Tuesday. 10.09

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marble floor twiddling the plastic stick in my fingers. I should be in class right now on the bathroom floor waiting for pregnancy test results. As much as I wanted to keep denying it, the more I started noticing the bloating. And, I know I wasn't getting fat with everything I've been eating. The throwing up and constantly peeing was starting to become more and more obvious. People were starting to look at me different.

Sighing to myself I finally flipped over the test and looked at it. . It read it all capital letters. The word seemed to be the only thing I could see around me. A part of me was scared — scared for the sake of my baby at least. My mom is a drug addict, my father is in prison and the closest thing I have to a mother has higher expectations of me, let alone her son is the father. She's given me a roof over my head and this is what happensI have no clue how to be a mother.

Tears ran down my face as I heard somebody coming into the bathroom. I quickly stood to my feet, wiping the tears away and opened up the stall bathroom. The pregnancy test ended up falling out of my hand. I looked down at it and then back up at nobody else but, . We stared at each other for what felt like forever. The water works came again as I bent down to pick up the test and shoved it into my purse, leaving the bathroom.

Thankfully I had drove myself to school today so, Isaiah wouldn't see me like this. I stormed out of the school building and walked to my car. Quickly getting inside, I placed the key into the ignition and pulled off. I drove a couple of blocks away and parked into a random side of the street. There I balled my eyes out. I'm about to be a mother. There's a life growing inside of me. I'm going to be responsible for someone other than myself.

After the crying session I had it was straight back to the house. Of course, I cleaned up to make sure I didn't look like I had been crying. But, there's something I'd least expected to see when I pulled up. Isaiah leaned on his truck talking to another female, there was a small baby in his hands and from what I could see it looked like him. I shrugged it off though, I didn't want to assume something. Stepping out of the car I held my bag in my hand and walked over to the pair.

"Hey, Isaiah." I said with a small smile.

He returned the smile and it wiped off quick. Right when he started to open his mouth the other female began to speak. "Who this bitch, IsaiahAnd why she calling you by yo' first name This why you been leaving our son abandoned for some trash ass bitch"

Every single word she said hit me. And it hit me hard. I haven't even been pregnant for long and my emotions are already fucked up. But, she still wasn't about to come out her mouth like that towards me.

"BitchExcuse me, baby. But, if you don't know my damn name then don't say shit. I don't remember even speaking to you. Therefore, why are you even saying shit to me, love? Secondly, his mother named him Isaiah and that's what the fuck I'ma call him." I spat back.

"Yo, yo. Y'all chill out." Isaiah finally spoke. "Domonique this is Marie, my baby mother. And Marie this is Domonique, my baby."

Marie shook her head in disgust. "What's the point of you having a girlYou just gon' fuck her life up anyways. Come back to where you belong — with your family and not some random."

She was asking to get fucked up. "Isaiah, please control your dog. And, we need to talk so can you hurry it up"

"Hold on. I'm spending some time wit' my son, it ain't that important I'm sure. Go ahead and do something, I'll be in the house soon." He said without even making eye contact with me.

The fact he didn't even respond to what she said made me feel like shit. Out of everything in the world, he'd rather just blow me off like that I didn't say what I wanted to say, I just proceeded to walk inside the house. Walking upstairs I stopped at Ariana's room.

"AriYou in there" I knocked on her door softly.

"Come in, pooh" She replied.

I pushed open the door and closed it behind me, dropping my bag onto her white carpet. "I'm pregnant."

More water works came falling out of nowhere and she embraced me into her arms. We stood there for a while before I finally pulled away.

"Are you going to tell Isaiah"

I sniffed. "That's what I was trying to do but he's busy."

"Well... I don't think you should tell him anyways, mama thinks he should get back with Marie for the sake of the baby."

"What"

She nodded. "Yeah, I don't know if he's going to actually go through it though. See, she doesn't want the baby growing up without a stable mother and father. It'd be wrong for the baby to see a different woman other than his mama at this point."

"I don't know what to sayI think I'm just going to go lay down."

I grabbed my bag from the floor and walked out of her room, making my way to mine. I pushed open the door, throwing my bag to the ground and closing the door behind myself. Normally, I'd cry myself to sleep but I decided on doing something different. I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Lifting the long sleeve shirt up that I was wearing, I turned to the side and just stared at my stomach. Although, there was barely anything there it still was something, I just looked bloated. Keeping this a secret from Isaiah was going to be hard but, I knew I could do it. All I would have to do is wear baggy clothes to hide the stomach. I have this all planned out.

My thoughts came cut short once I heard the door opening, I quickly pulled my shirt back down and wiped away the stray tears. Isaiah's lanky frame stood in the middle of the room, looking into the bathroom.

"Yes" I asked, turning the bathroom light off and walking back into the room.

"What did you want to talk about I'm sorry for blowing you off, it's just a lot going on."

I shrugged. "It was nothing."

"You sure"

"Yup, I promise." I smiled. "I think I'ma go ahead and take a nap."

He nodded. "Aight. I'ma take one wit' you."

Shit. I nodded and started removing the jeans that I had been wearing. Thankfully, it looks like I'm bloated. I reminded myself as I stripped out of my shirt, walking towards my dresser pulling out an oversized shirt. He removed his shirt and got into the bed. I did the same, snuggling up beside him. This was going to be a long nine months.

i don't be knowing what to name these chapters anymore. lol