"I don't think I can do this..." No way were you gonna be able to hide the nervousness in your voice, especially not from your best friend.

"Come on, (Y/N). You've been talking about getting a tattoo for ages, now is the time! I promised you a birthday surprise and this is it. I'm paying for the tattoo AND I'm here for moral support, you can totally do this." Nat was practically dragging you down the street as you began to feel more and more anxious about what was about to happen.

Before you had time to protest again she had yanked you inside a small tattoo shop. The first thing you noticed was how bright it was. You heard classic rock pumping out of some speakers off to the side but it did little to distract you from the constant buzzing sound that in your head seemed to be getting louder and louder with each passing second. Glancing around you saw several people with varying degrees of ink on display, both giving and receiving tattoos and having multiple conversations. The buzzing sound was getting louder and you felt your chest tightening, it was getting harder and harder to catch your breath. Just before you turned and shot out the door you had the vague sense of someone asking Nat if you were okay.

You slumped down just out of sight around the corner of the building in a dim alleyway, eyes shut tight, attempting to regulate your breathing. You focused on the feel of the bricks digging into your back, the sound of traffic passing by, the smell of the bakery next door. "(Y/N)?" You felt Nat squat down next to you and place a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

Tears began to prick behind your eyelids. "I'm so sorry..." you groaned in frustration. "I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I embarrassed myself and you in front of all those people."

"Oh sweetie, it's fine. I'm sure most of them didn't even notice and the guy I was talking to said this sort of thing happens all the time." She leans in to hug you. "I'm the one who should be sorry for pushing you when you clearly weren't ready. Just promise me that you won't give up on the idea? I know when you're ready you're going to be so glad you did it."

You opened your eyes and pulled back to give her a watery smile. "Alright, I won't totally abandon the idea."

"Good," Nat smiled back. "Now, how about we take that tattoo money and spend it on margaritas and pedicures?"

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You attempted to blow a stray lock of hair out of your eyes as you struggled through the lobby door of your new apartment building. Most of the move had happened over your birthday weekend but a few boxes still lingered at your old place. Thankfully, you were currently holding the last box, the one that made it official.

You looked up to see the elevator doors beginning to close. "Noooo! No, no, no, no, no," you chanted to yourself as you shuffled quickly towards the elevator. At the last possible second a hand stuck out to grab the door, pulling it back open and you hurried inside.

"Oh my gosh thank you so much," you blurted in a rush, adjusting your hold on the box.

"Sure thing," a gorgeous male voice drawled out next to you. "Need any help with that?"

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to do that..."

"Really, it's no trouble," said your elevator savior as he lifted the box right out of your hands.

"Thank you," you blushed slightly glancing his way hoping he didn't see but his face was mostly hidden by the contents of the box. You went to press the button for your floor only to find it already lit up. "Oh, we must live on the same floor!"

"Well, that'll make delivering this box even more convenient," your mystery man said. "I'm in 4b. You?"

"4a. I just moved in last weekend."

"That explains why I didn't see you. I worked a couple extra shifts last weekend."

The elevator dinged and you led the way as the doors opened, quickly unlocking your door and kicking some empty boxes out of the way. "You can set it right here, um... hey, I don't even know your name yet!"

"It's James. But my friends and neighbors call me Bucky."

He turns and you finally get a good look at him. Dark hair, kind eyes, well built... Your eyes are drawn to his left arm which is completely covered in beautiful and intricate tattoos from his wrist to past where his sleeve covered his arm. You suddenly realized you were reaching toward them when you caught yourself, blushing. "Um, sorry, I'm (Y/N). Thank you so much for carrying that in for me."

"Like I said, (Y/N), it was no trouble," he said with a lopsided smile. "Sorry, this is totally gonna sound like a cheesy line but you look really familiar... are you sure we've never met?"

"Um, I don't think so. Maybe you've just seen me around the neighborhood?"

"Maybe... but I'm pretty good with faces, it'll come to me eventually... Well, it was good to meet you neighbor. Guess I'll see you around?"

"Y-yeah, for sure," you stuttered as Bucky turned to walk away. In a moment of uncharacteristic boldness you called out, "Hey, do you want to grab a coffee or something sometime? I really do owe you one..."

Bucky flashed you another gorgeous smile. "I'd like that. Tomorrow morning okay? I always stop at that coffee place on the corner on my way to work."

"Works for me." You couldn't help the grin that spread across your face.

"It's a date. I'll come by around 8:00. See you then." With wink and a smile he was gone.

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Bucky held open the door to the coffee shop as you slipped through and fell into step beside him. From the moment you saw his face that morning you felt at ease, all your nervousness gone by the time you had ordered your drinks. He was funny, kind, easy on the eyes, and it didn't hurt that he let you do most of the talking, asking you questions about your life, your job, and your friends. You probably wouldn't admit to dragging your feet but you really didn't want your time together to come to an end.

"Well, this is me," Bucky came to a stop in front of a vaguely familiar storefront.

"Y-you work here?" Looking up you came to the chilling realization that this was the very same tattoo shop that you had run from the previous weekend.

"Actually, I... whoa, hey are you okay?" Bucky's eyebrows furrowed as he turned toward you and saw the terrified look on your face. You turned your gaze toward him just in time to see his concerned look transform into one of recognition. "It's you! I knew I'd seen you before. You're the girl that ran out of my shop last weekend!"

You covered your face with your hands, attempting to hide the flame of embarrassment creeping into your cheeks. The only thing that stopped you from bolting was the feeling of Bucky gently taking you by the arm.

"(Y/N)?" He pulled you towards him carefully. "That was you, wasn't it? Please, don't be embarrassed. Like I told your friend, things like that happen all the time."

You blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes. "I can't imagine what you think of me. I completely freaked out, just from walking in the door! I mean, who does that?"

"Believe it or not, lots of people react in different ways to getting a tattoo. Once, I was all set to give a tattoo to this huge dude, a linebacker or something. He was all about it until the second the needle touched him. Passed out cold. RIght there in the chair."

You peeked through your fingers, slowly lowering your hands. "Really?"

"Really," he said, giving you a reassuring smile. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Promise," he said as he pulled you into a hug.

You were pleasantly surprised to find yourself calming down almost instantly as you inhaled his scent and felt the warmth of his arms around you. A sigh escaped your lips, one you hoped Bucky didn't hear.

You felt him chuckle before you heard it and knew you'd been caught. He pulled back from you slightly. "Better?" he asked with one of those smiles he was quickly becoming famous for.

"Better," you replied with a shy smile of your own, secretly enjoying the fact that Bucky had yet to let go of you.

Your mind suddenly clicked with something Bucky had said. "Wait, did I hear you right? Did you say 'my shop' as in this place belongs to you? You're the owner?"

"Yup," he said matter-of-factly, looking up at the sign, "she's my pride and joy, in case you couldn't tell by all the ink I'm sporting."

"Wow, that's awesome. Aaaaand now I suddenly feel even worse for running out of there." You looked around nervously at everything but his face.

"Hey now, don't worry about it, really," he gave you an extra comforting squeeze. "Listen (Y/N), I had a really nice time this morning. Maybe we could hang out again? Soon?"

You looked up, finally meeting his eyes and seeing the sincerity and hope there. "I'd really like that, neighbor," you said with a grin.

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Over the next few weeks you and Bucky were inseparable. You were constantly hanging out at each other's apartments, sometimes going out but mostly just preferring to stay in and spend time together. You were really enjoying getting to know Bucky and building your friendship but neither one of you had really defined whatever this was between you. He'd never tried to kiss you even though you could have sworn he was about to a couple times. You just chalked that up to wishful thinking. Some of your favorite times were when it was late and you found yourselves cuddled up together on the couch watching a movie.

It was on one of those nights that Bucky brought up the subject of tattoos again. "(Y/N)?"

"Mmm-hmm?" you murmured sleepily.

"Ah, I was... well I was wondering if you'd like to come by the shop tomorrow?"

You sat up and gave him a questioning look. "And why would you want me to do that?"

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "I-I've just been thinking a lot about what you told me. About how you really want a tattoo but your anxiety is holding you back and well... I think I might be able help with that."

"Bucky... you know what happened last time. I have no plans to make a fool out of myself all over again."

"I know! I would never ever want you to feel like that again," he said hurriedly, "I was just thinking about maybe taking things slow, exposing you to different things in the shop one at a time so that you aren't bombarded with everything all at once."

You were quiet, considering his words for a moment. You had to admit, this plan might work. And if anyone could succeed in helping you stay calm it was Bucky. Plus, your desire to get a tattoo hadn't faded so you were definitely motivated. "Alright, I trust you Bucky. Let's do this," you said with a brave smile.

"Great," he pulled you in for a hug and kissed your forehead. You were grateful for the dim lighting to hide your blush as you settled into his side and finished the movie.

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As promised, Bucky was waiting for you outside the shop the next day just after closing.

"So," you said, wringing your hands nervously, "what's the plan?"

Immediately noticing your discomfort, Bucky took your hands in his. "Why don't we just walk in first, then we can play it by ear, okay?"

You took a deep breath and nodded. Bucky led the way, still holding one of your hands in his.

Entering the shop you were greeted by a much different atmosphere than before. It was quiet, no music and of course no people. Bucky had turned out all the lights except for a couple of lamps around the edges of the shop. He gave your hand a squeeze, silently checking in with you and grounding you in the moment. "I'm.... good. Yeah, good..." you smiled up at him. "How about a tour?"

Beaming at you Bucky slowly led you around the perimeter of the shop, drawing your attention to the photography on the wall and away from the tattoo equipment. All of the photos were very artistic, featuring some phenomenal tattoo work but not in a blatant or basic way. Bucky pointed out a couple that he had done and named the artists who worked for him that had done the others. You continued to walk slowly around the shop hand in hand and before you knew it you were back up at the front.

"So far so good?" Bucky asked carefully. You nodded with a smile. "Ready for phase two or do you want to call it a night?"

Looking into Bucky's eyes you felt a familiar sense of calm wash over you, just like the calm you felt that first night when he hugged you. You took a deep breath before answering, "I'm think I'm alright... what's next?"

"Before we do anything else I need to know a little bit more about the tattoo you want to get," Bucky said. "Basically where on your body that you want it."

"Well, I know I want it somewhere where I can see it anytime I want so... no spots covered by clothing or any that I'd need a mirror for. Um, I was kinda thinking the inside of my wrist?"

"Sounds perfect," Bucky responded, pulling you slowly toward the center of the shop. "I'm gonna have you sit down how you would if I was about to give you a tattoo, okay? Remember, we can stop anytime, just say the word."

Bucky guided you over to a chair taking a seat beside you, still facing you, still holding your hand. He rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb for reassurance. He took his time, explaining how the first thing he would do is talk about a design with you. He would sketch it out and when you were happy he would transfer that sketch onto your wrist before starting the tattoo.

"Wanna see how the machine works?" Bucky asked.

You looked at the small table where the equipment was all laid out and swallowed nervously. "It looks so, clinical. Not quite what I expected..."

"Picturing more of a medieval torture device?" He chuckled and picked up the gloves. "I take the health and safety part of my job very seriously, doll," he said with a wink as he put on the gloves and picked up a small packet. "Everything that comes in contact with you is clean and sterile. I promise, you're in good hands." He assembled all the parts and explained the basics of how the machine worked. "I'm gonna turn it on now, okay? Just so you can get used to the noise."

You nodded and mentally braced yourself. The machine came to life with the same buzzing sound you remembered from that first day. Instantly you were transported back in time and your body began to react. You tensed up in the chair as your breathing became more rapid and shallow.

"Hey, hey look at me," Bucky urged, turning off the machine and setting it down to rub his hands up and down your arms. You looked at him, noting the concern and caring etched onto his face and struggled to take a deep breath. He scooted closer to you, pulling you in until your foreheads touched. "Breathe with me, (Y/N). I've got you." You focused on Bucky, slowly syncing your breathing, feeling your body relax again. "Maybe we should stop," he said. "I-I've pushed you too hard, we should-"

"No!" you interrupted him, pulling back to look him in the eyes, "No, I've come this far. I don't wanna give up now. It's just, I don't know, the anticipation of it, you know? It's always worse than what actually ends up happening. I know that in the logical part of my brain but my subconscious and my body have other ideas..."

Bucky thought for a moment. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course," you replied, without hesitation.

"If anticipation of the thing is what is holding you back then maybe you should jump that hurdle as quickly as possible. I can let you feel what getting a tattoo is like without actually giving you a tattoo."

"Really?" you said nervously.

"It'll be just like getting a tattoo, but I won't use any ink. The feeling will be exactly the same."

You took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Okay, let's do it. Quick, before I think too hard about it."

He smiled and repositioned your arm, scooting even closer. "I'm gonna try it here, on your upper arm. It's less sensitive than your wrist and it'll be much easier for you to see what I'm doing. Ready?"

"Now or never," you said and braced yourself again. Bucky started up the machine, it was buzzing like before but this time you were more prepared. He held your arm with one hand and positioned the machine with the other. You held your breath as he pressed it into your arm. You felt pressure and pain, but not anything too overwhelming, almost like someone was scratching you hard with the lead of a mechanical pencil. It only lasted a few seconds before Bucky shut it off and set the machine down.

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked.

"I-I did it! I really did it! And I didn't pass out or anything! Take that, linebacker!" Your excitement gave you such a rush and the enormous smile on your face was quickly mirrored by the one on Bucky's. "Thank you so much!" you exclaimed, leaning forward and kissing him suddenly, without thinking.

You pulled back, shocked at your reaction and blushing with embarrassment, looking away so you didn't have to see Bucky's face. "I can't believe I just did that! I'm so sorry, I was just caught up in the moment and, and..." your ramblings were interrupted by Bucky placing his hand on your cheek, turning your face to look at him.

"Don't be sorry, doll. We shoulda done that a long time ago." And he pulled you in for another kiss, one that you happily reciprocated.

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You blinked sleepily as the sunlight filtered in through your curtains, bathing your bedroom in the soft morning light. Smiling you admired your new tattoo. It was finally done healing, small and beautiful, some might even say a bit cliche but that tiny purple butterfly just inside your left wrist meant a lot to you. It was a symbol of a fresh start that was a long time coming for you. New job, new apartment, new chapter of your life, this tattoo represented all of that for you and it never failed to bring a smile to your face when you saw it.

The mattress shifted as Bucky rolled over to place small kisses along your shoulder up to your neck. "Morning, beautiful," he murmured against your skin. "Admiring my work again?"

"I can't help it," you said, rolling over to face him. "You are just so good with your hands." Grinning you tilted your face up for a kiss, reaching up to thread your fingers through his hair. "In fact, I was just thinking about where my next tattoo should be."

"Next tattoo? You hooked already, doll?" he asked, teasingly. "What did you have in mind?"

"Hmm... still working on the what, it's the where I need your help with. Got any ideas?"