A little less than an hour later, Claire found herself climbing the narrow wooden staircase that lead up to Alek's attic haven. She had bathed and changed into a warm, practical dress of dark blue wool and had even gone to the kitchen to procure herself something to eat.

Upon Ms. Avery's insistence, Claire had left with a plate piled high with cold ham, cheese, fruit and some bread, most of it consumed by the time she reached the top of the landing.

"Alek?" She called out, tapping lightly on the door with her knuckles.

"Come in, Claire," Alek called out and Claire used her shoulder to guide the door open enough that she could slip into the room.

She was startled by how messy the room looked, considering its naturally disheveled state. Alek stood amidst stacks of books and papers he has pulled off the bookshelves lining the walls.

"Doing some spring cleaning?" Claire asked, amazed at how much had been crammed in such small spaces.

"Looking for something," Alek replied, his voice slightly muffled. "I know it's here-- ahah!"

Alek emerged from behind the mess with a thin black book in his hands.

"Oh good, you're eating," he said, stealing a grape from her plate.

"Ms. Avery was very insistent that I take it all," she said.

"She's a hard working, wonderful woman," Alek said, "she never had any children of her own so she has always treated me and Arabella as family. I keep encouraging her to retire, but she refuses. She seems to think the house will come crashing down if she isn't here to tend to it."

Claire quirked a brow. "Who knows, maybe it would," she teased.

Alek smirked but said nothing. Instead he moved to sit on the green chaise and patted the space beside him. Claire moved to join him, balancing the plate on her lap and watching as Alek began to flip through the book.

He stopped about midway through and showed her a page filled with faded black and white images.

"This is Sonja," he said, pointing to a picture in the bottom corner. It was of the same girl she had seen in the drawing earlier. In the photograph, the girl was pointing at something out of frame, smiling brightly, clearly amused by whatever she was seeing.

"She went to school with Draz and I. We were all very close, but Sonja... she was special," Alek continued and Claire saw a hint of a blush creeping up his neck. "She was so full of life and energy, so eager to push the boundaries, to go places no one else dared. It was what attracted us to her in the first place."

Claire was quiet, her eyes moving from the picture to Alek's face. His expression was distant, as though he had gone to some far off place where Claire was unable to follow.

"Draz was smitten with her from the start," Alek said with a faint smirk. "He's never been subtle about those sorts of things and would fall in love with a girl if she showed the smallest amount of interest. Sonja was the sort of girl who was used to having boys following her around like lost puppies. I was too focused on my studies to think about girls and romance. Looking back I'm certain that's why she paid attention to me at all. It bothered her that she wasn't the center of my world."

He closed the book and set it aside, then he took the plate and set it aside as well. "Come on," he said, holding out his hand towards her.

She took it and followed Alek towards the back of the room where a large, round window let moonlight filter in from the sky above. Climbing along the back wall were a set of wrought iron stairs that Claire hadn't noticed before.

Alek motioned for her to go ahead, the stairs being too narrow for them to walk up side by side.

"At first I resented her, she was always bothering me, interrupting my studies, making it difficult to get anything done," Alek continued from behind her. He chuckled. "But Sonja, she was a force to be reckoned with and always got what she wanted. Despite my best efforts, I'm only human and at fifteen it was flattering that a girl wanted to spend that much time with me."

They reached the top of the landing and he reached past Claire to flip a latch. This allowed him to push open a small door that lead out onto a narrow, railed ledge.

"It's alright, it's perfectly safe," Alek assured her when she hesitated. Nodding, Claire stepped out and Alek followed. He closed the door behind him and lowered himself to sit on the slanting rooftop.

He motioned for Claire to join him, patting the empty space beside him.

She did, carefully lowering herself to sit.

"What do you think? You're the first person I've ever brought up here," Alek said quietly, pausing for a moment in his tale. "If you look there you can see the gates we came through," he motioned to the right. Sure enough Claire caught sight of the familiar glowing orbs of light that hung suspended in the air.

"If you look over there you can see the lower district, and there you can see the theatre. Would you like to go to the theatre? I can take you if you'd like."

"That sounds lovely, Alek," Claire replied with a light smile.

"This girl, Sonja, did she come between you and Draz?" Claire asked, "Is that the reason you two bicker the way you do?"

Since she no longer seemed to be in the picture, it seemed strange to hold such a grudge for so long.

Alek sighed and turned his eyes skyward. "I'm afraid it's more complicated than that."

"How so?"

"Like I said, when Sonja wanted something, Sonja did whatever she had to do to get it," Alek replied. "She wasn't above being petty and even cruel if it served her needs, and I could see the way she used Draz, the way he was so eager to please her. It should have made me angry, and it did, just not at Sonja. I was jealous of Draz, even if I wouldn't admit it. Looking back, I think that is exactly what Sonja was hoping for."

"Sonja wasn't one to take no for an answer," Alek continued. "She tried to get Draz and I to do a spell, a dangerous spell," he looked at her pointedly, "one I have a feeling you are quite familiar with. She wanted to enter Aevitis, for no other reason than to see if she could. She tried to get me to help, but I refused. She and Draz decided to do it anyway. He's always been something of an idiot, but I never took him for a fool. But Sonja, all she had to do was pout and bat her eyes and Draz couldn't tell her no. He would have done anything for her, especially if he feared denying her would cause her to seek what she wanted elsewhere."

"What happened?" Claire asked, though she had a sinking feeling she already knew what Alek was going to say.

"It's not the sort of magic they teach second year students," Alek said, "It takes years of dedication to the craft, or access to the proper documentation, before access to such spells is granted. So, Draz stole the book with the incantation in it from the headmaster's personal library," Alek continued. "They managed to open the gate and Sonja... she... well, she never came back."

Recalling her own experience in the surreal realm of Aevitis, the thought of what might have happened to Sonja caused Claire to shiver. Had she gotta caught in the river? Had she gotten discovered by the Mare and been unable to escape?

Perhaps she had simply lost herself in a memory.

Whatever had happened, it was clear the guilt of it weighed heavily on Alek's conscious.

"I take it you blamed Draz," Claire concluded quietly.

Alek took a deep, steadying breath. "I was angry with him for a long time, but I was also angry at myself, and at Sonja for manipulating the both of us," he said at last. "I should have tried harder to stop them, I should have told a teacher, done anything, but I selfishly hoped they would try and fail. I never thought anyone was going to get hurt, that anyone would..." he paused as though he were trying to find the right words, when he did speak again, the subject had shifted, "...Draz was expelled from the Academy shortly there after."

Claire reached out and took his hand, her fingers lacing through his own.

"You can't blame yourself, or Draz," she said. "It is horrible what happened, but you were all kids, none of you could have any idea of what you were getting into. Sonja's death and Draz getting expelled were not your fault."

Alek offered her a rueful smile which faded as quickly as it had appeared.

"That's not entirely true," he admitted. "Draz didn't get expelled because of what happened with Sonja, though it certainly was a black mark on his record. In the end her death was deemed accidental, and Draz was put on probation. Any more mistakes and that was it, no more chances, he would kicked out."

"I was so angry and at the time I felt like he had gotten away with murder," Alek said quietly. "So I snuck into the headmaster's chambers and I stole a special deck of summoning cards."

"Oh, Alek," Claire gasped realizing what he had done.

"I'm not proud, Claire," he said softly. "Draz discovered me standing in the middle of his room, clutching the cards in my hands as I agonized over what I was planning to do. I had intended to hide them, to let the headmaster find them and think Draz had taken them, but Draz ... he was the only person who had never expected anything from me, to him I was just Alek, the boy who tried too hard."

"To everyone else, I was Ephraim Drosselmeyer's son, destined to become the next head adviser to the king. Draz didn't care about titles, or wealth, or prestige. He lived for the magic, for the thrill of it, I'd never seen anyone so in touch with it, and I both admired and hated him because of it," Alek sighed and closed his eyes.

"If you didn't hide the cards, then what happened?" Claire asked, her heart thudding painfully in her chest.

"Well, Draz knew, I don't know how, but he knew, and would you believe that he didn't even get angry?" Alek said, looking towards her. "He just sighed and for the first time since I had met him, he simply looked disappointed."

"It was a look I was quite used to," Alek said solemnly. "You know how I told you that everyone expected great things from me? Well, that isn't entirely true, you see, my father, I managed to routinely disappoint him."

"Aren't you going to say something? That's what I asked him," Alek shook his head, "Do you know what he said to me? He said, do what you need to do if it will make you feel better. The worst part? He meant it, it was the most sincere I had ever seen him. It made me so angry, not at Draz, but at myself for being such a fool. I decided to bring the cards back. I figured if I returned them before anyone figured out they were missing, all would be well. I might have ruined my friendship with Draz, but he would be able to finish school doing what he loved."

"Did you?" Claire asked.

"I never got the chance," Alek took a deep breath and Claire could tell that recalling the events of that day was taking its toll on him. She also felt that he needed to get it out, to get it all off his chest, if he was ever going to figure out a way to make things right with Draz. "Unknown to me, the headmaster had put a tracking spell on all the items in his office after the book had gone missing, it alerted him the moment something was removed and revealed its location."

"When the headmaster saw me with the cards, he assumed I had caught Draz in the act, no one would have believed one of the top students in the school had resorted to thievery. Something inside me snapped and I realized that I had unwittingly given myself the opportunity to bring the great Ephraim Drosselmeyer to his knees. If I got expelled and kicked out of school, I would be free to do whatever I pleased. Free to go wherever I wanted."

"I was near giddy at the thought, but when I stepped forward to take the blame, Draz did something that, to this day, I will never forget," Alek continued, "he took the fall. He lied and told the headmaster exactly what the headmaster already assumed, that I had caught him in the act and that he had been the one who had stolen the cards."

Claire felt her heart squeeze in her chest and tears burned in the corners of her eyes.

"I was so mad, mad that he had ruined his own chances, mad that he had stolen my chance at freedom, for you see, I would never be brave enough to act out in my own interests," Alek said with a hollow laugh, "so I hit him. I punched him square between the eyes. He rushed me and we hit the floor, grappling and attempting to land whatever blows we could manage. We were eventually pulled apart and at some point during the scuffle, Draz managed to get the cards."

"I suppose if he was going to take the blame for the crime, he felt he might as well commit it," Alek explained. "He managed to evade the headmaster's attempts to detain him and it would be ten years before our paths crossed again. By then he was using magic to con rich men out of their coin, stealing with slight of hand what he couldn't wrangle out of them in his rigged games of chance."

"Do you still blame him?" Claire asked at last, reaching out to take hold of his hand. She laced her fingers through his and squeezed. "For Sonja?"

"No," Alek said softly, "I haven't for a long time."

"Does he know that?"

"It's not something that exactly comes up in casual conversation..." Alek replied, glancing towards her.

"No, but I think you need to talk to him, he's likely still holding onto a lot of guilt," Claire said thoughtfully.

"I'm not sure if it's that easy, it's been so long, I'm not even sure what to say," Alek admitted.

"The best you can do is try, maybe you'll be surprised at how easy it really is," Claire offered. "It's better than living with regrets, trust me. My mother, she died of cancer when I was twelve. I was so angry at her for leaving me, and I carried that anger with me for a long time. My grandparents tried to connect with me, and I pushed them away at every turn. I was terrified of getting close to anyone. I didn't want to feel that pain again. Eventually, slowly, I was able to let them into my heart."

Alek was quiet, watching her sad eyes that made her feel exposed and vulnerable, but she kept going. "When I was seventeen my grandmother got sick. I couldn't watch her die like I had watched my mother, so I ran away. I wasn't there when she passed, and I was too ashamed to attend her funeral. About six months after she died my grandfather showed up at my apartment. He had been trying to get me to come back, but I'd been ignoring his calls. I suddenly found myself confronted with everything I had been running away from and I was angrier than ever that he had intruded uninvited into my live."

"He didn't stay long, he just left a book, a journal my grandmother had kept," Claire continued. "I didn't touch it, not even to move it from the side table where he left it. Three days went by and all I could think about was the book. Finally I relented, I read the book from cover to cover twice that first night. The writing was simple, and straightforward. In it my grandmother had chronicled her life, written about her fears and her dreams, what she liked and what she hated. As I read it I felt closer to my grandmother than I had ever felt to any one. I realized we had shared the same anger over my mother's death, the same struggles, and the same heartache. I thought I was the only one being crushed under the weight of her passing, but I wasn't alone."

"The last few pages, the ones written just before she passed, were filled with her hopes and dreams for me. She hoped I would find peace, that I would find love and happiness, that I wouldn't let the pain of the past hold me back," Claire offered him a sad smile. "I called my grandfather the next day and asked him to bring me to my grandmother's grave. It was hard, but I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders."

"Claire... I don't know what to say..." Alek said quietly, his hand coming to rest against the curve of her cheek.

"Talk to Draz," she encouraged. "Chances are, he is grieving too."

Alek nodded, his fingers lancing through hers. "I'll try," he said softly, not sounding particularly confident. "I don't know what good it will do, but I'll try."