"Lela, you're going to have to give me more than that," Alana sighs dramatically, impatiently tapping her foot as she waits for me to spill more of the details surrounding Brodie's and my first date. "What did your parents say when you got home that night?"

"How about we take this conversation to the kitchen, huh?" I reprimand her with a whisper, tugging her with me as I weave us through the tables in Mama's restaurant.

"Oh, right," she giggles, taking amusement out of my bashfulness. "Wouldn't want all these customers hearing about how the man you're secretly dating finger fucked you on the beach."

"Alana," I scold her through gritted teeth, trying my best not to laugh at the ridiculous but very accurate statement. I yank her with me forcefully, wishing that my legs could move a little faster than they are right now. We finally break past the barrier separating the dining area and the kitchen, and I release a heavy breath, grateful to finally have some privacy during this unfiltered discussion. "I'm going to kick your ass! What part of secret do you not understand? If the wrong person would have just heard what you said, there's no telling how quickly it could get to my parents. Word travels fast on this island."

"Yeah, yeah," she waves me off, "Now, give me the damn deets!"

My eyes scan my surroundings, checking to make sure that no one else is around to hear me. I'm relieved to see that the cooks at the grills and food-prep stations are too consumed in their work to even notice Alana and me. I turn back to my best friend, making sure to keep my voice quiet. "You know exactly what they said," I sigh, tirelessly. "Mama gave me the same old lecture that she always does about how I need to think about mine and my kids' future and Dad just apologized for bringing up the Jason incident and stalked back to his bedroom."

"Sounds about right," she scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Just try not to take what they're saying so personally, Lela. They're just upset that they didn't have the balls to chase after their dreams like you are. Don't let them pass their own limiting beliefs onto you."

"I know," I whisper back, wishing that my parents could support my dreams in the way that I so badly want them to. They love me to death, there's no denying that, but I think that's what hurts the most; knowing that the two people whose opinion you value the most, have doubts about your ability to accomplish your goals. "Sometimes it just feels like I'm a disappointment to them, you know? Like I'm not the daughter they wanted me to be; the one who goes to college and graduates- the one who doesn't mess around with men she knows better than to mess with and nearly cost her Dad his job."

"Oh, Lela," Alana hums sympathetically, pulling me into her arms, "You are a strong ass bitch, you got that? You've made a few mistakes, but guess what? You're human and I promise you that you're going to make a lot more; that's the circle of fucking life. Quit being so hard on yourself. Now, say it with me: I am a strong ass bitch."

A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. Alana always seemed to know how to instantly make things better. "I am a strong ass bitch," I repeat confidently.

"Good," she chimes out with satisfaction. "Now that we've cleared all that up, back to the important subject at hand: Brodie."

"Brodie," I repeat, hating the way I could already feel myself blushing. "What more would you like to know, Alana? We fooled around some on the beach and he took me jet skiing. That about sums it up."

"Well, is he packing or what?"

"Oh my god," I blurt out, shoving her away before carrying myself towards the food waiting to be taken from the hot window.

I transfer the steamy plates of Hawaiin cuisine onto a serving tray, trying to keep my eyes on the food instead of the curly-headed girl cocking her hip beside me. "Oh, come on," she whines, "I'm just curious. Is the man packing or not?"

"You know? You're starting to come on a little bit objective, Alana," I giggle, slinging the tray up to my shoulder.

"Well," she begins, her voice trailing behind me as I start to carry the food out towards the customers "if men can do it, then so can I."

"Well, I'll just say this; he's not, not packing. Now, go greet those customers," I chuckle, nodding to the bodies streaming through the front door. Alana throws me a devious grin and a wink as she walks away. With a smile, I hand the customers their chosen menu items, making sure to ask before I leave, "Can I get you guys anything else?"

They appreciatively decline, and I begin to walk my way back towards the kitchen, only stopping when I hear my friend's voice call out from behind me, "Lela, you've got a visitor."

"A visitor?" I ask. My inky ponytail of curls swings behind me as I pivot on my heel, but as soon as I turn and see my friend's face, I know exactly who it is.

"Hammond," we both mouth out simultaneously as my eyes catch sight of the six-foot marine standing at the doorway of Malia's Cafe. His dark eyes lock into mine before I have a chance to pull my stare away, and an attractive smirk pulls across his lips. I muster up a weak smile, and I can feel my heart drop into my stomach because as much as I found myself enjoying his company the other night, I knew it didn't even come close to comparing to Brodie's. He begins advancing his way in my direction, making my pulse quicken as I internally struggle for what the hell I'm supposed to say to him.

Before I can come up with anything that even relatively makes any sense, he's only a few feet away from me, and his voice is deep as he speaks out, "Hey there, stranger.

"Hey," I mutter back, cutting my eyes behind him, where Alana observes our interaction from a distance. Guilt burns in my chest as I pull my gaze back to him, knowing that I've intentionally avoided texting him back over the weekend. "I've been meaning to message you," I grin fakely, coming up with an excuse, "It's just been a busy weekend."

"Yeah, I'd say," he mocks, and for some reason, his response makes me panic. Does he know about Brodie? "Probably busy recovering from the effects of all those shots you downed Friday night."

"Yeah," I chuckle nervously, "Right. About that night, I'm sorry that I had to slip out early, it's just-"

"Lelani, please," he cuts me off, reaching for a strand of hair hanging down the side of my face and trailing it behind my ear, "No need to apologize. We have plenty of opportunities to make up for it."

His cocky smirk appears on his face again and the sight makes me frustrated. Who was he to decide how many more opportunities we would have together? Just because he's attractive, doesn't mean that I'm just like all the other girls he's used to having pine for his attention.

You did kiss him, Lelani. Of course, he assumes there will be other opportunities.

With that thought, I take a deep breath, releasing any pent-up anger in me and trying my best to sympathize with the man standing in front of me. I used him. I went out with him, knowing good and well that I wasn't over Brodie, and I used our date as a distraction. Hammond was a distraction and I'm an asshole for not being honest with him, to begin with.

"Look, do you mind if we talk outside?" I ask softly, suddenly feeling all of the customer's eyes on the two of us.

"Absolutely," he smiles, and I can see a glimmer of hope and flirtatiousness behind his expression.

Hammond walks towards the door he came in, and I throw a desperate look at Alana as I follow after him, hating myself for even putting myself in this position. The sun is warm as it hits my skin, and I try to focus on the humid breeze of the wind instead of my anxious thoughts as I lead us both to the side of the restaurant. I plop down onto one of the curb stops of the isolated parking spaces lining the building, pulling my knees up to my chest. My fingers fiddle with the apron straps tied against my waist as I wait for Hammond to join me, and my heart is racing when he finally takes a seat right beside me. The camo material of his uniform brushes against my bare thighs as he scoots in closer and hushes out into my ear, "I haven't stopped thinking about that kiss."

Not knowing how else to handle the words he just spoke to me, I giggle nervously, racking my mind for what I should say in response. "You never kissed before or something?" I manage to joke, trying to ease into the rejection I'm about to serve him.

"Of course I have," he chimes out confidently, "but the feeling of your lips has been my favorite."

I dart my eyes away from him, my stomach twisting in knots at his notion. What the hell have I done? All at once, he leans towards me, lacing his fingers into the hair on the back of my head and drawing my mouth towards his. I suck my lips back, starting to inch away but he doesn't notice and his hand pulls me into him once more, abruptly connecting his lips with mine. His kiss is hungry, and my palms meet against his chest, pushing him away politely. Once more he collides his mouth against mine, and now my heart is beating erratically in my chest.

Am I not relaying the message clear enough right now? Doesn't he see that I don't want to be kissed?

His tongue slipping through the space between my lips is the last straw that I need before annoyance courses its way through my veins. "Hammond, stop," I order, shoving him off of me. His body juts back, and I quickly stand to my feet against the black asphalt, completely at a loss of words for what just happened.

"I don't understand," he mutters, his deep brown eyes sparkling underneath the sun as he squints up to me. He gathers himself off of the concrete slab we were sitting on, taking a step towards me carefully, "I'm getting mixed signals from you, Lelani. Do you like me or not?"

"Oh, well forgive me," I spit back, "I'm sorry that I don't appreciate you shoving your tongue down my throat after I was clearly pulling away."

"You kissed me the other night, remember? Maybe you should make your intentions clearer."

"Or maybe you should make sure you have someone's consent, dammit!"

"Whatever," he scoffs back, his ego becoming the best of him. "I don't understand why you're overreacting right now."

"Oh?" I scoff, pacing the pavement, "I'm overreacting? Fuck off, Hammond."

I start to stomp away, but his voice stops me in my tracks, "Lelani, I'm sorry. Please, just hear me out."

"What?" I bite back, just wanting to be back in my Mama's restaurant.

"What is this between us?" He mutters out. "Because the other night it seemed like you were genuinely happy to go out with me- hell, you even kissed me- but now, it just seems like you want nothing to do with me?"

Once again, guilt seeps its way back through my skin as I'm reminded that I used Hammond to numb my feelings towards Brodie. He didn't ask for that, and it was wrong of me to manipulate our date to work for my own benefit. "Look, Hammond," I begin to say, making sure to lock my eyes into his, "You seem like a really great guy. I really mean that, but I just- I can't be caught up in a relationship right now." This was only half true because what I meant to say was I can't be caught up in a relationship because I'm basically already in one. "There's just a lot going on right now, and my Dad- I just- It just won't work right now."

Hammond shifts on his feet for a moment, and I gauge his reaction, his eyes avoiding mine as he nods his head in acceptance. "Can I ask you one thing?" I bob my head, silently letting him know that he can. "If you end up changing that mind of yours, can you let me know?"

A weak smile pulls to his lips, and I can't help but force my stare away from it. "Yes," I whisper, lying. Hammond turns, advancing towards his truck on the other side of the restaurant and I can't help but think of one thing as I watch him walk away.

He's going to be fucking pissed if he finds out about Brodie.

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