· · ──── ·𖥸· ──── · ·

Sam sits beside me for the lecture that I can feel is going to last a lifetime. The conversation she suggested I have with Joshua did not go to plan. I roll my eyes as I type out my notes. I'd planned to tell him how much I hate him, but he managed to get a word in. I got my point across, I can feel I did, but I didn't come out on top, and that fact irritates me. Now I have to sit here and listen to him, watch him glance over me, tighten that annoying jaw every time we make eye contact. Luckily, he hasn't asked me anything yet. Maybe he will get the picture after all.

"Are you gonna tell Owen?" Sam asks when we finally get given a task and the classroom noise starts.

"I need to, I just need to work out how," I answer. "He'll need answers to how it's possible, a solution, and I have none of those."

"I think the later you leave it, the worse he's going to feel about it," Sam says. "He's your fiancé. Unfortunately, this is one of those things he'll have to get over not having a solution for. You're gonna have to tell him that."

"I know, I know," I admit. "I'll just have to find a way. The thing is, I have absolutely zero intention of, you know, following through with being Fated to this guy, so he has nothing to worry about anyway."

"Well, true, but if I were in his shoes, I'd wanna know," she says.

"I'll tell him tonight. Somehow," I say and get on with the work. My wrist is warming across my Knot, and I know it's whenever he looks at me, whenever he wants to come over. I know he does because I can feel the scratch of temptation rolling from him to me like a sprinkle of snow on a cold day.

I stare at the new message from Owen: 'You okay Camellia? You seemed a bit off this morning. You coming by after your lectures?'

I take a breath and reply, knowing that once I send it, there's no backing out: 'Yeah I'm okay. I'll be done in a couple of hours. I need to talk to you about something. Love you.'

I hit send before I can change my mind. It probably sounds like a break-up, but we both know it would be impossible. Though, maybe it's not; what the hell are the rules with something like this? Are all three of us Fated to be? Are they Fated to be best friends, and I in a romantic relationship with them both? I don't quite understand it, but either way, like Sam said to me yesterday, it's happening, and I need to deal with it.

'Sure, is... is this a breakup?' He questions so quickly; I worry for a second. Does he not feel me right now? I know I can feel his worry etched into my pounding heart despite us being twenty minutes away from each other. Or is that just me knowing what he's like?

'No, you idiot! I love you! It's something serious, but no breakup. I promise.' I message back, and those ticks turn blue instantly.

'That's good then. I'll take my paperwork out into the office, and we can discuss whatever it is. Love you, my Amelia Camellia.'

I send him a cute GIF of a teddy bear with heart eyes before we all have to listen to whatever drivel Joshua is on about now. Something about social inequalities and disability I think, I haven't been taking much notice.

He catches my eye for a single moment, but it's enough for the burn in my wrist to start. The weird thing about it is that it's not a bad burn, it's a warming burn, like sitting by a heater on a freezing cold day.

I narrow my eyes at him, trying to stop him from looking at me, but it doesn't work with the feelings. The confusion rolls from him, into my mind. The emotion floods my mind, my heart, my veins like a tsunami. He likes me, doesn't mind being Fated to me.

He's what... thirty? I don't actually know his age, but I'm nineteen and his student.

I suppose that the Fated One rules won't even care about his status as my teacher, or at best, we would be able to wait until I graduate from university to start our lives as Fated Ones, but I don't live like that. I have another. I need to shut out his tether, but I wouldn't even know how to do that. I've never felt it relevant to do with Owen because I like being tethered with him.

He finally looks away and the burn stops. I glance at Sam as she starts piping up at some discussion happening throughout the room.

I stare at my wrist: the contours of the Knot are already singed into my memory, but it's like I'm seeing them again for the first time. This new development makes me see it from a new light—

"Amelia?" Joshua's voice asks.

I glance up. He's standing in front of the table. "Hm? Sorry?"

"I was just asking if you're okay, you don't look very well," he says.

I shake my head. "I'm fine, thanks."

He winces a little. Can he feel my agitation at his closeness right now? I hope he does. I know he can feel my lie oozing from me like tree sap, because I feel his annoyance at it. I thought we were going to ignore each other.

"Okay, if you're sure," Joshua says and walks off. My fist furls, and I bend my wrist, the tattoo wrinkling and moving as I do. I feel the pang in my heart, though, like a string on a guitar snapping.

Joshua's hurt emotionally.

I don't really care, though. He stormed into my life as my teacher, failed me, and then tries to slot himself in as my Fated One when I don't even want him. I'm aware of the consequences of refusing, but I also don't care about that. I don't owe him anything apart from my university work handed in on time. The only thing he owes me is my mark for said work, and it better be more than fail, too.

Other than that, it's inappropriate, it's a big age gap...

Except it's not really that bad, there are bigger age gaps in the world.

I just don't want an arrogant, irritating arsehole as my Fated One. I have Owen.

I slam my laptop closed.

"Amelia?" Sam asks.

I pack my stuff. Joshua's eyes land on me, his dark eyes narrowing in confusion. The questioning drops into my brain like a stone being thrown into water. We both stare at each other for a moment, and I know people have noticed, but the truth swirls like cigarette smoke between Josh and me.

"I'm not feeling well, I need to leave," I mutter.

"No problem. I... I will email you the notes later," he stammers.

I don't say anything more, I just rush out of the room before I can succumb to his stupid tether that's begging me to stay.

· · ──── ·𖥸· ──── · ·

I hold the takeaway cup in both hands and stare at Owen as he piles his paperwork on the desk in his office. I know he knows the severity of this conversation, though he might not know the topic. I can feel the beat of his anxiety thumping in my head like a bass guitar.

"Okay, what's going on?" Owen asks eventually. He sits at the desk as if he's giving me a job interview. I scoff at the thought: imagine us working together along with everything else. It'd be a disaster.

"I... you're not the only one I'm Fated with," I announce. If you rip the wax off fast, it might hurt for a moment, but it'll be over with quickly.

He blinks, his expression suddenly as white and blank as a piece of paper in his writing notebook – the one he says he uses for ideas, but never does.

"Excuse me, what?" he asks. It's meant to sound like a joke, but it comes out as anything but. He looks ill.

"I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But I promise you, this isn't a joke. Owen, I love you, I have since I was twelve. I just... I've been getting these weird feelings for a while, a bit like the burning and stuff. I didn't realise until I saw it a couple of days ago... it's my lecturer, Joshua. He's got the same Knot Art we have," I say.

"You mean the three of us are Fated—"

"I didn't see it like that before," I say when he doesn't finish his sentence. "Have you been getting weird sensations too? Like when he looks at me, since I saw the Knot, my wrist burns. I can feel some of his emotions. But before I saw it, I just felt drawn to him. It's really weird. I guess because we've always been together, we don't really notice it, and now I do?"

Owen narrows his eyes. He's trying to think on it, I can tell.

"No, I can't say I have. I mean, I haven't noticed him much because I haven't been looking or paying attention. But I would've remembered if I'd felt something like that," he says.

"It crossed my mind that what if it were you and Joshua that are Fated, or what if it were one of our Knots are faulty?" I mention. "But I don't know, I'm definitely feeling the effects whenever I'm near him. I just hate him so fucking much."

He chuckles. "So, I have nothing to worry about, then?"

I roll my eyes. "You know I loathe him. Anyway, I can't find anything on the topic on the internet, whether it's because it's never happened before or whether it's such a taboo thing that people aren't allowed to talk about it, I don't know. But it's led me to believe I have a choice, and I'll always choose you. I just wanted you to know the truth."

He sips his coffee and contemplates it. The rage is bubbling inside him like a pot of boiling water, I know it because of the way he stares behind me and not at me anymore. I can't feel it though, and that's what worries me.

"Owen, I... I don't even know how this is possible, and I don't know what this means, but I'm not accepting him," I urge. "I... he annoys me, I hate being in the same room as him. I just... I didn't want to lie because it feels like this isn't going to end."

"Has he done something to you?" he demands.

"No, nothing like that. He's tried to talk to me about it, but I told him I reject him because I have a Fated One, but he's still got to mark my work for like three years, he's already failed me once, I have to be careful. It's not like I can get rid of him from my life easily."

He chuckles and sips his drink again; he does that when he's nervous or when he's contemplating what to say.

"Well, if you reject him then that's the end of it, right? Our Knots match, my card said your name, your card said my name. It's not hard to deduce that if anything, this guy's card and Knot is defective, or he's changed it somehow or whatever. Just move on, I guess," Owen says.

I snort. "I mean, it's not as simple as that. You're not the one feeling the emotions of three people in their soul, you know?"

He shakes his head. "It's bullshit, Camellia. It's psychological because you've seen the same Knot Art. Just act as if it never happened and move on."

I start to argue with him, because though he hasn't been feeling the tether, I have. It's real. He just doesn't want to accept it because he's worried.

I don't know how else to make him feel secure. Surely, he should be able to feel the sincerity in my heart.

Judging by the look on his face, he does, but he's not giving me those signals internally right now.

"Was that it?" Owen asks coldly.

"Yeah...yeah that was it," I stammer.

I'm confused as to why he's being so cold over this. Is it the worry he's giving off? Is it the anger I feel deep, deep down inside that he's holding? Is it the confusion we're both clearly feeling? Why doesn't he want to know more about this like I do? Despite my rejection of Joshua, I know I need to know some sort of answer here. I want to know why I have two Fated Ones, what it means, and what to do about it.

The problem is, if I admit this to the government, I might find out something I don't like, and if I do that, I could be stuck with Joshua forever instead of Owen. Worse, if I find out there's something wrong with me, or Owen... I've heard rumours about them eradicating people with defective Knot Art or segregating them from society.

I don't quite care about Joshua, I'd rather he just disappeared from my life, but I wouldn't wish segregation or death on him, I'm not that evil. I suppose segregation would mean a peaceful life away from him.

Whatever. I can't go to the government about this.

"I have work to do, so I'll crack on," he announces.

I want to ask him what his problem is, but I can feel his problem, and I know he knows it. I know he can feel my utter confusion and annoyance as well. But neither of us mention it.

Silence is sometimes more powerful than words, and now I can absolutely tell that the silence is more telling than anything either of us can say on this point.

· · ──── ·𖥸· ──── · ·