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Rowan puts a final pin in my hair, finishing my preparations for dinner. I look in the mirror at the braids on top of my head, taking a shaky breath.

"Do I go to dinner now?" I ask. I hope that my voice isn't as shaky as it sounds to me, or as it feels.

"Wearing that?" Rowan questions and it's only now that I realized I'm still wearing the robe. "No, there are so many gorgeous things to choose from!" Rowan runs to wardrobe, flinging the doors open excitedly. I smile, realizing that she's used to making her own clothes from what she can get, not fancy dresses meant to impress the foreign women. Within the wardrobe there's about a dozen beautifully detailed handcrafted dresses and the simplicity makes them more beautiful than the ones in Eden. She pulls out a lacy red dress that is tight fitting in the top half and gradually moves out into a soft mermaid style skirt. She lets out a loud gasp. "Oh, I've never seen anything like this in my life!"

It wouldn't even be in style in Eden, Yarrow says. I tried to suppress a grin, missing my old friend.

"It's a little too flashy for the occasion, don't you think? It's just not really my style," I say, laying the red dress across the huge bed. "Which one next?"

She pulls out a white dress, stacked in several layers and lays it on the bed herself with a slightly disgruntled look on her face. She pulled out a poofy grey dress which I then again decline. I want to tell her that I just rather wear pants or something casual but she seems so happy and I don't want to hurt her feelings. She pulled out a black dress with a boat neck cutting straight across, leaving my shoulders bear and I almost decide on that one. She pulls out another beautiful white dress but I can hardly bear the thought of wearing something so pure when I feel like such a mess. Finally, she pulls out a red dress with tight lace sleeves on the top half and a solid red princess bottom.

"I actually like that one," I say. "It's not too much, do you think?"

"I think you'll definitely be the best dressed one there but that's fitting considering who you are," she says dragging the dress towards me but it's larger than she is. I replay her words in my head, considering who you are. That makes me squirm. Still, I just smile taking the dress from her and try it on in the bathing room. Luckily, it fits like a glove. I look into the mirror and I feel numb as I do. The girl, who is starting to look more like a woman, I see in the mirror looks so elegant, so beautiful, and you would think that what she feels would match. But it doesn't match. I don't feel the way I look at all. I step back into the main room, dragging the heavy ballgown skirt behind me and the look on her own face is enough to light up my soul.

"Oh, it's so beautiful!" She gushes. "Have you ever seen anything like this in your life?" She feels the soft fabric of my dress.

"No actually. They didn't wear dresses like this in Eden," I say. "Thank you for helping me, and thank you for keeping me company. I can't help but feel like you've been my comfort since

arriving here again."

"Of course," she says, taking my hands. "This is the most fun I've had in all my life!"

"Is it time to go to dinner?" I ask and she nods. "Rowan, what if I can't do this?"

"What do you mean?" She asks and I see the childish giddiness leave her and it replaced by the mature wisdom I saw before.

"I...I don't know if I can face them all. What if it's all different? What if they don't even want to know me anymore?"

"Rowan," she sighs and I can hardly believe I'm confiding in a child. "Your mom, Ash, and Lark love you unconditionally, it will take time but I know you'll be close to them again soon."

"And Lachlan?" I ask. She sighs, looking away.

"I don't know, Rowan. All I know is that he still loves you, at least a little bit. I don't know what will happen with him but... It'll be okay, I promise." I get the strangest feeling when I look at her eyes, and I believe her. I believe I'll be okay. I take a deep breath, walking to the sturdy polished wood door, turning the handle I stand there for a minute, my whole future seems to dangle on the blade of a knife at that moment.

Finally, I step into the hallways, tentatively then boldly like that deer from my dream that I now know was real. How could that have been almost thirteen years ago? The hallways are bare stone and it feels cold. I slowly start to walk with Rowan at my side, leading me to the dining hall as the sound of my heels clicking ring sharply throughout this floor of the castle. I feel unbalance and uneasy and it's not because of the heels. I think I'm going to pass out. My heart races and my palms sweat as I realize in just a few short minutes I'll be seeing my family again, but it's inevitable. I have to see them again and I want to see them again, so I have to shake off my nerves so I can be strong for them.

"I don't have to dress up any other day than today, right?" I ask, already feeling uncomfortable in this tight lace.

"Of course not. Don't worry, I'll make sure you get plenty of comfy clothes tomorrow," She promises.

"You really don't have to worry about me," I say.

"It's my job as a human on this earth to help people, as it was your job as a human on this earth to save humanity. We all have a purpose and I don't intend on being useless dead weight," she says, slowing her pace. "Do you see that door at the end of the hall? That's the dining room, are you ready?"

I shake my head and say, "no, but I have to be. I can be."

"Don't worry, I'll be there the whole time," she says softly, taking my hand. Hand in hand we walk to the dining room and I can already hear the murmurs and chatter. "Go ahead, they're waiting for you."

My knees shake as I twist the handle to the dining room. I feel as if I'm outside of my body, watching as I open the door. I step into the doorway and everyone eyes land on me. Mom, Ash, Angel, Rook, Fern, Iris, Lark, Rainbow, Carnelian, and Lachlan are the only people there that I recognize. There are two children there that I don't know, a woman with brown hair standing next to Lark, and a bony blonde woman who is sitting at the table. There's a breathtaking moment where it's just all of us staring at one another.

"My two favorite Rowans!" Rook shouts running towards me and sweeping me and Rowan up into a tight embrace. I laugh against his chest thinking, he has no idea how grateful I am for that.

"Ew, dad let me go!" Rowan protests. "This isn't the time to embarrass me."

Thank you, I mouth knowing very well that Rook didn't do that to embarrass her. He grins at me then winks. I ignore all the other faces and turn to my mother and Ash. My mother's hair is all grey and I even see that Ash's hairline has gone back slightly. I can't wait to tease him for it. Balding at twenty nine, eh? Is it even appropriate to tease him now that he's a grown man? His shoulders are broader though and his face is more mature. Still, he's handsome. I extend my hand to him and he ignores it, engulfing me in a tight hug.

"My sister," He whispers into my ear and I have to try with all my might not to cry. Ash doesn't loosen his grip on me but I feel my mothers arms around us both and the smell of her hasn't changed at all. None of us can help it and we all shed a tear or two, ignoring the others in the room. "We've waited so long for you to come home! We knew you were the EcoPan and we never thought it would happen we just always hoped. Oh, Rowan, I've missed you!"

Finally, we're able to dry our tears and I'm able to turn to the others in the room. I hug Fern who is still beautiful after all these years and briefly compliment her on how lovely Rowan is. I hug Angel (who has hardly aged), then Lark and turn to the woman beside her.

"I'm Ivory," The woman says and I shake her hand. "Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

"Nice to meet you too," I say. Before I can say another word the two children that I didn't recognize start to jump up and down, aggressively pulling on my dress. I kneel beside them and the boy looks about three or four while the girl looks about six or seven. For a second I go to ask them what their names are until I look at their faces. The girl has the most gorgeous naturally icy platinum blonde hair and the boy has dark brown hair.

"Sky and Aspen?" I whisper. My niece and nephew.

"Are you Rowan? Are you my aunt? Daddy tells me so much about you and-" She starts to talk so fast her words jumble together and I don't understand anything she's saying. I look at Angel and she smiles brightly.

"I think she's just trying to say that she's glad to meet you," Ash chuckles. I stand, hugging Iris, Carnelian and then just making eye contact with Rainbow. Now it's time for what I've been nervous for. I turn and see Lachlan. He honestly hasn't even changed that much. His build has gotten stronger, his face has gotten a little older...he's shockingly the same. I take a step towards him and my heart aches. That's my Lachlan and I can't hug him. He stiffly holds out his hand for me to shake. I feel the deepest urge to slap him for doing something so bikking idiotic. Yes Lachlan, just pretend like we haven't met before, because that will solve all your problems.

"I'm Lachlan," He says and then I really do snap. I cock my hand back then slap him, taking out all of my built up aggression on him. He's always been an easy person to take my anger out on. Mostly cause he'll actually take it. Lachlan barely reacts to the slap but I swear I see a small smirk on his face.

"I know who the bik you are!" I say sternly. I've just started this dinner off well, haven't I? I expect awkward silence but to my surprise, he starts to laugh. Then I join in, then Rainbow, then all the rest. The whole room shares a strangle chuckle and I face the pale blonde woman sitting at the table. "What's your name?"

She moves a white, bony hand across her chest to push her thin, pin straight blond hair behind her shoulders. I can tell that she's not old. She might be in her early thirties but she has so many old qualities to her face like she's become worn down after the years. She has prominent frown lines and smile lines but I don't think I've ever seen such a miserable looking person. Still, she looks beautiful. Her complexion is more complicated than my emotions right now. Her sickly looking, thin white lips part and she says, "I'm Lily."