Adults say that we have it so easy

They say I'm on my way to happiness

Then how do you explain my unhappiness?

"Do you ever smile?"

Seowoo gazed at the boy who sat across from her as he scrolled through his phone- lounging on the sofa.

"Do you ever shut up?"

"You're still so rude to me, I should have decked you in the face when I had the chance."

"Do it, nothing is stopping you." He shrugged nonchalantly.

She clicked her tongue whilst rolling her eyes.

"You're so infuriating."

"Yeah and you get angry easily."

"No I don't!" She exclaimed defensively and Chenle glanced up from his screen with a deadpanned look.

"Okay, maybe I do- besides the point- you know it wouldn't hurt to smile right?"

"Too much effort."

"But it really isn't is it." She retorted.

"Can you shut up, I can't hear myself think clearly- you're so damn annoying." He muttered harshly, eyes staring into his screen with a visible irritated expression and tense jaw.

"Sorry, just wanted to make conversation..."

Seowoo got up from the sofa and dragged her feet over to the kitchen- the whole area was open plan so there wasn't much effort required to navigate her way.

There was a silence that consumed as Chenle glanced up at her dejected tone to see her walking away to the kitchen.

The air fell to a deafening silence as she sat herself down on the kitchen isle, back facing the boy who pushed away the slight glimmer of guilt.

Seowoo was staring into space, often immersed in thoughts to even notice her surroundings, drifting in and out of what was reality and what was mere memories.

Unable to distinguish the two from time to time.

Her phone screen flashed, glancing down at it and lethargically accepting the facetime call from Haewon.

She was panic stricken, gulping down the lump in her throat caused by the information she gained.

"Seowoo," Haewon almost choked out in a frenzy, gaining her attention.

"What's wrong, did something happen?" Seowoo asked immediately worried.

"I... Seowoo listen to me okay? Just listen before you do anything."

"Okay..."

Haewon bit down on her bottom lip, debating as Seowoo looked at her expectantly, curious.

"That night- he...fuck-"

"What?"

"Seowoo he knew he was going to die."

As soon as Haewon said that, Seowoo's face fell- a hurricane of the trauma she so desperately tried to push away began to swirl around her.

Trapping it in its merciless winds as it began to encase her in its demise.

"I'm not sure why he took you if he knew but I was checking the CCTV and he brought the necklace in a hurry and it doesn't make sense why he'd quickly erase everything from his files either."

Seowoo didn't reply but Haewon hesitated to continue.

"There's more to it than a ruthless murder, maybe you should step down from trying to figure it out. You will only hurt yourself more and it might be better not knowing-"

The sound of the chair scraping back screeched through the air, cutting Haewon off.

"Seowoo?" Haewon asked but she gained no reply as the said girl began to stride across the room in a hurry.

Unable to keep her composure as she could feel the sickening twisted emotions begin to rise again.

"Where are we going?"

"Don't you remember? We said we'd go star gazing, it's in our bucket list silly."

It felt as though her pulse was amplified behind her ears, thumping bass in sync with the turmoil she began to fall into.

Chenle caught sight of her completely broken face as she exited the room, leaving her phone unattended on the counter as she escaped the claws of her worst enemy.

↻

She was leaning against the railing of the bridge- overlooking the ocean where the waves crashed against each other get clashed and attempted to repel the forces that brought them closer.

Seowoo felt like that, she felt the grips of the trauma of that night pulling her down into the abyssal as she flailed around to stay afloat.

Arms against the cool metal, head placed on top of her arms- looking off to the side of the ocean as she forced herself to breathe calmly.

"You are likely to be experiencing panic attacks Seowoo, it's common for trauma patients to have these after occurrences that are too much for the person to handle-"

"I don't have trauma- I'm fine."

"Seowoo...darling you need to let yourself grieve, it takes time to heal."

But could time heal her?

Would she ever heal from this?

She closed her eyes, letting the sounds of the waves crashing fill the salty scented air as cool gusts of wind blew against her.

"You seem to always be deep in thought."

Seowoo's eyes snapped open at the sound of his voice, startling her as she stood up straight from her position.

She saw Chenle standing not too far from her, his back against the railing as he gazed at the neon lights opposite the ocean.

The lights illuminated onto his skin and Seowoo was partially confused as to why he was here.

He tilted his head to the side, glancing at the girl who's eyes glimmered in the pain she pushed so deep down- her lips curving down.

"You left your phone and your friend told me to find you." He explained nonchalantly, handing the phone back to her.

Seowoo looked down at it before reaching out to grab it.

"Thanks." Her voice lacked the usual 'annoying' teasing tone or happiness- instead it was bleak and numbing.

There was a silence as she remained looking out to sea, watching the moon glisten in the sky.

"Is that why you want to join the gang?" He asked after a while, eyeing her to see her response.

She nodded, teeth grazing lightly at her bottom lip.

"You're right, I'm just being stupid- there's no point trying."

Chenle was unsure of what to say, feeling slightly awkward and uncomfortable as he had never been in the position he was in before.

"I mean, out of all the people you probably shouldn't listen to me." He shrugged, turning around to face the calming ocean, waves crashing in sync.

"I'm just...I can't even defend myself properly I don't know why I keep doing it."

"You're still training." He spoke indifferently.

Seowoo sighed, leaning her chin on her arms as the wind blew through her hair, his eyes flickering down to her somber aura.

It was if she had turned into a completely different person, stripped of the façade she tended to upkeep.

"Do you ever want all of it to stop, like not life but just some things in life- to escape it." She spoke as she trained her eyes on the water.

His hands clasped the metal bar as he turned his head to gaze at the sea too.

"Sometimes it's not about escaping, it's about learning to survive in it."

In surprise at his serious words, Seowoo flickered her eyes up at him.

"What if it's impossible to survive in it and it's too much to handle though, not everyone is strong enough to."

"Do you not want to survive?" He asked with a brow raised despite his eyes flickering between hers to decipher what she was thinking.

She let out a breathy laugh, tearing her eyes away from him.

"Sometimes I feel like I died with him."

"Who was he?"

"My brother, Jeongmin...he was everything I wanted to be to be honest but looks like I'm doing the complete opposite- and now I'm rambling but yeah my brother."

Chenle was silent after she spoke, mulling on his own thoughts- dazed over eyes.

"Why are you trying to find his killers- isn't it better to not have anything to do with them?"

She let out a soft sigh.

"All I ever do is run away from my problems but when it comes to him- I can't just run away from him. I'll do whatever it takes to find those men."

"Even if you get hurt?" He cocked up his eyebrows in rememberance of her stab wound.

"Call me sadistic but it was nice to feel pain- you know like... nevermind." She shook her head, glancing at her phone to the time as she mentally noted she should head home.

"Like you've been hurting for so long that it stops hurting?"

Dude they had a civil conversation omg

What do you think should happen ;)