"Please let me do your makeup!" I whined pleadingly. We've been through this before. Let me tell you what happened about 5 minutes ago. Ryder and I were sitting on the couch trying to think of a reward since I won UNO, I know right. *Does a hair slip*. And I told him I wanted to do his makeup. And since then, we're arguing about why he should let me do it. "Ryder Rodriguez Parker! You are the one who said I get to choose my reward. Now I chose it and you're not letting me do it!" I whined and screamed in irritation and annoyance like a diva. Oops.

"What is it with you and doing my makeup? What is so intriguing about it?" he huffed as he tried to get out of my room but I pulled him away from the door and locked it shut. "You can either let me do your makeup now, or I can do it in your sleep. And I know you're gonna say you just won't sleep but we both know that's not what's gonna happen. You will knock out and you are such a deep sleeper that you won't even know what's going on." I huffed while I ran up to my window and locked it before he reached it. "Baby, please don't do this to me." he complained. I tried not to go soft when he called me 'baby' and it took a lot to stand my ground. "Fine." I paused when I heard him let out a sigh of relief. "But then don't talk to me the rest of the night." I folded my arms across my chest as I grabbed a book and sat against my headboard on my bed.

"No, babe. Baby, babe please." he spoke quickly while he crawled into bed next to me and tried to get me to talk to him and respond to anything that he said, but I didn't budge. "Fine." he sighed. "You can do my makeup." he gave up in defeat, making my eyes snap to his and a grin make its way to my face. "Really?" I asked in disbelief. I actually didn't think he would agree to let me do it, I thought he would find a way to convince me to think of another reward. Hmm, I guess I hold more power over him than I thought. "If it makes you happy, then sure." he nodded before grabbed my hand and pulling me up to my feet.

"Let's get this over with shall we?" he asked as he pulled me into the bathroom and hoisted me up on the counter, while he stood between my legs and handed me my makeup bag. "Here you go, what are you gonna start with? Do you need to start with moisturizer? I did put some on in the morning but I don't know anything about makeup so I wouldn't know if-" he was rambling but I cut him off and pressed my lips to his. He hates makeup. He's had it on once. And the one time he had it on, I did it for him, and it was to hide bruises. He literally just hates makeup and if someone asked, he couldn't tell them the reason because truth be told, he didn't have one. He didn't like me wearing it either. And yes, it was a small gesture, a very small gesture but it still mattered to me. A lot.

"Let's just not do your makeup." I shook my head while he rested his hands on my thighs while mine were cupping his face. "Do you want another reward now?" he asked confused. I just shook my head, "I got my reward." I smiled. He still had his confused expression on his face before he narrowed his eyes down at me. "Was that some test?" he questioned. What the-?

"Huh?" I asked extremely confused and absolutely clueless as to what the hell he was talking about. "I'm not a fool. You've tested me in the past to see how good of a boyfriend I am or will be. Was this one of those little stunts that you pull?" he pouted as he took my hands away from his face and held them in his. "If it was, did I pass?" he asked curiously with hope glimmering in his eyes. "You did. You passed. Even though it wasn't a test, you passed." I placed his arms around my waist. "So you are gonna talk to me for the rest of the night?" he asked me pleadingly.

"Didn't we just establish that a second ago? Through the kiss and makeup?" haha get it? We just had a thing with makeup and I said kiss and makeup? God I'm hilarious.

"Haha, you're so funny." he said with sarcasm evident in his tone and words, making me laugh a little. "I know right." I sassed before slipping my hair over my shoulder, exaggerating the action.

I really wanna do something right now that doesn't exactly suit our current situation with everything going on with Shane, Jeremy and Charles because I know it could lead to a lot of collateral damage. Maybe that was an exaggeration but it could still lead to a lot of damage and it would put a lot of lives at risk but- I want to ask Ryder to be my boyfriend. And I know! I know we decided not to be together for the sake of everyone involved in this sad excuse of a mess but, how the hell am I not supposed to want him to be mine with every moment that we spend together? He's always willing to make changes, for me.

He's always willing to go out of his way to make sure everything is ok, for me. He's willing to become a whole different person on so many occasions and it's all for me. And I know if I ask him, it only really just puts a title to our relationship but that title is what gives me assurity that we're real. That I have him. That I'm not just a burden to him because that's all I am to a lot of people. Or at least it feels like it. Even when it comes to my own parents. Don't get me wrong, they're amazing and they love me, but sometimes it just doesn't feel that way. And I know I have friends too, who also love me and care for me but again, sometimes it just doesn't feel that way.

Ryder is the one person who I'll always believe without hesitation when he says he loves me and cares for me. Maybe it's because he's risked his life for me, maybe it's because he's been there for me when no one has, for all I know, maybe it's because he's my soulmate. But I can't ever let him go. Maybe I won't even end up with him, maybe when I'm 30 and happily married with a kid, it won't be him that I wake up to every morning. Maybe he's not my soulmate. For all I know, in some time, he could just be a stranger with all my secrets. The problem is, I don't want that! And if it were to happen, I wouldn't be ok with it! "Hello!" he waved his hand in front of my face, making me snap out of my thoughts. Does he feel that way though? The voice in my head asked me. "Sorry, what?" I asked confused since my thoughts managed to pull me away for a little bit. You know how there's always one person in a relationship who loves the other more? It's true, whether we like it or not. I think in this one, it's me. And that is not good for my heart.

Why? Because I see myself with him. When I'm 80 and I'm lying on my deathbed, I see myself smiling at the thought of him being my first and last love. When I'm 30, I see myself waking up to him every morning. I see myself having a family with him, having kids with him even though we both say we don't want kids. I only see this with him and I don't think I can ever see this with someone else. Yes, I'm a 16 year old kid, but this all I've ever known love to be. So to me from my 16 years of life, I am in love with him and he is my soulmate. "Mia Rose Stewart, will you be my girlfriend?" those words snapped me out of my mini coma and I was suddenly running out of air for my lungs. "I'm sorry I didn't put as much thought into this as I should have and I know we decided not to get together for now, for everyone involved in this mess. But I love you too much to not be able to call you mine. So will you?" he asked softly.

Maybe I'm not the one who loves more. "Yes." I breathed before smashing my lips on his.

Maybe we both just love too much.

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