"Why should I care what foreign ambassadors think of me?" I ask as my mother laces the back of my black ballgown dress. Turns out, I have to dress up when there are guests too, which luckily isn't often.

"Because it sets an impression," my mother insists, smoothing my hair that's pinned into a complicated bun on the back of my head. "Besides, you don't have to go to the meeting, just the party, that's the fun part. All you have to do is drink wine and have fun."

"How about I just don't go at all," I suggest. "I can't set a bad impression if I'm not there."

"Rowan, you are going! Lachlan specifically sent you an invitation. If he wants you to be there, you're going to be there," she says, her hands on her hips.

"Yes mother," I mumble, rising from the chair I'm in. "I'll head straight there."

"One last thing," she says. She places a dainty silver diadem in my hair.

"Thank you," I say, giving her a kiss on the cheek. When we reach the doorway we go separate ways and I head to the party. When I get there the ballroom is already a booming social hotspot. As I look around I see no familiar faces...but I do see one familiar thing. Food. Along the walls are bottles of wine and small pastries and treats on platers. I start sipping on wine, scoping out what to eat first.

"Straight for the food, I see." I hear a voice say from behind me. It's Carnelian. I jump in his arms, unable to believe he's here. I saw him briefly at the dinner my first night back but we hardly talked.

"How are you? Tell me everything!" I plead, looking at his familiar face and faded red hair.

"I know you want to know everything so I'll just get straight to the point, I promise. I have two sons. One is eight, the other five. I divorced last year and don't say you're sorry cause it was for the best," he says, lacing his hands behind his back.

"Oh, I'm glad! How are your boys?" I ask, just staring at his familiar face.

"They're good. My oldest is-" His words are cut off by music and it's a sort of music I've never heard before. It sounds like a sort of classical song but there's a beat. Carnelian holds out his hands and mouthes, dance with me. For a moment, I just stare at him blankly but slowly a smile makes its way onto my face. I take Carnelians hands and he swings me around the floor as the other pairs join. Before I even know it, I'm laughing as he twirls me around, him laughing too. Oh, how I've missed that smile. I look at the band and I see what's bringing the classical aspect. There's this strange instrument that looks like a wooden tea tray with the middle hollowed out. There are small stands on the corners to hold it about an inch off of the floor. The man who plays it is sitting on the floor, hunched over, playing the strings that run across the hollow middle, creating a violin sound.

I look to my right and see Lachlan drinking wine in the corner, looking right at me with a smirk on his face. I gasp, snapping my head to look at anything else but him. The song ends and Carnelian bows, kissing my hand. I see the other ladies curtsey and I'm not quite sure how to do that so I pick my skirt an inch off the floor, bowing my head and bend my knees only slightly. Nobody makes a face so I assume it didn't look terribly awkward. The pairs start to leave the floor but something catches my arm. I look up and see Lachlan.

"Care for a dance?" He asks, taking my hand. He leads me back to the dance floor and I don't protest. When the other couples see that Lachlan is coming they subtly slide off the dance floor, leaving it bare. Lachlan hardly seems to notice this. Bik! The band starts to play something slower and Lachlan kisses my hand, his eyes staring into mine. I awkwardly look around at the crowd watching us and out of all the faces I see, Lily's grin is the most prominent.

As the music plays my thoughts become progressively mover bitter. Why is he even dancing with me right now? He'll only start rumors and confuse everyone, me most of all. In the past loving him was like a hurricane or earthquake but now it's a million times worse. It feels like I'm caught under a tsunami, thousands of pounds of weight crushing me until I can't breathe. I'm suffocated and more confused than ever. The music dies down and Lachlan bows, kissing my hand and I don't bother to curtsy.

"Can we talk?" He whispers in my ear as the crowd claps politely.

"I don't think that would be appropriate," I say softly. "I mean, you wouldn't want to leave your guests."

"I hardly think they'll notice my absence," he insists. Hesitantly, I follow him out of the party, walking in silence up flights of stairs and through empty hallways. When we're on the fourth floor Lachlan opens a door revealing one last narrow flight of stairs leading to the roof. I reach the roof before him, feeling the chilly air, rubbing my bare arms. As he steps onto the roof he hands me his longsleeved leather doublet and for a moment I hesitate...then take it, wrapping it around me.

For a while, we just stand there, looking out over the town in silence avoiding eye contact. I'm just counting all the mistakes that got us here in the first place. I look down at the delicately handcrafted hem of his doublet numbly, smelling his familiar scent. His comforting smell hasn't changed at all and it kills me. It used to bring me such comfort and peace. Two things I really need right now.

"I brought you up here to talk but I'm not sure what to say," Lachlan says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I guess apologizing would be a good place to start? Rowan, I really don't blame you for anything you did. I was hurt and angry but that was wrong of me. It's not an excuse, I should have never. More than anything I should have never made that painting of you. It was-"

"Lachlan!" I interrupt him. "I don't care about the damned painting anymore. If I cared about anything you've done in the past twelve years then there would be no hope for us. I can't think about the past because I don't blame you for it. I care about now. Honestly, I'm the one who should be sorry. I promised I would never leave you and I broke that promise. I promised I would try to stay alive and what did I do? I tried to blow myself up in the Underground. I said I was in the car when we rescued Ash..."

"Rowan, that has nothing to do with this," he says.

"Just listen. It has everything to do with this. I was never honest with you, Lachlan. Every time I 'died' I was somehow breaking a promise I made to you. I never kept them. I excused everything Lark did. She told people about me, she made me feel bad for loving you, she never understood the seriousness of the situation when I was Yarrow. She just acted like everything was fine. She expected me to be fine. She expected me to be Rowan. She just never understood. She never understood me. I'm partially guilty too, I accused her of wanting you dead. I wasn't right but neither was she. We weren't right, yet I never cared. I just kept hurting you for her. When Lark was changed I was so worried she would be lost to me but when I became the EcoPan the first time and you were literally lost to me I was willing to accept that. Do you see how sick that is? How terrible I've been?"

"Rowan, Lark has nothing to do with this anymore," he says and it's clear he has no idea where I'm going with this.

"She does. She does because less than a week ago we were seventeen in my mind. I shouldn't have constantly excusing her actions. So this is my apology. I'm sorry for hurting you because I know I did so much. I'm sorry for choosing everyone over you. I'm sorry for choosing myself over you as your parents did. I'm sorry for choosing her over you. I only did it cause I loved her. And I'm only doing this now because I love you."

I take a step forward, closing the gap between us, pressing my lips to his. I wasn't fair to him. After we escaped Eden I kissed him twice and kissed her four times, it's time to make up for that. I know that Lark has nothing to do with us now but still, it mattered. I wasn't right to Lachlan in the past and he needs to know that I'm sorry. Lachlan has scars that I only cut deeper and maybe an apology is just a futile bandage but it's a start.

Lachlan hesitantly kisses me back, his fingertips just barely holding my face. Suddenly, he pulls away and I can't even begin to make out all the emotions on his face. Confusion, anger, fear...but I swear I don't see any love. No, there's no love or admiration or reverence left on his face. Just confusion, anger, and fear...

I gasp when I see this, my eyes filling with tears and I run. He calls after me but I just keep running. I run until I reach my room, closing the door behind, fighting off tears. I press my back to the door and whisper, "I can't do this anymore."

For a moment I don't even know who I'm talking to. To me? To Aaron? To Lachlan? To the universe?

To me, Yarrow's voice says from the back of my mind. Honestly Rowan. You love him, he loves you. What's the problem here?

"The problem is everyone misread him," I say as I sit at the vanity taking my hair pins out. My dark hair falls in dramatic curls from being in the bun. I take off the ballgown and put on a crisp white night dress then put Lachlan's doublet over it, crawling into bed. "Everyone was so sure he loved me and as it turns out, he doesn't anymore." I sigh. "It's been twelve years, who can blame him?" I'm acting calm now but I'm afraid as soon as the fire goes out and I'm left in the dark I won't be able to stop the tears from falling. Yarrow sighs and I can feel her annoyance.

Fine Rowan, but mark my words, he's still just a boy.

"How would you know?" I scoff.

Because believe me, I know a man better than you and no man would kiss you back.

"He didn't-"

He did. He's been stuck in time all this time Rowan, waiting for you to come. Time hasn't moved for him either in a way. He's still just a boy. Do you remember your last words to him before you became the EcoPan the second time?

"I love you. I'll see you soon," I mumble.

He held onto those words, he believed them. He waited for you because it was all he knew to do. He's still dwelling on you like a child because he is one. He still loves you!

"How could you know that?" I ask trying to sound disdainful when really I hope that she's right.

Because I could see them. You didn't have access to the first children the past twelve years but I did it behind Aaron's back. I watched him through the first children's eyes and...just believe me.

"You did what!" I shout at her. Before I can say another word there's a knock on the door and I open it. Lachlan. Without a word, he steps in my room closes the door behind him then start talking.

"Say something," he pleads. I smell whiskey on his breath and his eyes glisten. "I've never been any good with words so I need you to say something. Nothing about Lark or the past just something about the present or future, please." I look at his desperation and I almost can't say a word.

"I love you," I admit. "I love you and that's so stupid I know. I know that I must sound so idiotic that this must be some movie or something because nothing this dumb actually happens in real life but I can't help it. Less than a week ago I held you, smelling your skin freshly out of a bath, playing with your wet hair. That was only a few days ago for me. And I miss you. I miss you more than anything because I know that the boy you were less than a week ago is gone and he'll never be back. He's as good as dead and there is nothing to change that. The young man I fell in love with is dead." I wipe away a tear, biting my quivering lip. It's true. The young man named Lachlan that I once loved is gone, never to return. Somehow now I see the difference in him and the man in front of me. "And still I love you? Even I don't understand it. So if you don't love me then just say it, please."

Lachlan looks at me blankly...then tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and I see it. I see admiration in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispers and his face looks young to me again. Those words carry such heavyweight because I can tell how he means them. He doesn't just mean that he's sorry this time, he's saying it about everything. The past twelve years are summed up in two words. I'm sorry. I don't think any other words need to be said tonight. I crawl back into bed, patting the space next to me and he joins me. I put my head on his chest, closing my eyes and I haven't felt this kind of peace in eight months. Or ever.

"Do you love me?" I ask.

"I will," he says. I softly smile.

Lachlan and I need some serious work. He's a broken alcoholic and I'm a bikking mess, but like always and since the beginning, we're the best pair. We'll make it work.

And after everything he's been through, after everything he's endured, I feel him relax under my touch. Every bit of pain, grief, and regret he's ever felt seems to fade to nothing. I feel his soul light up with joy as he realizes we will never be apart again.