After a few hours have passed, me falling into a restless sleep, and Ash dosing off in his chair; Kate decides to make an appearance. She rushes into the room and immediately lunges at me, startling me awake.

"Kate" I choke out, as its hard to speak with all of her body weight on me, strangling me practically to death.

"Noah" she exclaims so happy. "How are you?"

"You're ...too ...tight" I struggle to reply.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, my poor baby. Here. This Better?" She asks, releasing me from her hold. I nod and she kisses my forehead. "I've been so worried, you really scared us."

"I'm sorry" Deciding to go straight into, better to just get everything into the open then beat around the bush.

"It's not your fault, whoever did this is going to be punished I assure you."

"No, I'm sorry for everything. For how I treated you, for being a jerk to you when you were only being my friend. I'm so sorry that I took my pain out on you. I just felt like I couldn't trust anyone. Even though I know it's not true. I'm so sorry, can you forgive me please?"

"Honey, I was never mad at you, frustrated yes, but I don't blame you. After everything you've been through I don't know how I would have acted if my leap of faith went up in flames like it did for you. But can I ask you to do one thing for me. Only one thing."

"Of course."

"Promise me you'll never push me away ever again. Cause I love you"

"I love you too, you're the sister I never had"

"And you're mine"

"Hey, I'm not a girl"

"Well you're acting like a girl with Damian"

"I thought you didn't like him to begin with?"

"I don't. But he's been here everyday, just waiting for you to wake up. He was about to miss his game yesterday if we hadn't forced him to go and play. He told me everything, why he did what he did. What he really feels and honestly I believe him. I hate it, but I believe him. I'm not expecting you to forgive him, but just hear him out with an open mind. Maybe he might just surprise you."

"Well if he has always been here, why isn't he here now?"

"He's collecting all the work you've missed. So he's on his way really soon. Trust me. I just wanted to get to you first so I could tell you that. Hear him out."

I stare at her, she seems so sincere. If only he was that sincere. But for her I will listen to him. Besides he is one of the last people I saw, maybe he can tell my what happened.

"Okay, I'll hear him out"

This is it. I'm going to see him. Just behind these doors, he's awake. But what if he refuses to see me what if he hates me? Urgh, Damian now is not the time to be doubting yourself. Just go in there and talk to him. How hard can that be?

I knock on the door and i hear Kate's voice usher me in. I peer around the door to be met with a pair of familiar eyes. My favourite concoction of green and hazel. They just stare at me as if they can see through me and in that moment i know that they can. I take a brave step into the room and let those eyes bore into me. If i ever want a chance at forgiveness i need to be open to him and that means opening myself up to him always. No matter how scary or confusing that may be. he just stares at me and i can see his eyes cloud over with unformed questions. there's something bothering him, but I can't tell exactly what it is. I feel a sudden urge to brush aways all of his troubles, to tell him that whatever it is will be okay. That he will get better, but it's not my place to do so. I notice Ash sprawled across a chair by Noah's bedside, his leather jacket at the end of Noah's bed and his hand resting close to Noah's. I can't help but wonder if it is his. If in my absence Noah had moved on to him. Had he found someone else?

i am about to retract, this was wrong. He doesn't want me, he doesn't need me. I'm the thing troubling him, I'm the thing hurting him, I'm the thing preventing him from getting better. I am about to leave, but I'm stopped in my tracks by a velvety voice i've longed to hear for so long. The voice I would do anything for, a voice that has helped me in ways no one else has ever had. "Hey Silver, how are you?" i hear the nickname i love and I can't help but smile. Yes, there is this element of awkwardness that wasn't here before. This element of strangeness, that has enveloped us. But there is an opening for us. He is speaking to me civilly, maybe this time he'll hear me out and we'll get back on the right track.

"we'll just get out of your hair" says Kate, dragging a half delirious, from sleep deprivation, Ash with her. We both just watch the ludicrous scene play out, as Ash flaps his long arms listlessly side to side, still not conscious enough to act properly. It is then that it dawns on me: we're alone. Noah can't run from me, he's strapped to hospital bed, and we're alone. "Hey Noah, how are you?" i say mimicking his polite tone.

"Better, although my head still pounds." He says with a slight shrug of the shoulders. I then notice the changes in him, his already slender frame is thinner than usual. A week of not being conscious enough to eat has caused him to loose the slight muscle definition he had before. His eyes have sunken in, and his cheek bones stick out more prominent then ever. His skin is pale, a ghastly pale. But what strikes me the most is how tired he is. Everything about him screams exhaustion from the bags around his eyes, to way the holds himself up at the moment. I feel sick all of a sudden, I'm here thinking about me, thinking of how I can use his hopistalisation to my benefit, where only days ago he was fighting for his life.

"Well at least you're getting better" I uselessly say. I can feel the tension rise between us, there are thousand things I'd like to say. I just don't know where to start, what's appropriate to say as he lays in a hospital bed. I go to say what most likely is another feeble attempt at small talk, but Noah beats me to it.

"Can i tell you a story? I know we have a lot to talk about, but I'd like to tell you a story." He says quietly. He's talking to me, yet his eyes wonder to the window. He looks out at the window and i can see his eyes gloss over. His mind is elsewhere, but at least he's talking to me.

"Sure, tell me whatever story you'd like" I reply, unsure of what else to say.

"Take a seat" he commands gently, so i follow his orders, sitting in the seat Ash had just vacated. " My mother used to tell me this story a long time ago. Any time I got scared. She would say that I had to remember this whenever I felt i couldn't do something or that I felt I couldn't control soemthing. So i have, or at least i used to. The story went like this. There was a boy, he was the youngest of nine siblings, due to this he was the smallest in built of his nine siblings. Always looking fragile and too small. He never fit in with his nine siblings. They found it fun to tease him and pick on him, but he never retaliated. He just took it, they thought that he was too weak to fight back, so they teased him about it, yet he never said a word back to them. One day though, he saw a girl who lived down the street being hurt by a group of older kids. He went at them, he defended her and helped her. He scared them away and threatened that if they ever came again he would go at them ten times harder then he had just now. They were scared so they just ran away promising to never torment her again. The girl looked at him with awe and thanked him, but he could tell that something was troubling her still so he questioned her about it. She responded with 'i see how your siblings treat you, why don't you ever defend yourself if you can. They surely would leave you alone if you did?' He looked at her and offered a small smile and replied 'just because I can doesn't mean I should, just because I don't doesn't mean I can't. I'd like to believe we can do anything if we have the right motivation. I don't fight back because I don't want to not because I can't , if i were to fight in self defence, that would be succumbing to what they want rather than what I want. I don't like inflicting pain, so I chose not to. I only did it today, because I didn't like seeing you in pain. I acted because I wanted too, not because some else forced me too and I plan to only ever do something because I want too.'"

i stare at him confused as to where this came from. Scared at how close to home these words hit. Ive spent the last five years acting because of someone else, not for myself. unsure of what to say I don't speak. I let the tense silence prevail, finally Noah turns to me. He locks his eyes with mine before he continues "After I woke up this morning, all i could of was that i am suffering because of someone else. Because of them I am here, I don't know who they are, I don't know why this happened. All I know is that I'm in pain, and I haven't been me because of it. I'm living a life dictated by some else. I'm going to hear you out, not because I promised Kate I would, but because I'm tired of feeling this pain that you inflicted upon. I'm tired of inflicting more pain on myself as punishment for ever letting you in. I'm just tired of all of it. I may not think of my mother with fond memories, but I will always be grateful to her for this teaching. She taught me to be selfish in the sense that I act only for myself not for others. I haven't done that recently; but I'd like to start again. So go on, tell me your excuses and I'll decide if they are worthy or not."

I just stare blankly at him, again unsure of what to say. He hasn't spoken coldly towards me just frankly, he is giving me one opportunity to explain that I can't screw up. But what is the right thing to say to him? I can see him growing impatient as he waits for me to speak, he's tired and he wants me to relieve him of some of the pain he carries, so I will. I will say what is needed to be said, so he has one less thing to worry about. I will say what he needs to hear, whether its what i want or not.

I open my mouth and I just let the words spill out. " You know about my dad, you know about my love for basketball, you get the general gist of my current skrewed up family life. But that's irrelevant, I hurt you that day, not because of any of that, but in the hopes it would hurt me. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I didn't think I deserved you and my basketball or this happy fairytale ending you were promising me. So I made a choice to cause my own self destruction, I said complete bullshit to Chad because subconsciously I wanted you to hear it. I subconsciously wanted you to leave me, because I thought i didn't deserve you. Truth is I don't, I'm just a coward. I've been a coward, hiding behind fake pretences so that I don't have to ever relay the truth that I'm not strong, that I'm not brave, that I can't stand up to bullies and say the truth about me and be proud. I hurt you to hurt myself and that wasn't fair. Not on you, Noah, you are an incredible guy and you deserve to be happy. You and I both know though, that this, us, we're just not in the right place to happen. I'm fucked up and you don't deserve to be dragged into that. I would like for us to happen, sure, I like being with you, yes. But I need to get in the right place before that can happen and so do you. So. I guess, I'm asking that this time we just try to be friends. Maybe once I've grown up and started tackling what is going on in my life i'd be in the right head space to give us a proper go, if you still want me by then. But for now I'd be happy if you'd just let me be your friend and support you as a friend would, through this. I am sorry for what I said, and I hope you know that I never meant a word of it. I really do like you, Noah Hunt."

I hold my breath as I await his answer. He just looks at me. " Friends" he says as if trying out the word and seeing whether he likes it. I nod in response. "Friends it is then". He says and I can't help but smile, there is hope after all for us, even if it means taking baby steps. Finally, a comfortable silence falls upon us.

"I've never been very good with friends" he says, as an almost afterthought.