I sit up as soon as I gain consciousness. I see a woman who looks in her late twenties sitting in a chair next to me. She has soft brown hair, lenses, and what looks like dark blue veins coiling around her arms. They're not veins though. They're the faded and smudged reminiscent of her old tattoos.

"Lark? "I gasp, extending my hand to her, she takes it. "Is that you?"

"Yes," she says with a sad smile. "I look different, I know." I'm slightly taken aback by all the new change in her face but that doesn't truly matter to me. She's Lark. That's all that matters.

"What happened to you? What happened to everyone?" I ask, swinging my leg over the side of the bed and I'm still wearing the gauzy black robe.

"I'm guessing you want to know about Ash first." She raises her eyebrows. "Well, what's your first question?"

"Is he happy? Him and Angel, are they married? Just tell me everything!"

"Okay, well Ash and Angel are actually very happily married. Ash is very happy, he weaves baskets and helps Angel make cloth. Oh, but do you want to know the most exciting part of all of this? He has babies! Or, I guess they're not babies anymore, he has a daughter who is seven and a son who is three," she tells me and my eyes fill with tears.

"I'm an aunt?" She nods. "What are their names? Where's Ash? Let me see them!" I have so many questions and things running through my mind that I can hardly focus on one thought at a time.

"His daughter is named Sky and his boy is named Aspen," she says warmly and I can tell she is fond of them.

"Oh, let me see them," I demand desperately and it's so hard to imagine my baby brother as a father. I have to see them! All of them. It feels like everything is moving so slowly. Can't they understand how badly I need to know everything that has happened? I'm miserably impatient.

"You will see them soon Rowan, don't worry. You'll see them at dinner tonight."

"What dinner?" I ask.

"We're having a dinner in your honor, of course. Everyone who you were close with will be there," she says and my heart starts to beat wildly. "Your mom, Ash, Angel, their kids, Rook, Fern, their kids. A few others, Lachlan, and Ivory and I."

I ignored the uneasiness I feel in the pit of my stomach when she mentioned Lachlan's name and I press on. "Who is Ivory?"

"She's..." Lark's voice seems to fade and I see guilt on her face. "She is my wife."

I sharply inhale and it almost comes out as a wince. Of course. How could a woman as amazing as my Lark not be married after twelve years? I feel a pressure on the back of my eyes and I try to hold back the tears. And Lachlan? I'm sure his charming smirk has been met by another set of lips by now. I don't say that though. I wouldn't be able to bear it right now.

"Oh," I whisper softly and it's hardly audible. "Well, that – that..."

"Oh Rowan I'm sorry for being so direct, I just didn't know how to say it," Lark apologizes.

"Tell me about her. Tell me about how you've been last twelve years," I say, wiping away a tear. That's not what I want to say though. I don't want to accept it. I want to scream and cry and shout, how the bik could she leave me while I was busy sacrificing everything for twelve years, but I know that that wouldn't be fair. I know that she deserves happiness and if Ivory makes her happy then I won't protest. It's not as if my opinion on her marriage would matter anyway.

"I went through a hard time when you went away," Lark admits. "I thought I would never move on. I thought I would never be happy again. About five years after it all happened I just felt so angry. I didn't want to cling to your memory anymore, that didn't matter anymore. I just wanted to be happy. It was around that time that I met Ivory." She lets out a sigh. "Ivory and I were friends for a few years but we've been together for three... I just needed to feel happy. I hope you understand. I can't imagine what this must feel like for you, being thrown back into your life after twelve years. Has any time even passed for you?"

"No," I say shaking my head, wiping a tear. I want to weep endlessly but I take a deep breath and force myself to feel numb. "And Lachlan? What happened to him?" I brace myself, prepared for the worst.

"Well, that's too complicated to say." Lark chuckles. "What isn't complicated about that man? After you became the EcoPan Lachlan and I became good friends and I got to know a lot about him. He became the ambassador and... I would never imply that he went through more pain than me but he clings to his pain in a way other people don't. Instead of allowing himself to move on and be happy, he clung to you, convincing himself that letting go would be a betrayal. Nevertheless, he needed comfort without love, and that's when he met Lily. She lost her boyfriend to the war too and they both pretty much had the agreement that they get already met the love of their life. They had already lost the love of their life. They weren't looking for love and I don't think anyone would consider their relationship loving... they keep each other company. They've been together for about ten years, but to tell you the truth, Lachlan never recovered from that day. And he despises the EcoPan. Lily never recovered from her boyfriend's death, they aren't in love Rowan."

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" I ask. "Lachlan settled for a woman just because he was lonely, that doesn't make me feel better at all!"

"I know," Lark says, taking my hand and I put away. "What I'm trying to tell you is that as someone who Lachlan has known and trusted a lot in the last twelve years, I can tell you most of him was lost after you became the EcoPan, and I can also tell you it isn't gone forever. I think you can still win his heart, Rowan. So much of him still loves you."

"And what will happen to Lily?" I scoff.

"Rowan, Lily and Lachlan don't truly love each other. Regardless, I'm just trying to comfort you. You should know that not all that much has changed –"

"Yes, it has!" I shout, sitting up, facing her. "I haven't even seen them yet and I know everything has changed." I feel bad for yelling at Lark, it isn't her fault. I'm just taking out the confusion and fear on her. Still, I persist. "Nothing will ever be the same, will it? Just like before you think that-"

"Am I interrupting?" A young woman, maybe a year or two younger than me is in the doorway. Snapping back into reality, I look around at my surroundings. I'm in a large stone room with a built-in fireplace straight ahead of me. There's a lavish table to my right, a small sitting area to my left, and a large wardrobe next to the king size four poster bed. I'm definitely on the top floor. "I'm here to get you ready for the dinner in a few hours." There something disturbingly familiar about the young woman.

"Of course," Lark says standing up with a deep breath. "Have at her."

"Come," is all she says, gesturing to the vanity. I push a white fur blanket off of me and sit at the vanity, the robe hanging loosely around me. She takes a brush and starts to brush out my dark hair for me. It's soothing and I want to close my eyes, relaxing, but there's something so familiar about her that I can't help but stare at her. She has flowing blonde hair, large colorful eyes, a button nose, and rosy cheeks. She starts to put the top half of my hair in complicated braids, pinning them to my scalp. "Are you staring at me because I look familiar?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare it's just that... Yeah, you look familiar," I admit. "That's highly unlikely though, considering you could only have been four or five when I became the EcoPan."

"I was five," she says and she puts another pin in my hair. She puts this one in my hair so forcefully it scrapes my scalp and I wince, she doesn't even mutter an apology. "I'm just surprised you remember me at all to tell you the truth."

"What's your name?" I ask. She looks up at me in the mirror and it looks as if her eyes are burning into mine. I swear I see a bit of anger behind those eyes.

"Rainbow," she says dryly. I gasp, realizing where I know her from. "Remember me now?"

"Rainbow? Oh, is that really you? Oh, how you've grown!" I try to stand up to face her but she puts a hand on my shoulder, forcing in another pin, and I get the impression she doesn't want me standing. "Do you even remember me?"

"A little. I didn't really remember you, more of the impact you had. I remember the first time you were away, Lachlan being a bit buggy. His eyes darting around, him skipping meals, occasionally just walking right past us. I remember the second time you went away, he went away too. The next time I saw him he spoke of the forest, that's something I'll never forget, even after all these years. And the third time you went away... Lachlan never truly came back, did he?" She asks and I think I see tears in her eyes. "I was too young to understand what had happened. All I knew was that I lived in a forest and for some reason, Lachlan couldn't seem to remember how to smile." She closes her eyes, swallowing hard. "He was like a father to me and I suddenly I lost him. He didn't drop us, he tried, really he did, he just couldn't do it. He just wasn't our same Lach and... After a while... He was just so empty. So gone. He still is."

"I'm so sorry," I whisper. "I would have done anything to make him happy-"

"Except stay," she quips and I'm shocked by the sudden venom in her.

"Rainbow you –"

"As I said before," she interrupts me. "I couldn't understand what was happening or who to blame. I didn't realize that it was your fault, I didn't realize that it was a decision that you made to leave him, to leave all of us. Do you even care? You get make-believe every day that you're some type of hero, that you're so selfless. No, I'm not falling for that like all these other tee-zak's. And you sure as bik can't come back after all this time and expect forgiveness. You destroyed lives, you bitch!" I go to say something but her hand cocks back and I'm met with a terrible slap to the cheek. "You destroyed him!" I think she goes to slap me again but another young voice calls out.

"Rainbow! That's enough, you need to leave." I look, my cheek throbbing, and see young Rowan standing in the doorway. Rainbow huffs, glaring at me but chooses her battles. She storms out of the door and Rowan closes the door behind her. "I'm sorry about her."

Suddenly, I burst in the sob. Oh earth, she's right, isn't she? I know that becoming the EcoPan was the right decision, but coming back? I know I put some people through hell, Lachlan more than anybody, and I think now I'm starting to realize that I shouldn't have come back. I feel thin arms around me and let Rowan comfort me.

"I shouldn't have come back," I weep and I feel Rowan squeeze me tighter.

She said, "no, I think in time you'll find that you're exactly where you're supposed to be."