For every second, I couldn't help but acknowledge how mixed the feelings on Vernon's face were. He seemed radiant, and regretful, and anxious, and devastated, and lonely, all at the same time.

It was one of the times where I found it hard to read him, and that makes it less easier to consider asking him anything or whatever.

"Why didn't you go?", He asked, and he had this slight smile as if making his question unecessary because he seemed to already know a context about the answer he'll receive.

"Because. . you're there and. .", I said, words getting more quiet until the last.

I glanced down, and just like any other moments eversince I knew I was pregnant, my baby bump caught my attention.

I was so glad I wore a big sized padded jacket, making it barely noticeable that I was seven months pregnant. He seemed to not notice it at all, and that was the first thing that I wanted to make sure.

I am well aware that it was the most unfair thing that I've ever done to him, but I wasn't sure yet. I barely had any choice.

Following a few more talks, Vernon suggested for us to have a little more chat at a nearby café. I did contemplate first, I wanted to disagree more than anything, but with like everything going on, and not to mention how brisk was it to even think about more, nevertheless, I agreed.

For a bit there, I became unmitigatedly anxious; I opened the door to an unusual length, I pulled the chair twice needed and it was a struggle seating myself all because of my belly size. I was half expecting that he would catch on, but he didn't comment on anything, which was an indication for me to believe that I was still safe with my lie.

Vernon was the one who made our orders at the cashier, and later came back holding a tray with two drinks.

I actually didn't have any appetite for sweets therefore led me to pick the most plain drink there which was water.

Vernon got something like a tea, one with a strong scent to add up. For some reason, the drink had completely occupied my sense of smell and I didn't like it at all.

I wasn't like this before, and to an extent I loved to drink tea, well, not until, I got pregnant.

"It's been awhile.", He started after all things were set. "Seven months, since the last time I saw you.", He was smiling, yet there was nothing but regret on his voice.

"Yeah.", I pursed my lips. It has really actually been a long while ever since I had the best time of my life. "Seven months is crazy."

He chuckled, and who knew I could ever be this pleased seeing his face soften. "Have you been well?", He asked as he fidgeted the handle of the cup.

"Yeah.", Partially no, yet still, it was close. "You?"

He just hummed softly in response.

Do I take that as a partial no and a close to yes as well?

"I hadn't expected seeing you around here.", I told him, instinctively taking a sip out of my water after.

"Likewise.", From beaming, he slightly raised his eyebrows. "Would you mind if I ask you about what you did here?"

I snickered at his formality, yet somehow, it dawned on me that it really wasn't the same as how it used to be. Even though he was just across the table, he still seemed distant.

"I went to this gallery exhibit. The venue was actually the building close to where we met earlier."

He looked quite surprised by the way his brows flinched upward, but until that, I couldn't decipher the other feelings he had through his facial expressions.

I was confused about why he was even to some degree astonished, yet looking back earlier, the photograph of me that was exhibited at that gallery that clearly he was the one who took, some things led to one thing and another, the reason why he was around here and the surprised look he had.

"I actually came here because of—"

"The same exhibit?", I cut him off to finish his sentence. "Why was a picture of me in there?", I questioned, and it made the atmosphere so opposite to how it used to just now.

I was just truly curious about why, of all pictures he took, did it have to be one where I was in. It made me feel all sort of things, and assume. . like also a lot of things.

"Because it was the one I liked the most.", He answered, and hell, did it ever made my heart do flips. I froze, yet my heart and my stomach had something's frantically going on.

I suddenly remembered his answer when I asked him that time if he captures specific things.

Now, I feel so much regret. About everything. The fact that I left him. The fact that I didn't even try to care and just loose all the way.

It was a long wordless time. It was quiet between us, the only thing sounding were the people chatting on the other tables.

I looked up to meet his eyes when he cleared his throat, finally breaking the silence that I never dared myself to crack. "I'm getting married.", He stated, his voice low.

One sentence was enough to make my heart do cartwheels, and another was enough to put it to halt and break it into pieces.

"In less than two months from now. With Cath.", He added.

And two more sentences were more than enough to burn those pieces to ashes.

I really wish, at this very moment, right now, that I could just run away somewhere far. It was too suffocating to stay seated there, and tears were becoming too hard to contain.

"That's amazing.", I congratulated him, and I genuinely wish that I wasn't lying, that I said it with a sincere heart. "I'm happy that you worked things out. I knew that there was still something about you and her, and you gave her a chance to what she wanted."

I never knew that there was still something about them. . yet, it seemed that it was the case.

"Why did you leave? I could've—"

I cut him off. "No, nothing was going to happen. We were never going to head somewhere.", I gave him a smile, one that wasn't so easy to pull off. "And, don't you see? all it took was for me to leave for you two to get back together again. Believe me, me staying would be the worst idea, and someday in the future, you're going to thank me for doing so."

He shook his head whilst his face was frowning. He looked hurt and discontented, but why?

"I wish you the best, Vernon, in absolute honesty, you and Cath.", I moved my chair backwards, bracing myself to stand up. "I'm pretty sure this is everything that we needed to talk about, I'll take my leave first.", I stood up, and as I walked past him, I didn't bother looking at him anymore.

I strode towards the door. All I need was to go out of that café, and probably not comeback anymore for the rest of my life, get home and allow my tears to finally flow.

I was so close to the door, however, when I heard his irresistible voice that called my name, I didn't think twice on turning around and facing him.

I just waited for his purpose on holding me back from leaving the place.

He paced towards me, and we had about two feet distance from each other. He buried his hand on the pocket of his jeans and brought it up to show me something on his palms.

It was a silver necklace, one with a small pendant that was the shape of the sun and a crescent moon shaped perfectly inside the sun.

He held my hand and placed there the necklace. "Remember that night when we went out, and I told you that I forgot something really important?", I nodded, glancing down at the necklace on my palm. "It was that necklace, I was going to give it to you at the most perfect time that night."

"Why?", I questioned, because I didn't have any good guess on why he was going to give me a necklace.

He became actually dismayed, like he hadn't expected me questioning what he was going to give me. "Because I wanted to tell you how much I like you that night, and. . set a few things straight with you. . like our relationship."

Well, dang it.

"I better get going.", I shook my head by how insane things were. I was going to turn around and leave, and yet, he managed to stop me again.

"But, what about. .", He couldn't seem to finish his words.

I glanced up to meet his eyes. "You're getting married, Vernon. There's nothing else we can do.", I gave him a smile, and I'm certain that it will be the last time. "I liked you too, so much, but if we continue this, we're going to make the same mistake again."

"It wasn't a mistake."

"It was, and the second time will also be."

For real now, I turned my back on him. I reached for the handle of the door and dashed myself out.

I never expected myself to say it, but if I could turn back time, I would've done the otherwise of leaving him and live today without any regrets.