They requested me to not take part in sparring today with both Charlie and Sean since my breakdown. Not that I minded, since I hated fighting anyway. So, they forced me to go back inside so as to not "aggravate" my wolf further. Their words, not mine. It did not impress Celimene.

Staying inside didn't last for long, so I made my way over to the indoor fitness suite to do my own exercises. I was currently on the steps machine. My calves were burning, but I was determined to beat my personal best.

I could see the forest from where I was through the large tinted windows. I was so excited to go running later, but part of me was nervous I'd lose control. I wasn't sure what to do if I did, or if Cel would listen to Charlie if he commanded her.

Coming off the stairs, I made my way over to the weights and started doing a small routine with them to slow my heart rate a little. It was nearing lunchtime, so I'd do this, then cool down and go find some company. Being alone in my room made me realise how lonely I felt, and how empty the gap between Phoenix and me was making me feel. I didn't like it, so I worked my way through the emotions in the gym.

Half an hour later, I was done and practically melted myself into my shower. Training for everyone else had already finished and on my way back down from my room, I could hear many chatting in the kitchen. I couldn't make out Molly's voice and hesitated at the thought of going in there alone.

Cel bristled and forced me forward into the kitchen. No one glanced at me, but I tried to stay as small as I could as I helped myself to some chicken. I could hear familiar giggling and turned slightly to see Jess and her two friends looking at me. I narrowed my eyes and Cel grumbled in my mind.

Just as I had hoped they would leave me alone, I turned around and nearly walked right into them.

"Why were you not at training newbie? I would've loved to beat you." Jess sneered.

"I-I-"

"Oh, that's right, because you're so incompetent." Jess sniggered, and her friends laughed with her. "What? Ghoul got your tongue? Not brave without some kind of man defending your honour?"

I growled, fed up with being treated like a child. Cel was on edge all day from the tension in her blood, and I happily let her help me here. Coming together as we glared up at Jess with a desire to fight back.

I raised my head, so I was looking right into her eyes. They twitched slightly at my retaliation, but she soon turned it into a smirk and just as her annoying ass mouth went to open, I shut it up.

"Don't even go there today because I am not in the mood to deal with petty, low bullshit coming from you." I snarled, and Cel forced her way through. "You need to back off and leave me alone before I make you regret it."

She dared to scoff. "You? Against me? Hilarious."

Cel growled. The force of her unused power made Jess flinch.

"You are not even worthy of my time when you are not even worthy of your status. Pack members do not harm another, and I have had enough of people treating me like crap." I snapped.

Her smirk had dropped as they stared at me with wide eyes. I could feel other eyes on my back, but I focused Cel on her target.

"You are beneath me. You have no backbone to be speaking how you are when even the higher-ranking wolves shoot you down. You need to back off and stop being jealous of what you are so desperately trying to control." Cel snapped. "Your entire personality is fake. Even Alpha would never want a wolf like you by his side. So leave me alone."

She had dropped her gaze by now, already subconsciously submitting to my demand. I could hear oohs come from behind me before they ended in silence. I kept my stern posture and didn't waver my gaze until she finally rolled her eyes and shifted her feet.

"Whatever." She scoffed before walking away, her two shadows not far behind.

I watched them go, a small grumble leaving my lips.

"Nova!" a voice snapped.

My head darted to the new speaker with a growl. Beta Charlie came walking over with a hard stare in my direction.

"Control your wolf." He demanded.

Cel grumbled at him but glanced around at the scene of people standing watching. We could not afford to release so much of a dominating threat here. I felt her huff a sigh before her claws retracted and I fell back into full control with a stumble.

"Everyone back as you were." He growled.

"Sorry Beta Charlie," I mumbled, glaring at the floor.

"Unfortunately, Nova, I think you should go to your room for the rest of the day until your wolf is not in control." He sighed. "I will deal with her."

I felt my shoulders sag, but nodded. "Okay..."

I gave him a small smile and I could see a brief expression of regret cross his features. I understood, though, I couldn't risk my temper. Turning around, I walked away with my dinner plate and grabbed a drink from the side. Feeling sorry for myself, I slowly made my way back to the confine of my jail- I mean room. I locked the door behind me for extra dramatics.

I sighed and collapsed on my bed, curling into a ball. What was I supposed to do for the next ten hours? Rot away?

Thanks, Cel. I mumbled sarcastically.

She grumbled but didn't respond.

After lying around, I ended up falling asleep and when I eventually woke, my watch told me it was four o'clock. I woke feeling even more unsettled than I did this morning. The itch in my brain was driving me nuts. So, after pacing for ten minutes, I decided to get my painting out.

Art always helped control my brain. As I spaced out, I went to another world where time passed quickly.

Setting up my easel, I then dragged my paints from their drawer beside my bed. I pulled out a small 6-inch canvas and filled up a glass of water. I sat on my dresser chair and stared out my window. The sun was beautiful in the sky, the once rainy clouds had drifted away, leaving a pretty spring day behind.

And so I painted.

My brain wandered the depths of fantasy as my paintbrush worked its way into the white background. I haven't painted in a while. The hassle and stress of moving had meant it stayed in its drawer. But it felt good, a messy good, but good nonetheless.

Time passed by in a blur and when I finally felt finished, it was dark outside. I had painted two small pictures. The first one was a vibrant yellow background of a sunrise, beautiful and warming. A promise of a new day. I had drawn a small pack of wolves at the bottom, all gathered in the rays and enjoying the warmth.

The other picture was sunset, vibrant reds and pinks danced along the horizons and this time, the group of wolves were fearful. The trees in the distance were dark and looming, casting shadows across the field they laid in. Their backs were arched and one cowered behind the rest, in fear of what loomed behind the trees.

I committed them to memory and shrugged off the creepy feeling. I moved my easel to the side of my room so it wasn't obstructing my window seat.

It was eight o'clock and despite not having any dinner; I wasn't feeling hungry. But I unlocked my door and made my way down to the kitchen for a drink. Everyone must've been in their rooms, or the living areas, as I could only hear faint muttering.

I leaned against the island with a glass of cold water, feeling serene and at peace. Even Cel had retreated finally, at peace for a moment.

I heard footsteps approach me and tensed. Waiting for the culprit wasn't an option, so I discreetly sniffed out their scent. I relaxed once I realised it was only Charlie.

"What you doing down here?" He wondered as he rounded the corner. "I thought you were staying in your room."

I gaped at him as he looked up from his phone. "Are you seriously treating me like a child?"

His eyes widened at the tone of my voice. "N-no! Not at all... I was just... asking."

I narrowed my eyes at him, finishing my drink and placing my glass in the dishwasher. "Hmm, okay, I'll believe you just this once."

He grinned sheepishly. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. "Back to normal. She's b-backed off. For now. I c-con-controlled it fine."

He raised an eyebrow. "She seems untameable. How'd you manage that?"

There was a silent pause as I studied him. "I painted."

He frowned. "Painted? Like walls?"

I chuckled, keeping my sentences short helped with my nervous stuttering. "Canvas. I like art."

He raised an eyebrow. "So you paint pictures? Of what?"

I purse my lips. "I dunno. Often wolves."

"You don't know?"

"I g-go into a trance. D-don't know what I'm p-painting or d-drawing until I'm done."

"How peculiar."

I shrugged again, looking down to fidget with my nails. "What you doing h-here, anyway?"

"Heard you come down, wanted to make sure you were okay."

I scoffed. "Make sure I wasn't ripping into people, you mean?"

He chuckled. "I quite like this boisterous side of you. I look forward to meeting your wolf. You have twenty minutes, then I want you to meet me on the training grounds."

I frowned but nodded my head. "Okay. I will go get ready."

Charlie smiled down at me, a wicked glint in his eye. He was going to run me crazy. I could feel it. He was the more optimistic chatterbox of the high-ranking pack of wolves. Phoenix was way too serious to have a Beta like this, but it was warming he was so casual. Albeit it's just with me for now.

We parted ways, and I made my way up to my bedroom. I slipped into a dress and took off my underwear, as it would be a waste of time when shifting to and from my wolf form. I kept my hair in a tight ponytail, not knowing how crazy I might look when I shift back.

I grabbed some slip-on shoes and decided I was done. So I made my way out of my room and to the packhouse once again on the hunt for the training grounds.

***

I found Charlie a few hundred feet into the woods by the training grounds. He stood shirtless and barefoot, arms crossed as he waited for me. I cleared my throat when I approached, and he turned to me with kind eyes.

I noticed he scanned me from head to toe, probably not expecting to see me in a sundress. I shuffled slightly at the awkwardness I felt and he just chuckled at me in return.

"You ready?" He asked.

Cel was bristling, knowing she was about to be set free and so I nodded. "She's ready."

He nodded with a smile. "If she gets out of control, I will notice, don't you worry. My wolf is a good leader."

I don't doubt that. Cel was just not one for listening.

"I'll turn around whilst you shift. If Phoenix ever found out that I'd seen you naked, I would not live another day." He laughed.

I chewed my lip but nodded in return. Damn mate can talk to his Beta about me, but not to my face. I huffed before I took off my dress. I hung it against a nearby tree so it wouldn't get too filthy.

I took a deep breath, dreading the shift since it's been a while. Shifts took time to get used to, but Cel assured me I would be fine. So I took her word for it and called her forward.

I barely closed my eyes before I felt the shift. The magical sensation didn't cause me any pain, merely a flurry of energy ripples. Within seconds I landed on all fours, fur sprouting from my skin and sharp teeth and claws ready for a run.

It surprised me how fluid the shift had been, how I didn't feel any breaking of bones. Just a warming shimmer as she took over.

Charlie turned around at the sound of Cel's bark and glanced down at me with wide eyes. "Impressive shift time. You're a lot bigger than I thought you'd be, Luna."

Cel chirped and trotted over to him just as he shifted, too. He was a dark brown wolf, much like his human hair. His fur was thick as Cel gently sniffed at him. She recognised his wolf as the beta and I could feel her trust flooding through the wolf bond.

Charlie's brown eyes darted to our surroundings. 'Stay together.'

Cel barked happily, pulling herself forwards into a run. I kept my distance from her freedom, acting as a spectator. She never once pulled her control or fought for dominance. We stayed together even as she began tracking down a creature that smelt of grass.

She and Charlie's wolf follow the trail together before they must've ended up at the animal's location. Cel dropped to her belly and peered through some bushes. A deer. She was after a deer! Poor pretty deer, what if he or she had a family?

'Close your mind, Nova.' Cel cooed. 'You're too soft for this.'

I didn't want the deer to die, but I knew this was nature, even as cruel as it could be. Cel needed to hunt. It was her nature. Even if I didn't like to see innocent blood spill.

Okay, I trust you. I whispered before letting Cel take full control of our body and minds.

***

Something coaxed me back to my mind and Cel began to back away. We once again joined each other, and I blinked at my surroundings, unaware of where we ended up.

I noticed my fur was wet and I couldn't taste any food or smell any blood; I guessed Cel had been courteous enough to clean herself. I was currently laid under some apple trees, Charlie's wolf cleaning himself beside me.

I lifted my heavy head to glance at the sky to see the half-moon high in the grey clouds. The stars were hard to see beyond the thinning clouds, but I felt Cel's instincts buzzing beneath my skin.

Charlie noticed my position change and glanced over at me. 'Nova?'

Yeah? I whispered.

He barked and came over to me to lick at my ear. 'You're back.'

How long have I been gone? I wondered.

His wolf sat on his haunches and sneezed suddenly, which made me jump to my feet in surprise. He whimpered and flattened his ears to his head in apology, but I merely huffed a laugh and copied his position.

'A few hours. We hunted a few deer and took them to the tree line. Some patrol wolves will pick them up and take them to the meat locker for the chef to sort for dinner tomorrow. Your wolf did great. She never once lost control, despite not having you there. So after the first hunt, I let Axel take over, and they had fun together. She bossed him around a bit, from what he told me.' He shook his fur.

I chuckled. Yeah, she's boisterous.

He barked a laugh. 'Come on, it's late, so let's go back.'

I nodded my head and trotted behind him. He wasn't much bigger than me, surprisingly. His wolf was slimmer than I expected, but from what I've seen tonight, he's fast and smart in his paces.

Cel was about four inches shorter than him. Her long legs and slim build made it obvious she was a female, but she was just as quick and witty as Axel.

I found my dress where I left it and shifted mid-run. Quickly slipping it on to avoid embarrassment, once covered, I moaned in the delight of my two legs. I felt achy and I could feel Cel's exhaustion through the bond.

I opened my eyes from stretching and cracking my neck and back to see Charlie walking over to me with a grin. His brown hair was all over the place, damp with sweat and covered in mud. I could only imagine I looked the same.

I was thankful they forced me to work out because even now I was short of breath, I couldn't imagine the person I was two months ago doing this.

Charlie looped his arm around my shoulder as we walked and gave me a playful squeeze. "It was nice to have you let loose. You're always so on edge."

I gently shrugged his arm off, uncomfortable with the human touch right now. "It's h-hard to overcome fear when so many have looked down on me."

He frowned as he walked me to the front steps. "They won't for long, Nova."

I sighed and turned to him. "How?"

He stopped in front of me and frowned. "Phoenix is conflicted. He wants you, that's all I can say. But it's... difficult."

"Difficult how?" I pushed.

He sighed and looked beyond the trees. "I can't tell you much, but just know he's stressed beyond his means with so many packs to look after and reputations to uphold. He's fierce, Nova, but things are just difficult. He has to sort some things out first."

I knew I would get nowhere with him. He was too committed to his Alpha to indulge me in this. Giving up my fight, I sagged my shoulders and looked away from Charlie.

"Oh-Okay. I'm g-going to bed, I'll s-see you tomorrow."

I didn't leave him there long as I jogged my way inside. I was thankful for the large hall clock since I had to remove my watch. It was 2 am; I had been out for so long, but I was glad Cel loved it so much. Maybe we could do it more often.

She hummed in agreement before yawning. We were both tired, but my mind was muddled. I wasn't sure what to think about my mate or his cold-blooded treatment of me and others. He was too confusing, and that was making my heart ache in sympathy with my brain.

Stripping off my dress, I climbed into the shower. I wasn't too filthy, but I felt it, so I made it quick and was out in ten minutes. I felt a lot more relaxed now and decided in the night's warmth to sleep naked. I was too exhausted to get dressed. Collapsing onto my bed, it didn't take long before I felt myself succumbing to the dream world.

***********

**edited**

June 14th '21 - GUYS I HIT 10k reads! Ahhh thank you all so much. To every reader and voter, & especially to those who comment 😍 I loooooveee u all for supporting my book!

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