Self-restraint. Overwhelming longing just about costed this doctor to seriously think about doing something that could destroy my new license for practicing medicine.

It may be pathetic really it has been over a full day but there is nothing more I want than to be with Jack and Nicolas. The new year is just about upon us and I want to spend it with them desperately. That lead me to thinking how I could get their address by just looking at that area of his chart, but it breaks so many rules and laws it isn't even funny.

If I have to then I will just stand at the Jack's photography place if they are not wanting for me outside the hospital. I just need to see them one more time if they decided to move on and Jack doesn't want to date me. That could be understandable to for me because I would be just a bad reminder of all the hard times that Nicolas went through and they may not want to truly be connected with me outside of here. Even if words said differently before they left.

"Dinner tonight at your place as normal?" Jewels comes up to the counter while I get back to work on a chart.

"Sure." I smile, trying to get my head just to focus on the patients I have here that need my help.

"Where did you go this morning? It is not like you to ask for a small break from the other nurses." It hits me how she wanted a five minute break.

"I just had a phone call that I couldn't miss and I really needed a breath of fresh air." Jewels answers nonchantly, while finishing up her daily charting.

Within in no time the charts are finished for the day. I have briefed the night physician, which found out they have hired another for the pediatric floor from out of town but it will ease us up to where we can actually have days off through the week.

"Give me a bit and I will pick up some pizza and be over." Jewels grabs her bags just as I step up to the counter again.

"Sounds good. I just have to grab my things and I will headed home then. See you soon, sis." I smile.

My mood is still melancholy. Now my heart just hurts a little more as I walk out of the hospital and the guys are no where to be seen.

Sure through the day I smile at patients but that is a must and besides I am seeing kids they need a doctor that smiles and not someone who looks mean. It is just a massive switch that gets flipped. When in work the personal things are there but at minimum levels. Then off work it just hits harder than in the mornings because you have been surpressing it for work.

I unlock my front door and know that Jewels will be here in the next few minutes, just closing it to and leaving it unlocked for her to walk in. My shoes get removed first then I dash to the bedroom, because I am getting in some comfy warm clothes.

Why don't i turn the theromstate up is beyond me, but it saves on money. I am not really home during the day since my hours are over the place on when I get days off, so the comforter keeps me warm at night. That is a thing too at least the schedule will be more of a normal one with them finally hiring other doctors for our floor to where there is three of us during the day and can make schedules on when we work and days we are off.

The door bell sounds off and I look up to the ceiling.

"Really Jewels?" I say out loud and get out of the blanket I already bundled myself into on the couch waiting for her to walk in, but she goes and hits the door bell.

I round the corner and look through the glass on my door, but stop in my tracks temporarily. Until it hits me that is two bodies and one is smaller. Hope blooms in me so much that the funny looking figures are Jack and Nicolas. I see a hand wave it looks like as my feet take off so fast that my socks has me siding more than anything on this hardwood flooring.

Making it to the door, I jerk it open and it slides me back a little more again with these fuzzy socks.

"Hi Holly."" Jack smiles.

Nicolas barrels right into me and I slide back with his arms around my waist in a tight hug. I wrap my arms around him too as we start to go down to the floor. Jack steps inside quickly and doesn't have time to catch us with his hands full.

My butt hits the floor harsh as Nicolas falls in my lap. I don't have a care in the world that I may have a bruise bottom later because right now I got Nicolas in my arms again and can see his smiling face.

Jack closes the door with his foot and places bags on the table next to my purse. He laughs as he moves behind me and just simply picks me up with Nicolas not letting go.

"Surprise." Jack whispers in my ear.

"What a wonderful surprise it is too." I look back to see his smile and lips close to me.

With a little more turn of my head my lips find Jack's as Nicolas still clings tight around my waist in front of me. Jack's hands move and one cups my cheek that is not against my shoulder and the other pulls my upper body against him in almost a hug around my shoulders.

When Jack and I break the kiss, he wipes my eyes as tears have started pouring with the happiness this surpise has made me.

"Now I feel complete." I whisper as Jack's brown eyes looks down into mine.

I feel his hand around my shoulders drops and holds onto Nicolas with me.

"Me too." Jack smiles at me.

"I missed you so much Holly." Nicolas sighs into my stomach, as his hands tighten in my shirt on my back.