The past five years have been interesting. We've been separated for literally five years. Neither moving for Divorce, well that's not entirely true. I had my lawyers rewrite the papers I had made up when we were separated after Mason was born. However, I haven't filed them. It's getting rough though because our family dynamics have changed rapidly. Sara is fifteen, she's in High School. Mason is eleven and Josh is five. For the past four years, I've watched my wife deteriorate. The pills have been more prominent and her weight has skyrocketed. But I still love her and I still think she's gorgeous. We've essentially been having an affair for years. After every one of Sara's dance shows, every holiday, and every anniversary, I move back into the big house for a short amount of time. We've had an open separation completely different from the first one. We've actually kept in touch with each other and it was my week with the kids when Sara got her first period. Stevie had a car bring her all the way out to Santa Monica to help her.

A lot has gone on in our extended family as well. Meredith and Greg had a third child, Stella. Last year, Jeff and Christi had a little girl named Cory. Christopher and Lori are doing great, they've been married for four years now, but they have not expanded their family yet. John and Christine McVie rekindled their relationship for one night and one night only on the most recent Fleetwood Mac tour. I've kept in touch with them both, but I haven't really spoken to Mick in a while. As a result of John and Christine's affair, and well, one night stand...she fell pregnant. As far as I know, Julie is okay with it, though it took John a little while to get our of the dog house, which is understandable. He slept with his ex-wife of almost twenty years. I guess they've figured out a co-parenting thing. She gave birth three months ago. His name is Carson Brantley McVie. This baby is Chris' miracle baby.

Deb Byron and I have a system now. On my weeks with the kids, she takes Sara to dance because our daughters dance together. I pick Micah up he's only two years older than Josh and two and a half years younger than Mason and the three have them have become really good friends. We meet at the dance studio and swap children.

Stevie has the kids this week so when the phone rings I panic. I rarely get any phone calls out here in Santa Monica, so part of my brain thinks it's Stevie calling with something child-related that isn't necessarily good, or it could be someone else.

"Hello," I answer.

"Lindsey...it's...Mer." My sister in law sobs.

"Meredith, what's wrong?" I question.

"Greg's in the hospital. They had to call the ambulance from the High School. He had a heart attack. He's only forty-five." She's still crying.

"Okay, I am on my way," I say grabbing my keys and a leather jacket.

***

I sit with Merridith until Jeff gets there to take over. I come back when my mother arrives and within an hour, my brother passes away. November 11, 1990.

It's six-thirty when I walk into the big house. The family is in the dining room eating dinner. Stevie sees my face and gets up walking over to me. In the living room, the tears fall.

"Baby what's wrong?" She asks.

'Greg...Greg passed away." I say

"What?" She asks.

"He had a heart attack, like dad," I tell her.

"SO what's going to happen?" She questions.

"Meredith wants to bury him by dad in San Francisco.

"Lindsey, I'll be there." She nods.

"Angel, I'm scared. I'm forty-one. He was only forty-five." I say

"I know. Do you want me to tell them or do you want to" She looks at me.

"I can do it. I have to." I bite my lip.

She places her arms around my back and we go into the dining room.

"Daddy, why are you here?" Josh asks.

"Um, well I have to tell you something. Uncle Greg's heart was sick. He went to Heaven tonight. Your Uncle Greg died." I bite out.

"I saw him this morning, I literally had him first hour." Sara says.

She starts her day with Greg, then goes straight to Deb's class, four other classes after Deb and then she ends her day with Paul.

"I know. Aunt Meredith called me at ten this morning, you would've been in Deb's classroom." I explain.

"Is that why we were held over twenty minutes?" She asks.

"Probably." I nod.

"What do you mean his heart was sick?" Mason asks.

"He had a heart attack," I tell them.

"Oh, can I go call Aunt Mer and Joey?" Sara asks.

"Of course." Stevie nods.

"I told Meredith I'd go to their house tomorrow if you want to come," I say.

"Yes, I'll cook something Lindsey, you're staying tonight. No excuses." Stevie states.

***

Driving to San Francisco was somber, Stevie holding my hand the whole time. After Greg's burial, we were sitting in my childhood bedroom staring at each other.

"Lindsey are we okay?" Stevie asks looking down at her hands. She's got her gold ring on the left hand, gold wedding band on the right.

"I don't know." I shrug.

"We've been married for seventeen years. I can't throw that away." Stevie sighs.

"Maybe we can go to counseling?" I suggest.

"I'm already in so much counseling Lindsey." She shakes her head.

"Well, we'll just have to work it out ourselves." I shrug.

"I love you, Lindsey." She says kissing my shoulder and laying her head on it.

"I know," I answer.