Lelani and I haven't spoken a single word to each other since we climbed into my car, silence continuing to consume us as my Range Rover cruises down the slick, shadow-covered roads of the island. My eyes unwillingly cast several glances her way, unable to keep myself from inspecting her puffy, red eyelids and the despondent expression painted across her face. Knots twist in my stomach because the sight of her hurt is painful to watch. I wish I could read her mind- I wish I could hear her thoughts and decipher the right words to say to make things better.

Her eyes meet mine for a moment, her gaze instantaneously compelling me to talk. My stare goes back to the road ahead of me, my thumbs mindlessly drumming against the steering wheel as I think of what to say.

Ultimately, I decide on, "I'm so sorry, Lani."

Reaching over the center console, I rest my hand against the smooth skin of her thigh, just needing to touch her because I've missed the feeling of her so much. Her stare falls onto the point of contact between us, and for a second I think to pull away, but her fingers trail against the back of my hand, urging it to stay.

Finally, she hushes back, "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"Yes, I do," I nod, biting against my bottom lip hard to try and stifle my rising guilt. I felt wrong about the bet before, but now, I only feel worse because now I understand what happened to her in the past that only makes my actions sting that much more.

Raindrops start to beat harder against the windshield, in an instant falling so relentlessly that I can barely manage to see the lane ahead of me. The tires begin to catch against the road, causing the vehicle to swerve slightly as we start to hydroplane. Lani gasps beside me, bracing herself as she clutches onto the dashboard ahead of her.

"Shit," I bite out, pulling my hand away from her leg, returning it to the wheel, and steadying its shaky rhythms. I try to keep a calm composure as I press my foot carefully down onto the brake, slowing and aligning the car again. We come to a full stop, but my heart is beating so hard inside of my chest that I can feel my pulse ringing inside of my ears.

My instincts kick in and my head darts over to Lelani, my fingers gently gripping onto her thigh again as I quickly check, "You okay, baby?"

The word tumbles from my lips before I have a chance to stop it, and both of our breaths hitch, air caught in our throats as the tension swelling in the car grows. The name came out so naturally, but for some reason, I'm feeling out of place for speaking it given our current circumstances. I'm not so sure that after what I've done, I've earned the privilege of saying it. Her cheeks turn a shade of pink and I watch as she licks her lips and takes a gulp, unable to peel her eyes off of me.

"I'm okay," she finally manages to whisper, and I let the sound of her voice soak in as I contemplate what to do or say next because at this moment my nerves are so high I can't think straight.

I inspect our surroundings outside of the car, squinting hard to try and see past the curtain of rain. Cruising forward slowly, I steer us onto the grass lining the black asphalt of the street, parking us onto it because I know that right now, it's too risky to keep driving.

"We'll wait out the rain, here," I suggest.

"S-sounds good," she quietly replies, dropping her eyes onto her lap.

There are a million things I want to say to her right now- a million things I want to explain and let her know- but the jumbled thoughts rushing through my head won't let me speak.

"B-Brodie," I hear her voice mumble, drawing my attention over to her dark, alluring eyes.

Behind her soft gaze, I can see that she has so much that she wants to say too, but just like me, she doesn't know how to get it all out. Wanting to assure her that I'm here to listen, and desperately needing her to say something, I urge, "What is it? Talk to me."

"I-I don't know if I can," she says with a shaky voice, and her eyes start to water again.

"Hey, hey," I hush out, unbuckling so that I can lean over the console to her. My palms tenderly brush against her jaw, coaxing her to look at me. "You can, alright? Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking about how much I wish I didn't want you. I'm thinking about the way I feel when you're looking at me- the way you are right now- because your stare makes me feel like I'm floating. And I don't know if it's a good or bad thing to feel like that, but I like it and I hate that I like it. I'm thinking about the way I can be myself when I'm around you, but I hate that too because I'm afraid to trust you."

I wince because the words sting, muttering back, "I don't want to make you afraid of trusting me. I never, in a million years, meant to make you feel that way."

"I know you didn't," she replies softly, cutting her gaze out of the window as she tries to hide the tear beginning to trail down her face. "But what I'm thinking about the most is that I'm afraid you'll never look at me the same again. I'm afraid that you're going to start seeing me as all those other men see me- how my parents really see me."

"W-what do you mean, 'see you like them'?"

"Naive. Weak."

"Stop," I beg, shaking my head in disagreement as my thumbs brush against her wet cheeks. "No one sees you like that, Lani."

"Yes, they do. They all do," she argues, brushing her palms firmly against her face in an effort to stop the rest of her tears from falling. "I'm naive and weak and I trust people way too easily and I end up hurting myself and the people around me."

"You're being so hard on yourself," I frown, knowing exactly how she feels at this moment because I've been here before, and I've battled with these same thoughts. "None of what happened was your fault. You were manipulated and taken advantage of by a grown adult, and the blame for what happened falls in his hands, not yours."

"But it's my fault, too."

"No, it's not," my voice clips.

"I took those pictures for him, Brodie. I sent them."

"He should have never asked you to send them in the first place, Lani!" My voice comes out more pointed than I intend it to, but thinking about what Jason did to her makes my blood boil and I can't stand the thought of her thinking that she's to blame. "He was a predator. Don't you understand that? It's not your fault."

She starts to sniffle, and my arms pull her body into mine, holding onto her as I urge again, "It's not your fault."

Her body starts to shake underneath me, and a deep cry leaves her throat, the sound of it immediately making my chest ache. Her head nuzzles into me, and I continue to comfort her, brushing back the black curls stuck to her face with my fingers and tucking them behind her ear. Lelani never deserved what happened to her, she never deserved to be exploited in the way that she was, and she needs to know that she's not to blame for his actions.

I listen as her sobs reduce to sniffles, her heavy breaths finally calming. The sudden quiet lingering between the two of us is making my head pound because as scared as I am to share it, I want to tell her my truth. I want to tell her about what happened to me so that she can understand that she's not alone in any of this.

"Lelani," my voice quivers, conjuring her to look up to me. "I- umm- When I w-was," Her eyes are pinned on me now, and my hands are starting to become clammy. Fear begins to swim in my blood, and my stomach starts to twist into knots.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," I pant, pulling away from her as I try to hold onto the slither of reality left in my mind because anxiety is eating away at me.

I can feel her watching me, but I can't seem to move until her touch brushes against me and brings my muscles back to life. Leaning herself over, now she's the one consoling me, brushing her fingers across the shaved hair on the back of my head.

"I'm listening," she assures. "It's your turn to talk to me."

"I was 16," I finally manage to get out.

Her eyes grow sad, and her lips turn down as soon as the words leave my lips because I think she can already anticipate what I'm about to say next. "B-Brodie, you don't have to talk about this if you don't want to-"

"No," I interrupt, nodding my head fervently. "I want you to know, I do."

She stays silent, nodding her head in acceptance as her hand clutches onto mine. My fingers grasp onto her soft skin, using her touch as an anchor as I allow the truth to tumble from my mouth.

"I was 16 and she was 23, and she made me feel special. She made me feel seen for the first time in my life, and that in itself was enough to convince myself at the time that what she was doing with me was okay. She exploited my inexperience and vulnerability and she stole something from me that I will never get back."

"Oh, Brodie," Lani chokes out, covering her mouth with her hand as I slowly unveil my past.

Knowing that I won't get the rest of what I want to say out if I stay quiet another second, I continue, "For a long, long time I struggled with what happened to me. I struggled to believe that I wasn't equally guilty for what she did and that I could have done more to prevent what happened to me."

"That's not true," she whispers beside me.

"I-I know that now," I assure her, finally getting enough strength to look her in the eyes again. "You need to know that, too. What happened to the both of us, wasn't either one of our faults, do you understand?"

She nods, comprehending the reason why I decided to tell her my experience.

"We were kids. We were kids and they were adults, and they knew better. You can't keep blaming yourself, baby. You can't. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to know that it isn't your fault and you have to know that you're not alone in this, okay?"

Lelani's short body clambers over to me, climbing on top of my lap as she swings her arms around me and embraces me tenderly. I hold her too, feeling the weight of what happened to both of us slither away as our bodies grow closer.

"Thank you, Brodie," she hushes up to me as one final, single tear falls down her cheek.

My hands cup her face and I look down on her sincerely, promising, "I'm here for you, Lani. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I'm so sorry that I made you feel like you can't trust me, but I swear that my feelings for you are genuine. You don't have to forgive me, and I understand if you feel like you can't be with me after everything that happened, but you at least have to know that I honestly care for you so much. I could never-"

Her hand covers my mouth, cutting off my words and forcing me to silence. Slowly she pulls her palm away, soaking me in with her beautiful eyes as my gaze takes all of her in, too.

I'm screaming on the inside, internally begging her to believe what I'm saying because she's too goddamn special to ever feel like she's not worth more than some stupid fucking bet. I don't want her to hurt the way that she did with Jason, and I can't bear the thought of her thinking that my intentions were anything close to his.

Lani inches her mouth to mine, making me long to taste her. As if she can hear my deepest thoughts, she whispers against my lips, "You're not like him, Brodie. You aren't even close to being like him."

I let out the breath that I was holding in my lungs, feeling so relieved to hear her say that. Placing my hand onto the nape of her neck, my hand pushes her mouth to mine. Our lips move slow together, growing deeper every second that they're touching and relieving the craving I've felt since the last time we kissed.

Heavy pants escape the back of her throat as she pulls her head back to look at me again.

"Baby," she smiles as her fingers trace my eyebrows. "I liked the sound of that."

"Yeah?" I grin, loving to have the feeling of her body beneath my fingertips again. "It's pretty fitting, isn't it?"

"Mhmm," she hums.

The rain outside disappears, and finally, my eyes can make out the scenery surrounding the car. The road ahead of us stretches far, lined with lush, thickets of green bushes and palm trees. A mountain stretches wide just behind it, covered in a blanket of leaves and other greenery. The clouds above it begin to clear, spacing out in the sky and giving sight to the burst of blue hiding behind them.

"Come on," I say, slinging open the door and ushering us both outside.

I take Lani's hand in mine and we walk further down the barren road, deciding to enjoy the breathtaking landscape with no other people or vehicles present. Sunshine starts to trickle from out behind the clouds, warming the earth and making us halt in our steps as it makes a rainbow appear, projecting itself from the sky and down the mountain ridge.

"Looks like this is our rainbow after the storm," I joke, tugging Lani in front of me and encasing my arms around her shoulders as we admire the view in front of us. She lets her head fall back against my chest, relaxing into my hold.

"I suppose it is," she grins back.

Our eyes lock with one another, and once more my mouth is moving before I have time to think my next words through. "Lelani."

"Hmm?"

Drawing my mouth to her ear, I whisper, "Aloha au iā 'oe."

Her eyes widen, and she twists her body against mine to face me. "W-what did you just say?"

"It was about time I made an effort to learn some Hawaiian words on my own, don't you think?" I smirk.

"Say it again," she smiles, lacing her fingers together against the back of my head.

"Aloha au iā 'oe," I repeat, but this time I don't execute the pronunciation of the words as well as I did the first time.

"We'll work on it, Michigan boy," she giggles, raising on the tips of her toes and placing a quick, sweet kiss against my lips.

"So I guess that means we're gonna try this again?" I quip, unable to hide my lovesick smile as I twirl one of her curls between my fingers.

"We're gonna try this again," she smiles. "Because Brodie-"

She stops midsentence, and I nod for her to continue, eager to hear what more she has to say. "What?"

"I love you, too."

My heart swells in my chest as the phrase leaves her mouth because it's so goddamn sweet to hear.

"It sounds so good when you say it," I smirk, nudging her forehead with mine.

Lelani turns in my arms again, and I sink into the comfort of holding her as both of our eyes go back to the road, palm trees, mountains, and rainbow ahead of us. My thoughts replay the three-worded phrase that left her mouth only seconds ago, needing to hear it again and again. I place a kiss against her head and all I can think at this moment is how goddamn happy I am to have met her- to be able to call this fiery, beautiful girl mine.

I love you, Lelani Kahale. You love me. How much longer can we keep this a secret from everyone else?

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