Being back at the Phoenix house scare me. All I can remember is the blood. When I walk in a strange feeling encompasses me.

"Daddy!' I hear Mason yell.

"Hey, buddy." I smile squeezing him tightly.

"Dad." I hear Sara say. I look up at her and she runs into my arms sobbing.

"Sweet Girl, what's wrong," I ask

She just pulls away and rolls her sleeve up. Bruises are littering her arms. I know for a fact my wife doesn't beat the children. I only spank them if they misbehave and normally after I've done it once they don't ever act out that bad again.

"Baby what happened to your arm?" I ask examining it.

"Ms. Kratz." She looks down.

'Ms. Kratz, who's Ms. Kratz?" I ask

"Mommy started taking medicine and she' s not very much like mommy anymore. Ms. Kratz takes care of us and she hurts us when we don't listen." Mason pouts. I examine him and his lower back is bruised.

"Sara, Mason dinner now," A woman with grey hair and a pinched face yells pointing towards the kitchen.

"But daddy's home," Sara says hugging me.

"Sara Rhiannon I said dinner." The woman stamps her foot.

"I want to talk to daddy," Sara says clinging to me.

The bitch grabs my daughter's arm and pulls her away. Anger fills me and I storm after them.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY DAUGHTER," I yell a squeal coming from the high chair.

"I AM THEIR CAREGIVER, I WILL DO AS I PLEASE!" The woman yells.

"Lindsey, this is Fiona Kratz. She's their nanny." Stevie says.

She doesn't answer quickly and my eyes flash to her. Her beautiful brown eyes are dull and lifeless. She's put on weight as well.

"Stevie, why do we have a nanny?" I ask crossing my arms.

"Lindsey, I'm just so tired and busy. I can't take care of them alone and Joshua is walking now. Extra eyes are always welcome." Stevie shrugs

"Ms. Kratz you may go. We won't need you over Thanksgiving." I glare at the woman.

"I don't work for you." She hisses.

I go to the freezer and take out some frozen peas.

"Stephanie." I'm getting angrier.

"Fiona, you can leave." My wife nods going to the medicine cabinet and taking a pill bottle out.

"Yes, Mrs. Buckingham." As the woman leaves I hand the peas over to my ten year old and she places them on her arm.

After dinner and the children have gone to bed, I pull Stevie into our room.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I ask starting to unpack my tour stuff, gladly being able to sleep in my own bed even if just four months ago the bed was covered in blood.

"Nothing Lindsey, I'm fine." She sighs changing into her white silk nightgown.

"You obviously are not if you're taking pills, Stevie." I groan.

"They're for my anxiety." She plops on the bed.

"Anxiety, since when did you have anxiety?" I ask.

"After you left I started having nightmares of the miscarriage and they nightmares would lead to panic attacks, so Jenny set me up with a therapist. He prescribed me the pills and the side effects make me tired and spacey." Stevie explains.

"And you thought hiring an abusive nanny for our children was the right thing to do? Stevie, I should have half a say in anything to do with Sara, Mace, and Josh." I cross my arms.

"Fiona is not abusive. She has strong discipline yes, but the children are much more well behaved now. Sara and Mason haven't fought in two months." Stevie says.

"You could've told me everything you know. I would've stopped touring...But she is abusive. The bruises on Sara and Mason's bodies are alarming." I say

"You just don't understand." Stevie pouts.

"All I know is that Fiona needs to go or the children and I will," I tell her crawling into bed and rolling away from her.

"Lindsey," Stevie says grabbing my shoulder and leaning over me.

"What Stevie?" I ask

"I love you," She kisses the corner of my mouth.

"I love you too." I sigh

She buries her face in my back and closes her eyes.

***

Everyone, my family included piles into our house and just our luck, Ms. Kratz as well. At the sight of the nanny, my daughter who is laughing and rolling around on the floor with Joseph and Olivia tenses up. My mother notices and taps my arm. I take her into my office and let out a sigh as I plop in my chair.

"So, my wife had a miscarriage back in August. She was only four weeks along but we aren't telling anyone so you know nothing about it. But after I went on tour she started having panic attacks because of it. So she went to a psychiatrist and he gave her some pills that make her spacey so she hired a nanny that beats the shit out of the children if they act out. Stevie is completely oblivious to it, and won't fire her." I explain.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. But I don't know how to help you." My mother sighs.

"It's okay, I'm just angry. But please, don't say anything about the miscarriage." I say.

"I promise," My mom says kissing my forehead.

Thanksgiving was interesting, but what worried me the most was going our separate ways. I was going back to work for a month. Stevie was going home.

"I'm serious. Fiona better be gone when I get to LA for Christmas. If she's not I will be and I will be taking my children." I state firmly.

She just gives me a look and with a chaste kiss, we part.

***

All tour, my thoughts wander to my children. If they're okay or not. I cut my tour short and go home on the fifteenth instead of the twentieth when my daughter calls me crying. I get home just in time to see my wife sleeping on the couch, Joshua struggling against the high chair restraints, Mason sitting in a corner shifting constantly. And my daughter bent over the kitchen table getting her bare ass hit with a paddle. A type of discipline that I haven't seen since I was about four.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" I yell.

"Oh, Mr. Buckingham welcome back home." Fiona stops.

"Daddy!" Sara yells breaking away from her grasp. Her skirt falling back down to her knees.

"Why is everyone yelling?" Stevie asks groggily coming into the kitchen of the LA house.

"Stevie, what did I say at Thanksgiving?" I ask.

"Lindsey...I." Stevie starts.

"Go look at Mason's bottom," I say sternly.

She does and her hands go to her mouth. A strangled gasp escapes her lips.

"Fiona, I know I didn't do that," Stevie says.

"Mrs. Buckingham, spanking is a perfectly fine punishment," Fiona crosses her arms.

"You call that spanking? That is abuse." I say angrily.

"Mr. Buckingham, how I rear children is my own business." Fiona spits

"Not when it's my children." I spit back.

"Fiona, I am sorry but I will not have my children raised like that. I'll pay you for the week but your services will not be needed after today." Stevie sighs.

***

Once Fiona is gone. Stevie puts ointment on the children and then goes back into the kitchen to pop a pill.

"Way to go, Lindsey, now I have to find more help. God only knows how long it'll be until we go back to work and Robin isn't here to help anymore." Stevie says.

"Stevie, she abused our children. Besides you won't have to worry about it...we're leaving after Christmas." I say.

"LINDSEY...COME ON" She slams her hands down onto the marble kitchen counter.

"No, I told you if she wasn't gone by the time I got back I was taking the children and going somewhere else," I reply

"Lindsey, I can't go without seeing my babies." Stevie has tears in her eyes.

"And you did fire her... How about this, We'll do every other week until we can work something out. I'll go live in your condo." I state.

"Lindsey...can we not separate for once in our lives? I'm tired of living away from you. " She asks.

"We work better separated," I spit walking away to go check on my children.

After Christmas when Stevie hugged the kids goodbye my heart broke a little, but I can't fathom leaving them alone with her. It sounds horrible because she is their mother...but, I simply don't trust her anymore. After what she told me about the pills and the fact that the next person she hires may be even worse than Fiona, it makes me feel uneasy. I've been a single father before, and I can be one again. There's just an extra kid this time.