private messages

hey

i didn't steal the bean sprouts

huh?

oh i just automatically assumed i was in trouble

you're not

but i do think it's time for a chat

i think the fuck not

mel

what

you don't think i've noticed what's been going on??

oh so you know about the bean sprout thief then

number one: you already exposed yourself as the bean sprout thief in your very first text

junebug

number two: bean sprouts? really?

number three: that's not what i'm talking about and you know it

oh no no we're not meming

not today mel

i'm serious

i'm here to help you mel but there's two parts to play here

i don't know what happened between you and tom because you won't tell me but i know it hurt you

so whenever you're ready i'm here

i hate it when you do that

do what

be mature and caring it's infuriating

i just wanted to fuck around and send some memes

so you're ready to talk?

is typing...

you know what

why not

every time i keep this shit inside and all it does is eat me up

and this time hurt more than most

so yeah maybe it would be good to talk for once

thank god

is typing...

mel what even happened?

you and tom were so close and then the next thing i knew you weren't even speaking

we got in a fight

a big one

i don't know if i can ever take back what i said june

what were you even fighting about

he kissed another girl

on one hand tom is dead to me forever and i'm going to feed his ashes to bucky the cat

on the other hand

you know you can't technically get mad at him for that if you claim you don't like him

don't be logical june you sound ridiculous

maybe you would feel better if you triedbeing the bigger person and just moving past it

i'm 5'1 and bitter

tom can be the bigger person

you can't really hold a grudge against him if you say you don't feel anything for him

i'm not holding a grudge against him

i don't even hold grudges

my father held grudges

i'll always resent him for that

is that even what you were really fighting about

i'm not really sure

i mean that part really hurt june

and i wasn't expecting it to

i didn't think i would care so much but i did

but i don't think that's what we were fighting about

is typing...

i don't know how to describe it

i wasn't even mad

i was just scared

i don't know

didn't it scare you when you were friends with seb and you just woke up one day and realized he knew you better than anyone else

maybe more than you did yourself

yes

but i was in love with seb

oh my god

no

oh my god

no

that's not the same thing

OH MY GOD

june

YOU TOTALLY WANT TO PUT IT IN TOM

june no

YOU LIKE TOM

i don't

i just want to be his friend again

please

i'm serious

if you think i haven't picked out the color of the napkins for your wedding reception (pale yellow) you're wrong but fine

why don't you apologize

how am i supposed to apologize after everything i said and did

listen i always say when one door closes another door opens

no it doesn't

not unless the two doors are connected by relays or there are motion sensors involved or if the first door closing created a change of air pressure that acts upon the second door

mel with all due respect one of these days i'm going break your toes with a walnut cracker

well i feel respected

as i was saying

not all hope is lost

you still have a chance

we just need a plan

ooo are we planning

hang on i need to get ready

what are you going to do

grab my supplies and eat some pudding

pudding solves nothing

no june

yogurt solves nothing

pudding can do it all

i mean okay

anyway how are you going to win back tom's heart

is typing...

i think i might have a plan

it's not a great plan but it is a mel plan

well if you're happy with it i'm happy with it

is typing...

hey june?

yeah?

thank you

what are doing

are you showing me gratitude and affection

is someone holding you at gunpoint

no i'm fine

just

i love you

a lot

mel

you're my best friend in the whole world i don't know what i would do without you

okay that's enough i'm starting to have to make weekly visits to my dermatologists for my hives

okay

and remember mel

you will machete your way through this

*make

fuck please don't machete your way through this

too late

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME IT FUCKING SNOWS IN LONDON I ONLY OWN FLIP FLOPS AND I LEAVE IN 2 DAYS AHHHHHHH