It's cold, lonely, and dark. Cedars-Sinai was never my favorite place. It reminds me of bad things. It reminds me of when my best friend got in a car accident and almost died, her boyfriend had flipped the car because he swerved to miss an animal. It reminds me of when I had surgery to remove my tonsils and adenoids. It reminds me of when I also had to have surgery to remove my first ovarian cyst. It reminds me of waiting for my sister to get out of surgery twice so I could meet my nieces. Both Marah and Kinley were delivered by C-Section. It reminds me of when I drove all the way from New York City to Los Angeles California after a business meeting with Mickinley Dreams after I caught my ex cheating on me. It's a two day drive. I didn't sleep and I only drank coffee causing me to become dehydrated and pass out from not eating as soon as my dad opened the front door. It reminds me when my co-workers daughter called me cause she "couldn't wake momma up from sleeping". And it reminds me of when John McVie was diagnosed with Cancer and we'd come here to see him during his Chemo treatments. Sitting here like this isn't doing the image any better.

It seems like I'm waiting for hours when I see Sara running down the hall, her scrubs slightly messed up, shoulder-length brown wavy hair piled on top of her head in a bun, her scrub shoes squeaking as she steps. After four kids, and being 5 foot 2, her scrubs are slightly tighter and it molds around her stomach which hasn't yet deflated from when she had Kinley and probably never will, but as bad as it sounds it provides a slight cushion when she brings my head to her stomach and holds me while I start crying. She splits her time between UCLA Medical Center and Cedars-Sinai. It's hard for Nick and the Kids but she's needed. She's one of the only few Neonatologists with a Cardiology background and it's surprising that the amount of babies born with heart problems is so high.

Mason and Violet are next, the elevator signaling the arrival. Gemma was born forty-eight hours ago, on January 26th 2019. Mom and Dad's wedding anniversary. She was breech and Violet had to have a c-section but mom was able to be here for it. She left about ten hours ago, she needs to be in Georgia for tomorrow night. Her second leg is kicking off and Dad forbade me from calling her when we found out that he needed to have emergency heart surgery.

Joshua comes running down the hall his leather jacket falling off his shoulders.

"Kitty is watching Noah, Ev, and Rhen. What's going on with dad?" Josh asks breathing heavily. Kitty's pregnant, they announced it over Thanksgiving dinner. She's due in May and my mom was so excited because that means the newest addition to the family could be born on either my birthday or her birthday.

"They took him back about thirty minutes ago. He was having chest pains so they did some minimally invasive stupid test. Transmy...something or other." I stumble sniffling.

"Transmyocardial Revascularization?" Sara questions.

"Yes whatever the hell that is." I shake my head.

"It's just to relieve the pressure on the heart causing chest pains. I can't believe dad was having chest pains. Do you know how long?" Sara questions.

"No. He said all day but that could've meant anything. Originally he thought it was from working out with Josh." I shrug. It had become his new pass time since he was fired. It alleviates his anger towards the band and mom.

"He should've told me." Sara pouts,

"Yeah, but they...they found something so they had to open him up. And I...I don't know." I sob.

"Hey, it's okay. Dad's going to be okay he's strong." Josh plops down next to me.

"Has anyone called mom yet?" Mason questions.

"No, dad specifically told me not to. He said I shouldn't be worrying her because she's going to be on stage in a few short hours and she just left and she shouldn't have to turn around." I shake my head.

"You should tell mom." Mason scolds.

"Mason...mom is the least of our worries right now. Dad is in surgery and we should be focusing on him." Joshua buts in.

"Sara, can't you like go back there or something?" Violet questions shifting from her wheelchair to the chair next to me carefully taking me into her arms.

"I can...and I see hundreds of heart surgeries daily but I don't think I want to go in there when my dad is the one that is being operated on." Sara sighs shaking her head.

***

He's in Surgery for six hours. I don't sleep, but Sara is passed out slightly slouched on the couch. She most likely has been up for close to twenty-four hours. Violet and Mason went back up to her recovery room and I'm sitting sideways in a chair, back against the wall and the armrest and my feet flung over Josh's lap.

I immediately bolt up when I see the doctor walk towards me.

"Ms. Buckingham?" He asks.

"Yeah," I nod.

"Alright, I see Dr. Jackson is with you, why don't you wake her up." The doctor points.

"She's my sister." I nod. He smiles and I go towards her. I gently touch her shoulder and she bolts up. She eyes me and the doctor.

"Dr. Preston, how's my father?" Sara asks wrapping her arm around my waist.

"He's in recovery. He's very weak and um...there were complications. One of his arteries were blocked and it was slightly narrow so we opened him up and did a coronary bypass surgery. The surgery requires us to put a tube in his neck to aid in breathing...We don't know if it caused vocal chord damage and we probably won't know until he's awake and we can run some more tests. He's an ICU now, room three. Dr. Jackson knows where. Only one of you can stay with him though. He's stable and that's all that matters." The doctor nods.

We wake Josh up and Sara leads us to his room. Even Josh starts tearing up when we see him lying pale and lifeless in that hospital room.

"Well who's staying. It can only be one of us. I can stay if you guys want to go home." Sara starts.

"No, It's four o'clock you have to be back here at seven. Just go to an on call room or something and sleep." Josh shakes his head looking at his watch.

"But I..." Sara starts.

"Work here, you can pop in anytime. Josh go home, Kitty needs you. I'll be fine." I say sadly.

"Emmy, you've been here with dad all night, you need to get some sleep. I was at least sleeping when you called." Josh shakes his head.

"I know and I can be with him a little longer. I'll sleep on the couch. Don't worry about me." I reply.

"Alright, come on Sara." Josh gives in.

The morning sun is slowly seeping through the curtains when a nurse looks at me after finishing her hourly check up.

"You look exhausted." She sighs.

"I am, but i'll be fine. I've gone a long time without sleep before." I shrug.

"I'm not supposed to allow this, but I remember when my dad got sick like this. I wanted to get in bed and cuddle with him. I couldn't, but I'll let you." She smiles placing her hand on my shoulder and walking out.

Taking the hint, I crawl up in the bed with my dad and nestle myself in the crook of his arm carefully maneuvering around the wires and the giant bandage on his chest.

***

I wake up a few hours later to a flash in a darkened room. Squinting, I see Kitty and Sara both with their camera's out.

"I don't think dad would appreciate you documenting this." I say tiredly.

"He might not like it but it looked cute and eventually we are going to have to tell the world. I think this would be the perfect picture to use in a social media post." Kitty explains.

"Shouldn't you be with my mom at her concert dressing her?" I ask my sister-in-law.

"I should be, but I told her I didn't want to travel while pregnant and she agreed saying that when she was pregnant with Josh and toured the world with Fleetwood Mac on Tango In the Night, it sucked." Kitty shrugs.

"She had a hard time when she toured while she was pregnant with you too." Sara adds.

"Shouldn't you be like giving a heart surgery or something?" I question.

"I've decided to take a leave of absence from my job until Dad's back on his feet. My supervisors understand and they're wishing all the love. It'll be good. I've been doing this for twenty-two years straight with very little vacation. I'd like to spend some time with my kids you know." Sara shrugs.

"Has anyone else been by?" I question.

"Mason was down for a little bit. Violet is getting discharged today. He said they were going to come by on their way out of the hospital." Sara explains.

She's changed from her scrubs to a UCLA hoodie and a pair of skinny jeans. Grey riding boots are now on her feet instead of the squeaky scrub shoes. Her brown waves are now down resting on her shoulders. Kitty even in all her pregnant glory is wearing a cream flowy shirt a pair of black leggings brown riding boots, a burgundy sweater and my blue, mustard, burgundy, and a cream infinity scarf. I on the other hand look homeless in my grey batwing top and black knee-length leggings, hair dishelved up in a bun. He woke me up from a dead sleep so I threw off my pajama bottoms and chucked the first pair of pants on that I grabbed.

After a moment of silence, I look to my dad and I sigh.

"Daddy, please be okay. You have to be okay." I say to him before pushing my face in the shoulder of the hospital gown.

I start to cry again and after I start sobbing, I can tell Sara and Kitty are both sobbing as well. That's when I feel a shaky hand come up to the back of my head and starts rubbing it.

"D-Dove," Dad replies. It comes out shaky and gravely.

"Oh my god, Dad." I sob as he tightens his hold around me.

"I'm..Ahem..I'm okay." He tries to clear his throat but it doesn't work.

I quickly sit up and he brings his left hand up to his throat. I'm taken back by not seeing the ring on his finger, but I know he couldn't have it on during the surgery.

"Sara...W-What happened?" Dad questions hoarsely.

"Dad, I think they damaged your vocal cords when they did the surgery. A coronary bypass involves a PICC line. With babies, we put it through the head. It provides medicine and oxygen to the patient while they're under. With adults, the PICC line is inserted through the neck. I think they hit your cords while they were administering it." Sara looks down at her hands.

"Geez, I would hate to be the person that ruined Lindsey Buckingham's voice," KItty says eyes wide.

"Mhm," Dad growls.

"Alright, Well...Sara why don't you go get Dr. Preston. Um, I'll call everyone else and fill them in. What about mom?" I ask turning to my dad.

"She doesn't need to know anything." Is his gruff response.

"Dad she's going to find out and she's going to be pissed." Sara sighs.

"I...Don't...Care." He grumbles.

"Alright," Sara gives in.