It has already been six days eversince I've last seen him. In those days, I just went out whenever I felt the need to eat, and for the rest of the days, I spent it living inside my mind.

I had overwhelming amounts of thoughts, every second, every moment, when I close my eyes to sleep, I couldn't help but be carried away by my thoughts.

I had somehow wished that I would meet him one of those days because he feels like an escape, that for some reason, just being with him makes me forget about any other things.

I didn't care if it was also because of him that I was having such thoughts, all I really wanted was a getaway, something he was the only one capable of giving me.

I hugged my knees tighter with my left hand, as my other was holding the phone up to my ear, with every ring vibrating against my jaw, I could feel my breath drifting away.

I was aware that was it already past twelve, about two a.m, but for hours now, all I could ever think about was the need to call him without giving much thought about my reason.

For the record, I wasn't drunk, nor I was even high on drugs, I don't even do drugs. Well, maybe, I had one or two, or perhaps a couple of cups of alcohol, and that was it, where would I be able to get this courage to even search fo his number and dial it if it wasn't for the slight kick from the alcohol?

It was done on purpose, and I actually had needed it.

"Hello?", The moment I heard his low and rough voice from the other line, my hand instinctively wrapped even harder around my phone.

This is it. This is the moment that I have been unconsciously waiting for to happen, and considering from his voice, I think I might've woken him up for it.

"Were you sleeping already? I'm sorry if I called you this late . . or early.", I nibbled on my bottom lip, a bit anxious for some reason.

"Liv . .?", He must have not even had the chance to look at his phone to check the person calling him and just answered it as he was already in deep sleep. "N—No, I wasn't . . I wasn't sleeping yet, it's alright."

"Oh. . ", Of course, I knew that he was lying. I could hear him clearing his throat every second. "Is it weird that I called? And it's like two thirty."

"No, it's not at all weird and. . I'm glad you did."

A smile somehow made it's way to my face. This is what I meant when I said that he's my escape, not even a couple of minutes had went by, not even a lot words were spoken, but I already felt like I was in a different place, much far away from where I used to.

"If by chance that you already want to sleep. .", I wandered my eyes around the blank floor. "You can drop the call. No one's feelings wil get hurt if you do so, I promise."

I waited for a second, and another, and another one, until I lost track of count, yet, even until then, I could still hear his quiet side of the line from my phone. I knew that he wasn't the type of person to do that, and fortunately, he actually didn't. "Liv. . I would be the last person to do that.", I heard him breath deeply, like a sigh, but it was less than that. "Can I come over? I want to."

My eyes immediately altered to my luggage that was standing at the corner, already packed with all my stuffs. I shook my head slightly, even though he wouldn't see it, I just did. "Some other day?"

I know that, me leaving is such an abrupt thing to do. I didn't even plan of it until like two days ago. I decided to not rethink about it that much, all I really wanted was to leave.

It's just that, these past days, this trip didn't have any spark on me anymore. And, I had initially planned that I will be going back sooner, how can I stay when I no longer have the will to be thrilled?

"Please?", His voice, the way he says it, if I wasn't at all determined, and I haven't gotten my ticket to fly back home yet, I would've fallen for it already. "I don't think I can tell myself to give you space more longer. I want to see you again. I need to talk to you."

Perhaps, after days of being apart with him, he himself found a lot of realizations. It was the first time he was willing to talk about something, when, everytime I tried to talk him into it, he would always try to dodge it.

I swallowed the lump that had just formed on my throat. "There's a lot of things that I want to tell you, Vernon, and most of them I can't bring myself to put into words. But. . I want to tell you that. .", I closed my eyes shut briefly, once again gathering up my courage. " That I have fallen for you, even if you probably intended for me not to, I just. . I just one day found myself feeling things, and over time, I knew it was something related to the unusual pace of my heart. ." I paused for a solid four seconds as I breathed out. "You're the most perfect guy that I have ever had the first expression of, yet like every other people, you have some flaws of your own, and that is certainly normal, it makes you human, but at some point, I somehow wished that you remained perfect. I wished that you didn't have a catastrophic past like I did. I wished that everything could've stayed the same way as how it used to, that way, I could still unconsciously love you from wherever I am near you."

My tears were starting to blur my eyes. "If anything, I want to say that I'm sorry if things turned out this way. If I would've known sooner before that I would catch feelings for you, I should've avoided you and I wouldn't have became your tour buddy slash sex buddy, or any other things that you could describe whatever we had.", I smiled, and even though I convinced myself that it was genuine, it felt too painful to become something sweet. "I'm, a bit, intoxicated right now, and I don't know if I'm on my right mind, but I swear, everything that I had said is true, and didn't people say that you are at your most honest state when you're under the influence of alcohol?"

I had all the urge to end the call because after all that I had said, I don't know what to expect to hear from him anymore, and I was ashamed at the least.

"Please, Liv. . let me go to you. I will make things better.", From his voice, I could tell that he was moving around.

"If you knock on my door right now, I swear that I will never talk to you again.", I told him calmly. The last thing that I wanted at that very moment was to see him, and regret every choices that I make after.

"I'm on the lift right now."

"Vernon, please. I don't want to see y—"

"I'm heading back to my room, you don't have to worry."

He was literally making things harder for me, and it really sucked that I was the one who placed myself into this.

We became wordless for a long while. I waited for him to say something, but, I still don't know wherever he is right now.

I wanted to tell him something, anything to ease the guilt that I'm feeling towards him.

"Will I ever have the chance to see you again?", He asked, his voice was low, yet it shouted too many emotions and one I could make out as devastation.

"If by any chance that we could cross paths all over again like it's the first time, would you still approach me?"

"Of course. .", He spoke faintly.

"I wish that someday in our time, I could meet you again like how we did at that park bench, you would ask me if I was alone and I would say yes, but the rest would be different, we didn't meet there because we tried to escape something behind us, we talked not because we wanted to forget momentarily, but because it was purely out of delight."

I wished that, that was actually the case. I know that it was too much to ask, but, if so ever happened, it would already be everything.

It was a long quiet moment again. I could hear him taking a breathe, almost saying a word, yet there wasn't a single thing I could hear from him.

As much as I wanted to bring up Cath, ask him everything I was so curious about, and tell him that he should give her a chance (because that's what I've wanted for myself before meeting him), I wanted more to not have this conversation contain anyone but us, I was being selfish, I know, but it was the least thing I could do for myself before letting him do everything that has been holding him back because of me.

I think, I really must've been drunk.

"I should probably stop talking right now.", It was just a thought inside my mind, yet I ended up speaking it up to my normal voice, out of the embarrassment, probably. "Thank you for listening to my nonsense, I didn't know that I would spill practically everything, nonetheless, thank you for. . uhm. . everything, for spending time with me and for taking me along to your exciting and eventful life."

Like any other words that I spoke, until then, it was all in honesty.

"And uhm. .", I carrased my knee with my thumb as I drew my lower lip between my teeth. ". .goodbye."

"Are you going to leave?", I slightly gasp by how he catched on.

Well, I was actually being very obvious. It shouldn't surprise me that anyone would get it, yet still, I was taken aback.

I knew I shouldn't have drank. I told him things I wasn't meant to say and my feelings are all over the place.

"I'm not.", I am.

And for the rest of the time, there wasn't any words again.

And frankly, I wished that time will stop and it will remain like this forever.

However, I know even for a million years, that wouldn't happen.

And so, I told him "goodbye" again, for the last time, and most probably will be the last word I tell him, unless we happen to meet again in our time.

But for now, goodbye fairytale.