《Theory [TOM HOLLAND]》SIXTY SEVEN
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the golden trio
guys do you hear that rustling in the kitchen
it's 5am what are they doing
oh my god the raccoons are back
it's not the raccoons ian
you don't understand what those slippery bastards took from me
what did they take
physically? 4 banana peels a hot pocket wrapper and half of my flip flop
emotionally? everything
guys chill it's just me
mel what the heck are you doing
making taffy
what the fuck
mel it's 5am
no it's taffy time
oh my god is this like the lemon bars
that was different
you made 64 lemon bars in an hour then cried for 2 days and napped through the third
if you're making desserts in excess you're teetering on the brink of a nervous breakdown
guys i'm fine!
you're making taffy at 5am
because i love candy!
you hate candy
you said it "causes cavities"
yeah ian it does
false accusations
i won't tolerate your slander of a delicious and beloved treat
well i eat tons of candy so
you take multivitamins
they're gummy multivitamins
something doesn't add up here
taffy is fun
mel is not
i'm fun
i watched a documentary about tax returns the other day
pretty wild
how much taffy did you make
like a lot
hell yeah
no ian
mel is clearly going through an emotional breakdown
we are not going to enable her and eat her candy
i'm fine
i only made 9 different flavors
oh my god
do we call someone
what flavors
ian focus
i am focused
on the massive amounts of free candy next door
mel why don't you back away from the taffy and tell us what's wrong
i'm totally fine
i think
maybe
do you hear that??
the raccoons ARE back
i can hear them yowling
still me
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oh no she's moved into the crying phase
there's so much taffy
what have i done
i just wanted to take my mind off things
what things
i don't know
MIT decisions come out tomorrow and i think i'm in love with tom and getting in means i don't get to be with him but getting in is my dream
wait do you hear that
ian is choking violently
let me go deliver the heimlich
continue
WHAT THE FUCK
YOU
I
WHAT
FUCK
you both seem very calm
i can't say i'm surprised
my inner eye told me you were
also i hid under the bed and listened in on your call with june
you what
so back to emotional turmoil
why can't you be with tom?
if i get into MIT i have to move across the entire country
he'll be in los angeles
but what about long distance???
i don't think i could do that to him
he deserves someone who can be there for him
how do i yell bullshit at the top of my lungs but in a nice way
it's not bullshit
yes it is that boy has been hopelessly in love with you for years
and he should be with someone who can love him like that too
if i get into MIT my career is going to be the most important thing in my life
i won't have time for anything or anyone else
wait guys not to interrupt but i really hear something this time
THE RACCOONS
THEY'RE HERE
THEY CAME FOR THE TAFFY AND REVENGE
i can't believe there's only 3 chapters of this fic left. (ps: if i do another social media fic who do you guys want to see?)
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