《》Chapter 10: Of Course

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Damian cornered me as soon as I walked into school this morning and it went something like this:

"Noah, I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?" I ask suspicious.

"About everything that happened at the party- the party and you had to see the fight and-"

"Why? Do you think I can't handle it? I'm too cute? I need you to protect me ? Be my big, fat hero ? Is that it? That you weren't there- to save me -from this cruel world?" I spit out bitterly.

"Noah, okay I'm sorry about what I said Saturday. I didn't mean to belittle you, not at all" he says pleadingly.

"Sure, you didn't. Why else would you call me cute? I'm your little, helpless nerd you're taking pity on. Well guess what- I don't want your pity!" I roar at him.

"Good, because I don't pity you. Far from it- you seem strong to me. That's not why I called you cute-"

"Why then? Cause what? You're secretly gay? Yeah I didn't think so!" I laugh at my own lame joke. I'm fed up of this- I don't want him feeling sorry for me.

"You don't know that," he says quietly.

"Know what?" I retort.

"That I'm not gay." He says simply.

"Uh, yeah I do- you're the biggest ladies man this schools got to offer!" I laugh bitterly, what is he gonna play: the bicurious card with me? Make me feel special that I'm revealing some new feeling in him? Yeah, I'm not that desperate to fall for that- let alone am gay and want him.

"No, I'm not. Not really," he continues to speak quietly as If he was a small child after being reprimanded.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I ask feeling the irritation build within me.

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"That in order to be a ladies man- you have to be with ladies or at least a lady.." He says, looking at the ground, not meeting my eye.

"So, what you're saying is you don't do girls- you do boys?" I ask utterly confused.

"I don't do either, I haven't done either" he says so sheepishly it had to be true.

"You're a virgin?" I ask in utter bewilderment. He just nods. Shuffling his feet. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I don't know- it just feels right." He says and finally looks up at me. He starts searching my eyes for an answer. But I'm not sure of what answer.

"I'm not gay!" I say exasperated.

"I know you aren't. I just want you to know that those rumours you hear about me aren't true. I don't deny them- because I don't care what people think of me. No, that's not true, I care a lot of what people think about me- so I keep up appearances; I just don't care if people know the real me. But I want you to- I want you to know me, the real me and I want to know the real you." He momentarily pauses collecting his thoughts, so I don't interrupt and just let him continue:"I've never been interested in anyone till I met you- I'm not talking sexually- I'm meaning emotionally. But I don't know what that means: that I want you as just a friend, or more. All I know is I need to know you. So please let me have a chance: just one. It'll be fun- I promise. Just you and I and we can do what you want. Just hang out. But just give me a chance to be your friend. Please!" He begs. I'm dumbfounded by all that he has just said. So I just look at him, he resembles a sad puppy: big pity eyes and floppy hair and ears. It's adorable, so I just nod with a half smile.

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"One chance and your paying" I say pointedly. His face looks relieved and then he laughs.

"Of course!"

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