It was still, by far, one of the most bizarre things that had happened to my life; following the long time after I had that crazily fantastic trip on Spain, I came back again.

I had a thousand rationales on why I shouldn't have gone, and one of them being the reason that it will just remind me of the memories that until now, I was still trying all I could to put back and forget.

Even hearing the country's name would put his face on my mind. I had a lot of good reasons to consider not going, but the hard part was not having a choice, at least to not disappoint my friend.

She was having her wedding on Spain (crazy, I know). In a strange coincidence, her fiancé, Sean, loved to stay in Spain and had even asked my friend to live there with him, and agreeing to his proposed marriage, perhaps it meant that she was so on about living there with him.

For some reason, all the time that I had known Gia's fiancé, his name seemed to tickle my ears so much, it was uncannily familiar to a name that I have heard from a person.

"I really, truly, genuinely wish that I could stay with you here tonight, but Sean will be alone.", Gia told, making her face as sympathetic as she could. And there goes the name that doesn't seem to just cross my mind.

It had just been about an hour ever sine we got here at the hotel room where we'll be staying until the wedding. Whilst Gia will be staying with her fiancé at another room, they were the ones who booked all the hotel room for their wedding guests that doesn't live here.

"Yeah, right.", I gave her a fake glare as I placed the folded baby clothes on the bed from the luggage whilst sitting crossed legged on the floor.

"Atleast you'll have Leon with you, you'll still have company either way.", I glanced at my son, Leon who was playing on the floor mat with his toys, and back to Gia who was seated on the bed.

I couldn't help but smile at what my friend said. Eversince I gave birth to my baby twenty months ago, all he could ever be was a cute companion and my biggest ball of sunshine.

He looked exactly like Vernon, the adorable and small version of him, he had all his features that I highly doubt I had any resemblance to him.

Gia hopped off the bed and excitedly went to Leon to sit with him on the floor. "Hey Leon.", She baby talked him and he looked at her with his biggest smile. "Why are you so handsome? Huh, Leon? You are the most cutest thing.", Leon would just giggle to how irresistible he was to my friend.

It was my sight for almost everyday, Gia is so fond of Leon, and he would smile and titter even just by a small thing.

"Mommy?", I diverted my attention to Leon when he called me with his ever so cute tiny voice.

"Yes, baby?", He was having trouble standing on his feet thus getting help from Gia. He toddled towards me and I welcomed him by spreading my arms.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and just buried his face on my shoulder, whereas I enfolded him in my arms. From the day he started to walk on his own, not that long ago, from playing with his toys or anything that kept him away from me for awhile, he would come to me and do the same exact thing.

"Are you drowsy?", I asked him as I gradually pulled away from him.

Leon shook his head while his lower lip was thrusted out. "No, no.", He answered, yet not even a second after, he let out a yawn.

I chuckled, standing up from the floor and then lifted him up. I walked to the side of the bed and placed him down on the sheets.

"Weren't you going to buy groceries?", I heard Gia said as she made her way next to me.

I looked at her with my mouth agape. "Right. I totally forgot.", I snickered to myself, slightly relieved that Leon wasn't still looking for his most favorite biscuits. "I couldn't pack any biscuits, and you know how he can't last a day without them."

"Biscuits?", Leon questioned, making me instantly regret saying the word.

Gia gave me a knowing grin, before taking a seat close to Leon on the bed. "You're mommy's gonna go get biscuits.", She exclaimed, as she held Leon's hands and wiggled them.

I threw on my coat to get ready, because sooner or later, he will definitely ask for biscuits now that it has went to his mind.

I asked my friend for a favor then again, and repeatedly, then again she reminded me that she was more than pleased to watch over Leon. Gia has done it for me countless times, and I just really needed to ask just in case.

Seeing the outside again for the first time in a while, the nostalgia instantly came to me. I stayed and had a trip here for only just about a month, but there were just too many memories, beautiful ones, devastating ones, some worth to forget ones, yet mostly, all I could really conclude is that good memory or not, no matter how tragic they were, I wouldn't forget a single second of them.

The best part was meeting him, no matter how much my mind tells me that I regret encountering someone like him, I don't, from the depths of my feelings, I don't.

He was just. . something, and I wouldn't mind going back and go through the exact same thing again.

At some point, after completing my purpose for going outside, I just found myself at the park — the park where everything just, sort of, started to happen.

I told myself that I wouldn't take long there, that I will only take a matter of minutes looking around there, that after I relive a memory, I will leave that place and remember that I went back to where it all started.

Yet.

Yet, I was too overwhelmed with my emotions and everything that ran through my mind that I couldn't organize anymore, and eventually, I was just there, seated on the same bench, that bench that always happended to be vacant and was under a big tree.

My friend told me earlier that I could take my time outside, and there I was, actually taking my time.

Everything looked the same from the first time, the air was blowing familiarly, even the temperature felt the same.

How I wish I could go back to that time, only that exact time when we were likely just strangers, not knowing anything from each other, that awkward talk and that feeling when you get to meet someone for the first time and you just can't seem to think about anything.

How I would risk anything to hear those first sentences from him again. .

"Would you mind if I take a seat here?"

I instantly glanced up. That deep attractive voice, it was too familiar to resist.

It felt like I was still deep in my mind, still uncovering the memories I had here and he was just standing there as a part of it, yet you can never really confuse something so real to a hallucination.

I just stared at him, not knowing what to do and say. I couldn't even think straight, words and thoughts and circumstances were jumbling inside my mind, and unless I take a moment to organize them, they will all stay where they were.

"A few benches around here are not occupied, but it would be too far from your bench.", There was something in his smile that didn't seem to show a single sign of what I was feeling at that time.

He appeared too relaxed that you can't really tell if the sudden situation affects him.

I stood up, and that almost immediately brought confusion to his face. I fixed my gaze on him, my eyes slightly widened.

"Hi.", I quietly said. And finally letting out a breath, I realized how fast my heart was pounding.

"Hey.", Now, there was sadness in his eyes.

I wanted to tell him how I missed him, but I couldn't, and I know that it wasn't necessary.

"I. . It's . .", I tried to start, yet there was just nothing for me to say.

In an unannounced manner, it was only just about a millisecond when I realized his arm enveloped my wrist, just as soon as he pulled me to him and wrapped me in his warm embrace.

My heart has went through the roof, it was beating so much that I couldn't remember how it normally does anymore.

"You're. . you're not supposed to do this.", I managed to say despite not having an easy time doing so.

I wanted to push him away, not because I didn't want it, but because there was just too many things that tells me that I should, like one and most important of all: he's married. He told me so himself the last time we met that he was going to, and by now, he must already be.

"I am.", He said in a low voice, hugging me tighter. "I am supposed to do this. ."

I am well aware that it should be the last thing to do, but I trailed my hand all the way to the top part of his back and rested my forehead on his shoulder.

For just a minute or two, I'm intentionally trying to hurt someone's heart.

"It has been a long time again."

I hummed in response, closing my eyes to convince myself to not feel a single pain.

"I missed you.", He added.

I was taken aback for a second, like I didn't expect him to tell me something like that, but like how I've been persuading myself to numb my feelings, I didn't give my astonishment any attention.

"I wanted to say that too.", I said, and by then, there was just no way I could turn back and tell him that what happened was purely something I didn't intend myself to get into.