《Into the Dark (Completed)》Chapter 25
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"Welcome back to the land of the living, Ms. Ludwig." I looked around the white room. I could tell where I was just by the smell.
I tried to turn my head, but I couldn't.
"Calm down, you're both okay. You broke your neck. You brace is what is stopping you from moving your head. You have bruises covering more than 75% of your body, but we patched you all up. They'll go away in time." A man in a white coat stood over me. He smiled brightly.
"B-both?" Was Tate here? What happened in that warehouse?
"Yes, you and the baby." He nodded. "It truly is a miracle. You really have a little fighter in there."
Wait, what?
I quickly did the math in my head. It has been just over three months since my drunken night with Tate.
One night. That's all it took.
I knew I gained a little weight, but I just thought it was too many late-night pizza rolls.
"You didn't know?" The doctor looked shocked.
"N-no." I rasped out.
He rested his hand on my shoulder. "Well, I think that baby is your little guardian angel. How's that for a little incentive to get better?"
My baby. My reason for living.
"There's a young man in the waiting room. We couldn't let him in because he's not family. He said his name is Wally."
Wall-e. Tate.
I don't know exactly what happened in that warehouse. Maybe the memories will come back to me, maybe they won't, but I do know that Tate betrayed me.
I cleared my throat. "Not now. Send him home."
"I'll have one of the nurses let him know that you do not want any visitors right now." He made some notes on a clipboard, adjusted my pain medication, and left.
I'm pregnant.
What the fuck? I can't be a mother. I don't know how! How will I support a child in college? I have no help! My mother disappeared. My father – the sound of a bang and a body hitting the floor flashed through my mind. My father is dead.
And my best friend betrayed me.
My baby daddy is in a gang. All my friends are in a gang.
I thought about adoption for a second, but mentally shook my head. It may be selfish, but this baby is mine.
I reached down and felt the slight swell of my stomach. Just like that, I calmed down. I don't know what the future has in store for me, but somehow, I know it is going to be okay.
*
I was let out of the hospital the next morning. Four weeks after that, my bruises were healed. My neck will still be in a brace for at least four more weeks, but today is a big day.
After I got home from the hospital, I was on bedrest for a couple days. I used those days to catch up on my schoolwork and work on extra credit assignments. Once my guidance counselor saw my bruises, she let me finish out the school year at home.
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I took my work seriously because I need to have at least a 2.0 GPA to get into community college.
After weeks of hard work and healing, it is finally graduation day.
I haven't seen Tate since that night in the warehouse. He's tried to stop by, but I was not ready to talk to him yet. Today, he's going to find out that he's going to be a father.
My baby bump still wasn't that big. With my white graduation gown over top, you wouldn't even notice that I'm carrying a child in my uterus.
I looked at myself in the floor length mirror in my childhood bedroom. Boxes covered nearly ever surface in my house. Most of which would end up getting donated to m local shelter and Goodwill store.
"Are you proud of me?" I asked aloud, a hand on my stomach.
My doorbell rang.
I opened the door to see Margret's aging face. Her eyes were already watering. "You look beautiful, Luna. Are you ready to go?"
I nodded and followed her out to her car.
A person may wonder why my landlord was taking me to my gradation and the truth is, she's been my rock these last couple weeks. She helped me pack up the house and made sure that I was taking care of myself, my body, and my baby. I would not have been able to not only catch up on my schoolwork, but get ready to move and let my body heal without her. She had also been there for my emotionally. My hormones have been out of control. I went from someone who is clingy, but definitely not emotional, to crying because my birdfeeder was out of seeds.
She pulled in front of my old high school. "I'll be in the bleachers cheering you on."
I thanked her and went inside to line up with the other graduates.
It did not bother me as much as it should of that she was the only person attending my graduation for me. I am sad that my father is dead and that my mother still hasn't shown her face in Jenson, but it is what it is. The only person I need is still in my body.
"Luna." Tate breathed from behind me. I jumped and instinctively reached for my stomach.
I turned around and looked at him.
His black hair was slightly more tamed than normal. His emerald green eyes felt like they were staring into my soul. He's way too intense. Would he notice my weight gain? He probably thinks I look ugly in my neck brace.
"How are you?" He asked when I didn't say anything.
"Pregnant." I blurted out.
Well, that's one way to say it.
His eyes widened. "Huh?"
"Yeah." I awkwardly looked away. "Congrats."
"Wait, it's mine?"
"Yeah." I looked up at the ceiling to avoid his gaze.
"Luna–"
"I need everyone to get into alphabetical order!" A voice boomed over the loudspeaker. "We need to do this in an orderly fashion. Find your homeroom teachers and we'll go from there."
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I quickly walked away from Tate. Was I being cowardly? Yes. Did Tate deserve to find out somewhere where we could sit and talk about the future? Probably.
But the reality is, Tate and I are going to be parents in four months. Co-parents.
If he even wants to be in our baby's life.
*
My graduation ceremony was boring and drawn out. I sat through at least five different speaches that told us that "We were the future" blah, blah, blah.
I was excited at first, but I'm over it.
Tate was sitting across the gym in the guys' section. He hasn't taken his eyes off me in at least twenty minutes.
I lined up at the end of the stage. "Luna Ludwig."
I walked up the stairs carefully. I knew that people were watching me. They were probably all wondering what happened to me. Just imagine the questions that they would have if they knew I was pregnant as well. Or if they saw me only a couple weeks ago covered in bruises.
I grabbed my diploma from my guidance counselor and shook my principal's hand.
It was bitter sweet. The end of a chapter in my life.
I sat back down in my seat and zoned out for the rest of the names.
"I now present to you, the class of 2017!"
I smiled to myself and threw my cap in the air.
It took about three seconds to realize what I just did. I can't look side to side to find it. Even if I do manage to find it, I can't really reach down to pick it up.
Well, crap.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and my cap was handed to me.
"Hi, Jackson."
He smiled sheepishly. "Hey. How's the neck?"
I could tell that he knew what happened in the warehouse. He probably knew more than I did.
At this point, I don't think I want to know how it all played out. I don't want anything to do with that life anymore.
"Healing. It's just going to be a pain until I can get this stupid brace off."
"Want to go get coffee or something?" He asked, biting his lip nervously.
I tried to shake my head. It did not work out well. "I don't think that is a good idea."
"I just wanted to let you know that I got accepted into Florida State University."
I smiled sadly. "You're leaving."
"I don't want you to think that I'm abandoning you again. I just need to make a better, more honest, life for myself." He explained.
"It's okay, Jackson." A tear slipped down my face. "I really am happy for you. Good luck."
Jackson tried to tell me that we'd keep in touch. I agreed with him, but I know that our friendship is over. Things were never the same when he come back to Jensen anyway. He deserves to live his own life. Plus, he's leaving his gang.
Tate walked up to us. "I need to talk to her."
Jackson nodded and walked away.
"You're having my baby."
I thought that I made that clear. "Yeah. October 3rd is the due date."
He grabbed my hand and led me to an empty section of the bleachers. "When did you find out?"
"After the warehouse." I admitted. "I was always going to tell you, but I just needed time to accept it first." I looked down, slightly ashamed.
He grabbed my chin and tilted my face up. "Luna, I'm in love with you."
"No." I reached up and pulled his hand away. "I don't think you are."
He clenched his jaw. "I know how I feel. I swear I did not do anything with Marie. She just wanted it to look like there was something there. I had to infiltrate that gang. It was my assignment."
"I don't care about any of that. You don't know me Tate. I've changed a lot since our Netflix nights." I explained. "We never even really dated."
"Because you wouldn't let me take you out. I'm guessing you aren't going to marry me right away." Hell no. "But we can date. I want to be in both you and our baby's lives. I want us to live together and be a family."
I sighed. "Are you going to leave the gang?"
"No." He answered quickly. "That is out of the question. They are my family, too."
I knew that was going to be his answer, but I couldn't help but feel crushed. "My dad was a gang leader. He fucked me up emotionally, and now he's in the ground. I won't have my child growing up in that environment."
"I am not your father, Luna. There are plenty of guys in gangs who have happy, healthy families."
"No. I won't keep you from our baby's life, but I can't be with someone who lives in a violent environment. We'll set up visitation rules through a lawyer, and if any of your illegal business happens while our baby is under your care, I will get a restraining order." It hurt me to say that, but my life is not my own anymore. My life is my child's. I will do whatever I have to do to ensure that my baby is safe.
"Luna." His voice broke. "I love you."
"You love your gang, Tate. I'll text you the details of my next doctor's appointment. Show up if you want or don't. It's up to you."
I stood up and left him to sit there. He needs to think about what he wants in life. Do I care for Tate? Yes. Do I wish that he would leave that life behind and walk into the sunset with me? Yeah, I do.
But I need to let Tate go, so maybe one day, he'll come back to me.
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