If this is how I've to perceive him from now on, I don't know until how long will I be able to handle this. It feels as if, that Kabir Raichand never existed. The way he talks, those easy smiles, that careless flirting, everything is all new and unbelievable. I can't exactly put my thoughts into words but it feels like I'm talking with completely different person.

He's so different now. So jolly, easy-going and understanding. Did his past really had that awful impact on him? Did it really shaped him into a man who was ready to ruin everything that stood in his way. Why was he not like this before? Why am I so unlucky and unsatisfied with my life. Agreed he had a bad past, but that doesn't gave him a right to ruin anyone's life. But he did it without any remorse. And when he fell in love with me, he didn't asked how I felt, he just declared that I'm his. When he thought I was betraying him by sleeping with someone else, he didn't confront me, he just declared that I'm no more needed in his life. Why did I suffered everything? And why doesn't he remembers anything?

I hate the fact that only I remember those horrible memories. He can smile, he can laugh, he can sleep peacefully, he can live his life as if nothing had happened. But I, along with the past that haunts me to this date, I now have my son to take care of. Does God hates me that much? And is he God's favourite?

Why don't I have the same luck as him!? Why didn't I lost my memories!? Seeing him so fucking happy, every inside of me burns in jealousy. He doesn't have any right to be happy after destroying my life. I hate him.

I hate you, Kabir Raichand. I hate you so much!

When I reached home, Reyansh was beside me within a minute. I felt like crying. I don't cry. I never did after that horrible night except the day when I learnt about Reyansh's cancer. But today, as if every buried emotion was ready to tumble out in a mess. I can't let myself get weak. I can't cry pathetically.

"Reyansh, go inside your room.", Ma said and I looked at her with a frown.

He didn't obey. He was latched onto my lap like a cute panda.

"Pooja, take him inside.", Ma said and she nodded before grabbing his small body and hoisting him up. She strolled inside and Ma immediately made me turn to face her.

I looked blankly at her.

"Let it out."

"What?"

"I can see you need it.", She whispered and I chuckled humorlessly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Rivaah, did something happened there? Why do you look so sad? Cry if you need to, my sweet child.", She cooed and caressed my cheek.

A tear rolled down and she caught it with her thumb. She nodded in encouragement and I took a deep breath before bursting out in a mess of salty tears.

"Why is God so unfair, Ma.", I whispered as I wrapped my arms around her neck, clinging onto her to hide my tears.

"What happened, baccha? Tell me. Talk to me.", She whispered as she soothingly rubbed my back.

"He's so happy and I'm struggling here to make everything right for my son. He's enjoying his life and I'm here trying to take down the hurdles that are preventing me from living.", I sobbed as I tightened my arms around her. I feel so defeated today. So utterly defeated. As if all the struggle and hardships I did to get here are nothing. After seeing him so normal and cheerful, it felt like my life was mocking me on my face. As if everyone around me was laughing at me and my pathetic fate.

"That's the truth of life, Rivaah. While one is wasting food, the other one is sleeping empty stomach. While one is being rained under money, other is struggling to meet the ends. While one has everything available but disregard it as nothing, the other is wishing for the same day and night. That's the life, Rivaah. It's not same for everyone. But know that God gave you struggles because he knows how strong you are. He believes that you'll overcome everything and still stand strong. He's not unfair. He just knows that his weak child might need more attention.", She said and I stubbornly shook my head.

"My baby is not strong enough to tackle all this, Ma! He's so fucking unfair and brutal. I hate him!", I snapped as I sat straight and angrily wiped my tears.

"I can understand. But know that he's watching. And once the time comes, he'll definitely help you. Just be patient. Just be honest. He loves honest and sincere kids."

"That Kabir Raichand seems exception!", I spat out in disgust.

"Temper will take you nowhere, Rivaah. Remember that the best fighter is never angry.", She said before pushing the wet strands behind and offering me a glass of water.

I took the water she offered and drank it immediately. After taking in a deep breath, I placed glass back down on table and leaned back to get more comfortable.

"Are you fine now?", She asked worriedly.

"I'm fine, Ma.", I smiled in assurance.

She left to complete her pending kitchen work and I headed to my room. Reyansh was taking a nap when I entered and crawled beside him.

Sensing my presence, he immediately turned to my side and snuggled closer.

"Mommy?", He whispered softly.

"Hmm?"

"We're in India. Right?"

"Hmm.", I hummed again, too tired to reply.

"Daddy lives here too.", He mumbled and I realized where this conversation was going.

"Please, Reyansh. I'm tired right now."

"Do you hate daddy, Mommy?", He asked and I consider of lying to him.

"What if I say yes?"

"I'll ask why.", He answered immediately.

"And what if I say I don't want to tell you the reason?"

"Is he a bad person?"

"He's not. At least not for his loved ones.", I replied honestly.

"We don't count in his loved ones?"

"Sleep, Rey.", I sighed before tightening my arms around him and pulling the duvet to cover us till shoulders. I heard him sigh defeatedly before he cocooned himself in my arms and eventually fell asleep.

By the time I woke up, it was already seven. I immediately readied myself and checked my phone to see if I've any unread text. He had already texted me at five. Booking an Uber, I said goodbye to everyone before heading out. The cab was already waiting for me when I reached down.

Telling the driver address, I leaned back comfortably and stared out of window.

Nothing has changed. The city still looks the same. Busy and crowded. All focused in their own life. Repeating the same schedule every day. The busy trains, crowded streets, traffic, everything is as same as before. I wonder if only I changed. If only my life made me go through all that shit. And even though I want to curse out aloud and blame the accusations of my sufferings on God, I can't. I received the most beautiful gift along that painful journey and I won't change it for world.

"We're here, Ma'am.", I flinched before nodding. Stepping out, I paid him through Paytm before thanking him and heading inside the classy Italian restaurant.

I spotted him almost immediately. He was still wearing the same suit but looked more up kept than before.

"Hi.", I said as I came front to face him. He smiled and quickly got up to pull chair for me.

"Thanks.", I mumbled before sitting down.

"I hope it wasn't hassle to come here?", He asked as he leaned front, resting his arms on the white round table.

"Not at all.", I said. "I hope I wasn't late."

"No. I just came early.", He chuckled and called the waiter.

While having dinner, he kept the conversation going. I didn't know about what to talk with him, so I stayed quiet while he did the most talking.

"I need to make something very clear, Mr. Raichand.", I said and he gave me his utmost attention.

"Yes?"

"I'm not looking for a relationship.", I said bluntly and he looked taken aback.

"What do you mean?", His brows furrowed together.

"I'm just looking for some fun. That's it. Please don't keep any expectations from me.", I said as I finished the pudding and placed my spoon back on the plate.

"Fun? And what is your definition of fun?"

"Sex.", I shrugged. He looked flabbergasted.

"Sex?", His eyes showed disbelief.

"Yes.", I nodded.

"Is that all? I mean, I thought you like me.", He left the pudding unfinished.

"I do. But sexually.", I cleared the doubt.

"So nothing more than that?", He asked and I shook my head.

"No."

"I'm sorry then. I'm not interested.", He answered almost immediately. My fist clenched under the table but I kept my calm. Fuck! This cannot happen! What the hell is wrong with this man!? Was he not all about sex before!? I thought this will be easy like a pie.

"Suits you.", I shrugged but I was panicking inside. "Waiter! The bill please.", I called out loudly.

"I'll pay."

"You don't need to. I'll pay my half.", I said before putting the cash along with the tip before slinging my handbag around my shoulder and getting up. "It was nice knowing you. Hope this won't get between our work.", I said and excused myself politely.

I couldn't sleep that night. Everything spinned around my head like a ferries wheel, making me dizzy. Reyansh's cancer, his treatment, Kabir's rejection. I felt like I was stuck in a never ending loop of problems.

The next day I arrived at Khanna Industries after my appointment with Dr. Rajat.

"Morning, Miss. Verma.", The HR manager, Jay Mehra, greeted me with a smile.

"Are you joining us for the meeting?", I asked as we entered elevator.

"Not really, I'm just told to escort you personally.", I gave him a look of disbelief.

"Okay, I was just joking. I'm told to attend the meeting along with everyone else.", He said and I nodded.

Jay is a nice person. A little flirty but overall a nice person to have a conversation with. He was the one who made me familiar with everything in this company when I first arrived here as an Advertising Head. So he's fun to work with.

As soon as I stepped out, I noticed Kabir standing along with Uncle Raghav.

"Rivaah, come dear. The meeting room is ready.", Uncle Raghav said walking towards me and he turned around. His eyes met mine and I sent him a polite smile. He forced a smile back.

We all gathered inside and took our designated seats. The meeting began with Uncle Raghav taking the initiative to talk about the merging of two teams and then Kabir did his part. Both the teams looked convinced enough.

I was mostly distracted with Jay's constant input in between the speeches of both the bosses, not that I was annoyed, but someone else definitely was. In fact he looked pissed off.

I decided to play along.

"Oh wow!", I said when Jay detailed me about every individual team member's skill and speciality.

When I looked back at Kabir, he was glaring hard at the man sitting beside me. His eyes met mine and it felt as if I was looking at the old Kabir again. His onyx eyes held wildfire within their confines. His jaw was clenched and hands were curled up in a tight fists. I smiled innocently and noticed him gritting his teeth in what seemed like annoyance and absolute anger.

"I would like to take you out somewhere.", That came as a surprise. I turned wide eyed to face Jay and he nodded with a smile.

"Oh okay.", I chuckled and took the chit over which he had scribbled his phone number on. He could have typed it on my phone's dial pad.

Uncle Raghav declared the end of the meeting and we all headed out. After talking with every team member personally, I headed towards elevator. But before I could step inside, I was grabbed by my elbow and dragged to the farthest corner, away from all the prying eyes.

"Yes, Mr. Raichand?", I asked as I snatched my arm from his grip and crossed my hands across my chest.

He pulled my hand out forcefully and made me open my fist. Grabbing the crumpled chit, he crushed it before throwing it in some dark corner.

"Tonight at eight. I'll send my driver to get you.", He said as his eyes raked up and down my body before stopping to meet my eyes. He stared at me for few more seconds before stepping back and walking away.

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