My heart pounded as I pushed everyone that was on my way, I have to find her and I have to find her soon, in this damn space.

Days before Abby called Cole about Everly being taken away by some strangers. I was in London, thinking through my life. Everly deserve so much better, but here I am constantly breaking her heart. Draining her physically and emotionally. I am responsible for explaining to her about why I had her diary, but I felt I needed to think it through, with the words that I use. Our relationship at this point is in the flame and I don't want to add fuel in the fire, not when I can be cautious and let the fire settle down.

Going back to London, was a decision I made to see how I really feel about being home. My anger towards my parents for leaving London was something I had to figure out. Do I even miss London, that I can't move on in life? Or am I just making excuse to be angry at my parents? They were never there, not even before Bonnie left and they are still not making an effort when Bonnie left. Cole was very mad at me when he found out I was going to London. It did not made sense to me why? I visit London during my vacation, so what's the problem now.

He snapped at me and said, "You think running from your problem is the best solution? Then fine." And he glared and walked out of the house, leaving me confused. I was just going to visit London to clear my thoughts.

In spite of his attitude towards my decision, he still was supportive and came to the airport to say goodbye.

"She deserve to know the truth." He patted my back as he hugged me.

"I know that." I said. I just need a little more time to figure out what I am angry about, so that I can come back and start fresh. I should have started fresh over here, but no. I had to carry my temper with me and now it is against me.

The day, that I was flying back to states, Cole called me and he sounded tense and nervous.

"Where are you?" He asked me.

"I'm at the airport." I said.

"Where are you going?"

"I am flying back to states?" I said and he was surprised.

"Your mom said, you guys are spending time in London?" He asked, confused.

"I never spoke to her about that plan, I am flying very soon. What's up?"

"It's Everly." He said and I took a sharp breath.

"Is she okay?" I asked, throughout my stay in London, she was in my mind. I wondered how she was doing, what she was doing and more over was she thinking about me? About us?

"She doesn't seem okay to me, she seem to be hiding something." Cole said. "She seem to be stressing about something, or maybe she is missing you?"

"I am coming back, I am coming back for her and I need to explain to her." I said, motivated. "I will be there very soon."

"I met her today with Abby and she seemed to be stressing about something and her parents are away for Christmas. That's what Abby told me and she find it suspicious that they left her behind."

"Did you do any check or background as to why she is behaving that way?"

"She did not share anything with Abby?"

My body tensed. "Did she meet Landon, again?" My heart beat quicken. Let it be, no. I don't want her to encounter that guy, without me.

"Don't think so, she usually share these things with me."

"She never tells me things." I said, my voice turning into a mumble.

"You two need to start communicating and start reflecting on things." He suggested.

"We were doing fine, before."

"You have to look for a better way to communicate now." He suggested.

"Yes, I am ready to talk about everything and anything with her." I said. "I have to make this work."

"I believe you should come back, she lost weight too and lost interest in things."

"I am coming." I said, I am coming home, coming to where my heart belong and coming to where my home is. I would have never imagined, calling someone my home. She is my home and my shelter, that I need in my life, it may have took me a while to think through my life, but I have figured everything out and I have to now do what I am suppose to do, i.e to give my home a beautiful feeling. I want her to feel beautiful in our relationship and feel good about her and ourself. Coming back to London, I realized that my anger towards leaving London have nothing to do with my parents. It have to do with how I suppress my emotions and was afraid to speak out about my feelings to my parents about how I felt and more over how Bonnie felt. There were things, they never knew about us and assume about how we felt and that made me mad. Bonnie, never had the chance to tell them that she never liked the ballet class, that she like guitar more than piano, she likes video games more than books! There were so many things, they assume we liked, but it was our fault. We did not have the courage to speak out how we felt, and I was angry at myself and all this time, I was making excuses that they should have known, they should have tried, but it was us all along who never spoke out soon enough.

I need to speak about my relationship with Everly before it is too late. Bonnie never had the chance to speak her mind, but I want Everly to know how I feel towards her and want her to be part of my decision making in life. I was ready, I am ready to open the door and let her into the world, that I am afraid people hated, it is her decision if she wants to come in, but at least I know I will have no regrets. I just hope she hold on to me, hold on until I speak my mind out.

❤️❤️