Lelani and I haven't spoken a word to each other as we finally reach her car. The morning sun reflects off of its green, shiny exterior, nearly blinding both of us as we climb inside. I can feel the exhaustion from the hike and lack of sleep burning through every muscle of my body, as Lelani cranks the engine to life, drowning out our awkward silence with Sunny FM radio. I glance over to her, my mind immediately replaying our kiss and the feeling of her hands on me- the absence of those two things making my chest ache.

I don't understand what she wants. Lelani says one thing, but then goes and does the complete opposite. But being a man with some damn integrity and morals, and doing my best to respect what she's saying and not playing off of her actions, I'm trying to follow her words. I know things are complicated with her dad and her past, but that didn't change the desperation I felt when she was close enough to touch. From the moment I met her on the beach that day, all I've wanted is to get to know her, and the more I learn about Lelani's character- her boldness, passion, complexity, and confidence- the harder it is for me to grapple the idea of never being able to call her mine. Growing up, I remember the feeling of wanting a toy off the shelf so bad but knowing it could never be mine because I didn't have the money to afford it. Well, now here I am, sitting here, wanting so badly for this smart-mouth girl beside me to give in to her self-proclaimed boundaries and be more with me, but knowing that I'm not worth the risk she'd have to take for us to be that.

Lelani smacks the dial of the radio off, ridding our ears of pop music and finally turning her attention towards me. The dark curls of her hair are more voluminous than usual, tangled and wind-blown from our journey back down the mountain. She tucks the messy ringlets behind her ear before finally speaking out, "Brodie, I'm sorry for what I said back there. You're a great guy. Like seriously, you-"

"It's fine, really," I speak out quickly, cutting off her words. She didn't have to explain herself to me. She told me from the get-go what the circumstances and boundaries of our surf lessons would be and I let my feelings convince me that there was more between the two of us than there really was. "You don't owe me an explanation. I went too far."

Lelani scoffs, "You know it was my choice back there, right? I'm the one who kissed you. I took it too far."

"Yeah, but I'm the one who set up these lessons with you in the first place, Lani. You didn't ask for that, you just agreed to it."

"I agreed to them because I wanted to teach you, Brodie," she fires back, her cheeks becoming red with frustration. "I was hesitant about the idea of lessons at first because I didn't know what your intentions were, but I'm really thankful that I said yes because I've gotten to know you more because of it." Lelani gently reaches across the middle console, grabbing a hold of my hand. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy spending time with you because I really like being with you."

"So then be with me," I say, gripping back onto her hand, and locking my stare into her brown, tired eyes.

Lelani looks defeated, her eyes searching mine for some kind of answer. She lets out an exasperated breath before finally hushing out, "It isn't that simple."

I sigh, letting go of her hand and forcing my stare out of the passenger side window, completely discouraged by her answer. As much as I don't want to stop being around her, I can't convince her to be in a relationship she's not comfortable with. After a few more moments of thought, I turn back to her, finally admitting, "Look Lelani, as much as it fucking kills me to say this, I just-"

"What?" She asks with a hint of hopelessness behind her words, "You just what?"

"I just think it'd be the best thing for both of us if we just put an end to everything now," Lelani shakes her head fervently in disagreement, but I continue, " I want you to keep the money that I've already put down for the next two weeks of lessons because for everything you've taught me, you deserve every penny of it and more... but I don't want to make things more difficult for you by letting this continue."

"Come on, now you're just being ridiculous! We can still do our lessons, Brodie. We can still be friends."

My head immediately replays the word she just said, unsure if my brain was registering it right or not. "Friends?!" I finally argue back, laughing with annoyance. "You think that's what we are? Friends?"

"Yeah, I do," she defends herself unconvincingly, knowing good and well she doesn't really believe that. "What's wrong with that?"

"Friends don't look at each other the way that we do, Lani. Friends don't touch the way that we have," I can practically feel frustration coursing its way through my veins, and I throw my hands to my head in defeat, "I mean shit, friends don't kiss the way that we did back there!"

The car hums around us, and the two of us soak in the argument through the silence. "I'm just as confused as you are," Lelani finally says, her voice quiet, "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Nothing," I reply back calmly, my irritation replacing itself with a sense of acceptance. I lock eyes with her once more, "I don't want you to say anything. I just know that what's going on between the two of us is way more than friendship, and I can't just keep sitting back and pretending like it's not. I'm not doing this out of spite, I'm doing it out of respect for you and myself," Lelani bites against her lip, waiting for me to finish and my throat burns as I gulp back my fear and finally say it, "Our lessons are over."

I hate the words as I say them, already regretting my decision. Lelani's face becomes hard, bitterness taking over her expression as she grips tightly onto the steering wheel. "Fine," she bites out, slamming the gear shift into drive.

I fight hard to not say anything back, keeping my eyes out the window as the car starts rolling down the black asphalt. After a few minutes of quiet, I can tell my silence is only making her angrier as her foot presses harder against the gas pedal. Her phone grabs both of our attention as it rings to life inside of her backpack at my feet. A series of notification alerts come through as we pull onto a highway and regain signal. She reaches for her bag, but my feet quickly kick it away from her, not wanting to allow or add any more distractions to her reckless driving.

"At least, check it for me," She huffs out, rolling her eyes.

My fingers dart into the backpack, searching pocket by pocket for the phone. The screen is illuminated with at least 15 different notifications when I finally bring it to my face- messages from Momma, Dad, and Alana Banana coming in one by one. Lelani's eyes dart over for a quick second, widening with panic as she registers the series of missed calls and messages, "Oh fuck."

The phone buzzes in my hand, and I read the incoming call aloud to Lelani, "It's Alana," I say, flashing the screen up for her to see.

"Shit," she breathes out shakily, her hands suddenly trembling against the steering wheel. "Answer it. Put it on speaker."

Doing as I'm told, I accept the call and Alana's voice booms out in a frenzy as soon as I hit the speaker button, "Lelani Kahale! Where in the hell are you? We've been trying to get a hold of you for hours! We're all worried sick. Are you okay? What the hell is going on?"

"Deep breaths, Alana," Lelani urges, trying to calm her worried friend, "I'm fine. I just- I-" Her eyes cut over to mine, widening with hysteria before finally coming up with an excuse on her own, "After my lesson, I um- I fell asleep in my car and-"

"You are so full of shit, Lela," her friend's voice shouts back, cutting her off. "Your dad is looking for you, and I tried my best to cover and tell them you slept over at my house last night, but they don't believe me for a second. They're on their way over now, so I suggest you step on it and get your ass over here now!"

My face is nearly as red as Lani's, both of us understanding that she didn't have the time to drop me off at my car before heading to Alana's. And not being able to drop me off at my car beforehand means one thing... I have to face Alana and her parents with her.

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Alana's already waiting outside her front door, her body leaned against the frame as Lelani screeches her Jeep to a stop. We're both thankful to not see another set of tires in the driveway. We jump out of the car, Alana's eyes skimming the two of us over and laughing maniacally at our pitiful state, "Oooooh, now this is a plot twist I wasn't expecting to see!"

"Alana, I can explain," Lelani begins, but her friend cuts her off quickly.

"How long has this been going on, huh? Is this who you've been giving lessons to?"

I stand behind Lelani, smoothing out the messy brown locks at the top of my head and trying to not look as guilty as I feel right now, knowing now that Alana had no clue about the two of us hanging out. Finally, I speak up, having the urge to defend Lelani's case, "She didn't know it was going to be me."

"What?" Alana asks, squinting her eyes in my direction, "What does that even mean?"

"I tricked her into thinking that the lessons were for some kid named Maverick, and when she found out it was actually me, I convinced her to go through with them since I had already paid her." Heat gathers at my cheeks as I come to the realization of how pathetic my plan was all along. "I didn't have any cruel intentions. I just wanted to get to know her and spend more time with her."

Alana's face softens at my words, but my eyes don't stay on her for long before falling onto Lelani. Her cheeks wear the softest shade of pink as she tilts her head back to me and mouths a silent 'Thank you.'

She brings her focus back onto her friend, her voice full of remorse, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Alana. I know I should have, and I tried- I really did- but the thought of you being mad at me about it was eating me alive, and I-"

"Yeah, yeah," Alana smirks, rolling her eyes and already having forgiven her best friend. She orders us through the house with a commanding finger, "Now, get your asses inside before your dad gets here."

She leads us through the coastal decor living room, darting down the hallway and bringing the three of us into the security of her disorderly bedroom. Hundreds of shades and colors fall across every inch of the space, piles of clothes scattered across the rainbow textile rugs spreading across the hardwood floor. The sound of a car door slams outside, making our heads perk up in alarm.

"Shit," we all mutter at the same time.

Alana scrambles me into her closet, shoving me inside the accordion paneled doors, as Lelani quickly jumps into the covers strewn across Alana's mattress and pretends to fall asleep. I finally find rest against a Rubbermaid storage box, and I try my best to stay as quiet as possible as I let my eyes peek through the cracks in anticipation of the scene that's about to unfold. The doorbell rings, calling Alana's presence and I listen carefully as her footsteps make their way back down the hall.

"Where the hell is she?" I hear an agitated, masculine voice ask in the distance.

Alana mumbles back a response that isn't audible enough for me to hear, and it's not until the sound of stomping echoes down the hallway that I realize Sergeant Cambell is coming back into the room.

"Where the hell were you?" his voice commands Lelani, who's still pretending to be dreaming.

"Huh?" She mumbles back, putting on a damn near Grammy Award-winning performance as she rubs her eyes awake. "What's going on?"

"Lelani Kahale, we've tried reaching you all night with no answer. You had us worried damn near sick. So, 'll ask you one more time. Where in the hell were you?"

"Chill out," she groans back, sitting up against the headboard of the bed, "I stayed the night here."

"Then why is it that you couldn't answer your phone?" Alana steps through the doorway, and Lelani's dad motions towards her, "I had to call her just to make sure that you were okay."

"I'm sorry, Dad, okay? My phone died and I didn't care to charge it. I didn't think it'd be such a big deal."

"Well, it is a big deal, Lela! You may be graduated and 18 now, but you're still living under my roof and that means I still hold responsibility for you. So the next time you decide to completely disappear for the night, at least consider your mother and me, and give us a damn call telling us where you're at! I would think that's the first thing you'd remember to do after the incident two years ago."

"Okay, your points have been made!" She shouts back, and I can hear her voice start to break, "I got it!"

Lelani's dad stills for a moment, his eyes falling down onto the broken girl in front of him. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I just want you to be safe, okay? I'm just trying to take care of you. I'm trying to protect you."

And then I see it- tears begin to gather at her eyes, but she does her best to wipe them away quickly and maintain the tough girl stance she's accustomed to. "I can take care of myself."

As if there wasn't enough suspense and tension swarming in the tight space already, a storage box begins to slip underneath of me, completely stealing the one sense of comfort I was able to find in this cramped cupboard. I shuffle to my feet before the boxes make too much noise, but the quiet commotion is enough to grab Lelani's dad's attention. His head darts back in my direction, eyeing the doors concealing me, carefully. The pulse in my neck quickens and I hold my breath, terrified that he might make out my silhouette and hear my anxious breathing through the spaces of the paneled wood.

"You know how to repair a closet rack, Mr. Campbell?" Alana laughs nervously, ushering him to look her way and quickly making an excuse for the racket, "Because mine just can't seem to stay together. Must be all the clothes, I guess. Speaking of clothes, I-"

Lelani's dad waves off Alana's rambling with a gentle hand, and I feel my lungs release the air they were holding in as he starts to stalk out of the bedroom. He stops right outside the hall, looking back to his red and puffy-eyed daughter one last time and gently speaking out, "I'll see you at the house, Lela."

When the coast is finally clear, Alana yanks open the closet doors, immediately reprimanding me, "Good one, dude! You just about got Lela's ass handed to her."

"Maybe you should clean out your closet," I joke back, shrugging my shoulders. I gently push her to the side, my movements remaining slow as I approach Lelani on the bed. I sit down carefully, placing a gentle hand against her arm, "Lani, look at me," and with those words she does, and my heart immediately drops as I recognize her sad eyes, "Everything's going to be okay, alright?"

She sniffles, wiping the wetness away from her cheeks, "I know."

"See," I say, bringing a knuckle to her face and wiping away another falling tear, "I don't like seeing this side of you. I don't want to be the one to force it out of you, either."

"You're not," she argues back, but her statement is only half-true, and she and I both know it.

"But I am. Being involved with me stirs up a whole lot of complications for you and I can't be the person to make you upset like this. Ending lessons is for the best. You understand that, right?"

Lelani turns her head away from me, refusing to look at me for even a second longer. "Alana," she calls out through a raspy voice, "Could you drive him to his car for me, please?"

"Come on, Jarhead," Alana quips, "Let's go."

I stand up from the bed, the emotions of regret and disappointment taking over my every thought. "I'm sorry, Lani. I really am."

And as much as I don't want to walk away from the idea of getting to know Lelani and being with her, glancing her way one last time and seeing her rosy and tear-stained cheeks... I know that I have to.

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