private messages

hey

☺️

did you just send me an emoji

what's going on

what do you want from me

it's just an emoji

what i can't express myself now

if i had a nickel for every time you sent an emoji and i ended up spending the night in jail i'd have 2 nickels

which isn't a lot but it's still worrying that it happened twice

all i asked was your help moving the sofa

i didn't KNOW it had drugs hidden in it

what about when you sent me the cactus emoji and i ended up hundreds of dollars in debt

or the peace sign?

i never recovered from the emotional toll

i can go on and on

something no girlfriend of yours has ever said

haha high five

what why would i high five you for decimating my self esteem

for funsies?

i'm out

wait i'm sorry

this is nothing like the other times

this favor comes at no price

i just need you to dance

i mean i can cha cha real smooth but why

i need a dance partner for june and seb's wedding

wait but what about that tom guy

why don't you just take him

aren't you guys together

WHAT hahaha

no

that's ridiculous

right i forgot the only lasting relationship you've ever had was with a cup of pudding

pudding treats me right okay

pun intended

ugh puns

am i going to have to endure that all night

title of your sex tape

i'm out again

no wait

i really need a date

i can't take tom

why not

i just can't

hm

the wedding has free food

really?

yes

one dance and the bottomless buffet is yours to plunder

okay i'll do it

really free food is all it takes

we men are simple creatures

it's good to know you consider yourself a man

it's not like you can't eat cilantro because it's too spicy

i have a sensitive palate

whatever i'll see you there

do i have to wear a tux

no arjun please show up in your taylor swift pajamas

done

private messages

got my date

arjun and i are going to put your moves to shame

fuck

[deleted]

private messages

hey!

i know we don't talk much but i was hoping you could help me with something

hi!

also yes of course i'm here to help!!

so

mel is taking arjun to the wedding

oh

i don't really know what to do with myself

sweetie i'm sorry

mel is...mel

she can be kind of an idiot she doesn't know what she's doing i promise

isn't that worse somehow

she doesn't even care enough about me to realize how much she's hurting me

mel cares about you

more than you would believe

so why is she going to the wedding with her ex boyfriend and i'm going alone?

i don't know

i don't understand what goes on in mel's head half the time but i'm sure she has a good reason

right

anyways about that favor

i kind of need a date to the wedding

do you know anyone?

hmm

hey what about nina?

she thinks you're really nice and she also took 2 months of tap dance so she'll probably kill it on the dance floor

but isn't she one of mel's friends?

wouldn't mel be mad

i don't know

do you want to make her a little mad?

is typing...

what's nina's number

private messages

got my date :)

tessa doesn't count i hate to break it to you

nope it's a real human girl

oh really?

who

nina

she's so nice and cute and she really wanted to go

wait what

oh wait sorry is that okay with you?

i mean you don't mind right

no why would i

sounds great

yup

so arjun and i will see you there then i guess

nina and i can't wait

good

good

i've never written such a passive aggressive conversation in my life jeez. i actually really hate this chapter but i'm too lazy to edit so enjoy your garbage everyone.

i've extended the deadline for the contest to june 4! a couple people pmed me asking for more time so it's yours for the taking. (also i forgot about the deadline lmao) enjoy! i can't wait to see what you guys make