someone grip his shoulder. He looked up and saw Deputy Standall standing right in front of him.

"Monty, are you alright? I got in here and you were sobbing. When I said your name, you started yelling." Deputy Standall said, moving to sit down on the bed.

Getting so caught up in that terrible flashback made Monty unable to hear the sound of the bunker opening or Deputy Standall's loud footsteps.

"I, uh, yeah, I'm fine." Monty stammered out, wiping his eyes roughly. Deputy Standall didn't look convinced.

"Are you sure? It's okay to not be fine, you know. It's okay to cry." Deputy Standall told him.

Monty looked up at him. Deputy Standall's eyes were filled with such caring and understanding and worry. Monty had only seen it in one other person's eyes before. Winston's.

Just thinking of his name made Monty break down. He began to sob once again, but instead of no one being there to comfort him, he felt arms wrap around him. The arms pulled him into a hug and just held him. It felt so foreign to Monty. He had never been taken care of, never had an adult care for him like this.

"It's okay, it's all going to be okay." Deputy Standall continued to repeat those same words until Monty calmed down. Monty pulled away and moved to sit back on the bed. Deputy Standall stayed where he was.

"You said the words 'please stop'. What were you thinking about?" Deputy Standall asked him.

Monty shook his head, "I don't want to talk about it."

Deputy Standall nodded and decided to try and change the subject, "The word's gotten out around town. Everyone believes you're dead."

"Maybe it should stay that way." Monty said quietly and Deputy Standall looked over at him with a confused glance.

"What does that mean?" He asked.

Monty continued wiping his eyes, "Nothing. It means nothing, just forget I said anything."

"Monty-" Deputy Standall began, but Monty cut him off.

"It's nothing, okay?" Monty told him. He looked so worn out and so hurt that Deputy Standall decided to let it be for now.

"Okay, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Deputy Standall said. Monty looked over at him and nodded.

After a brief period of silence, Monty spoke up, "I thought about leaving."

Deputy Standall looked at him in surprise, but without judgement he asked, "Why didn't you?"

"I don't know..." Monty said. But he did know. He didn't leave because he knew if he did, he'd never see Winston again.

———————————————————————————