I have never felt such anxiety before, my heart was pounding rapidly with every second that ticked by.

I know I hadn't been waiting too but it felt like an eternity, like I've been pacing our room for days.

I had told Xander I wanted to speak to him, I needed to talk to him about my past, about what happened to me. When I was speaking to him he had a look about him that said he knew, but how could he know?

So here I was, in our room, pacing like an idiot waiting for my mate. I hate that I'm acting so scared, I didn't like this side of me. And I most certainly didn't like Xander seeing this side of me. I was his dom, I was supposed to be strong, I was supposed to be the one to comfort him when he's upset.

Heck the only person I ever let my guard down around is Matt, my parents I haven't even opened up to in years.

I pause my little mental war as I hear footsteps coming down the corridor, the sweet scent of my mate never failing to make my mouth water.

The door creaks open to reveal my beautiful mate, Xander smiles at me as he enters the room and slowly closes the door behind him.

"Hi daddy." His voice was sweet as always, a little blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Hello baby boy, come give me a hug." I opened my arms as he sort of waddled over to me, sinking into me as I held him close. I'll never get tired of holding him. "Thank you for coming to see me, baby."

"You've been so anxious these past few weeks daddy, you're really making me worried." His voice sounded so sad that my heart clenched, I didn't want him upset.

"I'm so sorry Xander, I know my stress hasn't been easy on you. You need me to be there for you, especially when our son will be born any day now-" I was cut off when a pair of soft lips met mine, my body relaxing a little bit at the tender affection given to me by my mate.

"Thank you pumpkin, I really needed that." I pulled back from the kiss to see Xander's cheeks pink, his innocent eyes looking up at me. "Why don't we sit down?"

I gestured to the bed and with a nod we both sat down, facing each other whilst our fingers intertwined.

I took a deep breath as I tried to ready my thoughts, I didn't really know how to start, where to start.

"So I wanted to talk to you about something. It's about my childhood."

When I made eye contact with Xander he had a sort of knowing look on his face. Almost like he knew where this was going. I think he caught on to my stare as his cheeks darkened, looking away from me.

"Xander, is there something you're not telling me?" I put on my dominant voice, letting him know it was a demand and not a question.

He sighed half heartedly and turned back to me. "Vladimir told me that you were bullied as a child."

My face paled, why did he tell him that, I wanted to be the one-

"But he didn't go into details, he left that up to you. When you and Daddy were away yesterday the two of us were talking and I wanted to know about the place you were going to, I really hate seeing you hurt daddy. Vladimir only told me that the bullying took it's toll on you and that the place you two went was the place that helped you escape from it all. "

I wanted to be upset, I really did, but I couldn't.

"I should've told you earlier on, I know myself and Matt expect honesty from you yet I didn't give you that same honesty back. As your dom and mate you should be able to trust me." I said with a heavy sigh, I wasn't used to opening up like this.

"Daddy it's okay, I know this still holds a burden on you, and that it must still be hard to talk about." I squeeze my eyes shut when I feel them watering slightly.

"It is, it will always be hard to talk about. But for me to be open and honest with you Xander, I need to."

"I know, and I'm glad you are daddy." He offered me a warm smile as he squeezed my hands to comfort me.

I take a deep and try to gather my words, not too sure where I was going to start.

"When I was in the academy there were certain boys in my year who gave me a hard time." I took a glance at Xander, he nodded his head in encouragement for me to continue.

"They didn't seem to care that my father's were the leases of our coven, they just saw me as a fun target."

I could feel my chest tighten as I opened my heart up for the first time in centuries. When I eventually graduated from the academy I buried what happened almost immediately, letting them become nothing but memories.

"It had started off with name calling, stuff like stick man and flatty." I saw a look of confusion on Xander's face.

"When I was still young I was very slim, I wasn't always muscly like I am now, so that's where I got stickman from."

"And flatty?"

"That was because of my fangs. Some Vampires take a little longer to grow their fangs in, and even when they come in they may not be as pointy as others straight away."

"They sound like dicks." Xander said with a grumble that I couldn't help but chuckle to, he looked adorable when he frowned.

"Yes they were, but that was only at the start. Further into the year they were when they became more physical, they'd trip me up and push me about. When they got bored of that they started beating me up, they'd drag me into classrooms and empty storage cupboards and beat me to a pulp." I tried to take a few breaths as my voice began to strain, tears now pooling up in my eyes.

"When they'd finish they would force me to stay there until I healed, so no one would know."

"Oh daddy." I heard Xander whimper as he moved closer to me.

"Matt tried to threaten them numerous times but they didn't care. He wanted to tell our parents about what was happening but I was too ashamed of myself, I didn't fight back, what kind of vampire of two leaders couldn't fight for himself?"

I let the first sob leave my lips, my old wounds were slowly being torn open as I bared myself to my mate.

"It was only one day when they decided to let me go before I healed when dad and papa found out. They just happened to be at the school when they found me in that state." I buried my head in Xander's neck as I started to cry harder.

"They were furious, not with me but with the fact that I didn't say anything. They made me tell them everything, it was so hard. I could barely look them in the eye."

I was full on sobbing at this point and I couldn't stop myself. I hadn't opened up this part of me in so long, it was taking everything out of me.

I gasped in surprise when I felt myself being lifted up and placed in Xander's lap, I stared at him in shock. I never sat in his lap, in anyone's lap, I didn't really know how to act.

He then pulled my head down and ticked it pack into his neck.

"Let me comfort you daddy. You may be my dom but you're still my mate, and I want you to know that you can always be yourself with me, both you and Matt."

He rubbed my back soothingly and I couldn't help but melt into his touch, I may be his dom but I needed this, I needed him.

I continued to cry in Xander's hold, being comforted like this was new to me, but I had so much trust in Xander and so much love that I could be this way with him. I could let him hold me the way I would him, let him calm me down the way I would him. He was perfect.

"You're everything I could've ever asked for in a mate. Goddess I love you so much Xander." And I did, oh dear goddess I did, with every fibre in me.

He pulled me back and I saw tears of his own pour down his face, he held a wobbly smile.

"I love you too daddy, I will always love you." he whispered and I leaned forward to capture his lips in mine.

We melted into each other's hold and soaked up all the love we could pull from one another.

"Thank you Xander, for everything." I said when I finally pulled back.

"And thank you daddy, for opening up to me."

"I promise in the future I'll be more honest with you, especially with our baby almost here."

A knock on the door had our heads turned as it slowly creaked open, Matt stepping into the room and shutting it behind him.

He made his way over to the bed and sat down next to us, he didn't comment on our current position and I was thankful. Though I knew he'd probably bring it up sooner or later.

"Why don't we all get some sleep? I think it's safe to say we're all tired." he said as leaned forward to give us both a kiss on the head.

"Yes, I think that's a great idea."

And with that we all got undressed and under the duvet, Xander snuggled in between Matt and I.

At this moment I was happy, so unbelievably happy. And I knew there would only be more happiness so long as I had Matt and Xander in my life, in my future.

They were my everything.

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