《Wings ↻ Zhong Chenle》↻41

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The air was temporarily knocked out of her lungs as she gripped onto Chenle who stumbled back a few steps away from the edge whilst she was still latched onto him.

Her breaths were laboured, distressed as she couldn't hear properly- all sound cut and she was unable to make out reality.

Is that how he felt?

Did he feel the wind blowing past him as he continued to accelerate to his demise?

Was he at ease? Did he accept it?

She couldn't help the feeling of bile grow in her throat as tears coated her eyes, unable to bring herself to tear away from the boy who's hands were against her back.

"Do you think dying is scary?" She whispered out, turning her head so her cheek was against the cold texture of his jacket yet she stared out at the brightly shining moon contrasting in the bleak sky.

Chenle didn't speak for a moment, his mind flashing back to her terrified wide eyes as he watched her die.

"It depends." He finally spoke.

Seowoo tore out of her trance, glancing up at him yet their heights were quite a distance away.

He wasn't looking down at her, instead he was looking out at the scenery.

"Some people are scared to live, some are scared to die- you can let go now." He spoke, his arms falling from her back.

His hands clasped over hers, pulling her hands off of him and stepping away and Seowoo's eyes followed him.

"What about you, which one are you scared of?"

"I'm not scared of anything." He spoke nonchalantly, his cold tone making the girl sigh.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm not alive."

"Well, you are so," Chenle replied with his brows raised.

"No I mean...like I don't feel the same anymore like I feel as though life is just in repeat and I don't feel like continuing. I don't know my purpose anymore you know?"

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"No, I don't really care either."

"Yeah, I know." She said, shoulders slumping slightly as she turned to look out at the view.

There was a silence as Chenle sat on the wall that was low enough to sit on, his back exposed to the heightened drop behind him.

Seowoo stood at the side where there was no wall yet a fair distance away from the edge.

"Everyone has a purpose, you just have to find it." He spoke after a long pause.

"Have you found yours?" She asked.

Chenle let out a bitter chuckle, looking down at the ground as his hair fell over his eyes.

"Mine was made for me before I was even born."

"What do you mean?"

"My purpose is to be exactly like my Father."

"Emotions make you weak, are you listening you bastard?"

"Stop smiling."

"Don't laugh."

"You have no time to have fun."

"Don't ever get attached to anyone."

"Being nice makes you weak."

"If you're weak then they'll prey on you again."

"If you're weak you'll die and so will the ones who you love."

"Chenle?"

The boy snapped his head up, pulling himself out of his state of thought, Seowoo standing near to him as she looked at him in worry.

"What?" He asked stoic.

"You don't have to be like him...I mean I don't know him but you should be yourself-"

"Yeah, you don't know him- so just shut up."

His angry tone and sudden harsh words made Seowoo halt her words, surprised yet not so surprised.

She wondered if she would ever get to know the boy behind the façade.

Chenle closed his eyes, letting out a harsh sigh as he could feel the rage from his Father coursing through his veins.

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"Do you really hate me that much or are you pushing me away?"

Her words made the boy open his eyes, creating eye contact with her as she expectantly stared at him.

"You said you're not scared of anything but I think that's a lie."

"You don't know anything."

"Maybe I don't but I know when someone has been hurting for so long that they push people away." Seowoo spoke, her voice carrying through the semi tense air.

Chenle scoffed in irritation, clenching his jaw as he pushed himself off the wall and began walking towards her slowly.

"Stop assuming shit you have no idea about."

"So you aren't hurting then? You're perfectly fine?" She raised her brows.

She was riling him up and she knew that.

"Shut up, you're fucking annoying."

"You said it's not about trying to escape and that you should learn to survive in it." She recalled.

Chenle didn't speak, standing in front of her as she eyed him- trying to get past the barrier he held up which guarded him.

"Is that how you feel?"

"What, are we playing therapist now?" He mocked.

"No, I just want to..."

"Want to what? Find out what makes me break and use it against me? Yeah, good luck." He commented, turning and walking away.

"I just want to be there for you, is that such a bad thing?"

He stopped.

"You want to 'be there for me' what am I, your friend?"

"I mean we have to work together on missions and-"

"Work together? Yeah more like me saving you from getting killed. Even with training you're incompetent, go be there for your school friends. You can't fucking kill anyone yourself because of-" his words halted.

Seowoo's tongue poked the side of her cheek as she felt the familiar hurt flash through her.

"You're a dick." She almost whispered out, tone wavering as hurt angry tears sprung to her eyes.

His back was still facing her as she took strides towards him.

Seowoo grabbed the bag from the floor harshly.

"At least I can acknowledge my faults but you're just, you have no guilt or fucking empathy. You don't even understand how I feel." She spat out, fist clenched over the bag strap.

"You have to make others feel miserable too don't you, that's how you feel better about yourself." She spoke again, glancing at him but he had not a single expression on his face.

He contrasted the girl who harshly wiped her tears away.

"I might not be able to take someone's life but this is the only thing I can do before I give up on everything I have. It hurts, I'm hurt and you just throw it all in my face so congratulations- you were right," she began to walk towards the stairs.

"There's no point in me trying."

I mean it didn't really have to escalate but we love a bit of tea

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