the golden trio

it's wednesday night

i'm aware

wednesday nights are supposed to be family dinner nights

and yet i'm down here alone

what did you make for dinner

why

just trying to figure out how elaborate my lie has to be to avoid it

listen i made quinoa and we're having a nice family dinner in the common room

it's not up for discussion

ugh kara stop feeding us healthy grains

yeah hard pass

your grains cause me pains

this is for your benefit mel

what do you mean

i thought a nice home cooked meal and your two friends would cheer you up

you thought permanently destabilizing my small intestine and forcing to spend time with ian would make me feel better?

excuse me

listen

ever since you started learning magic you've been insufferable

paul rudd said it was cool so it's cool

you disappear from every decathlon meeting in a cloud of smoke

yeah which is fucking COOL

you're just jealous that my bedroom is where the magic happens

and by that you mean where you practice magic

yeah what else

i don't have time for this

what don't you have time for mel?

your friends?

that's not what i meant

wasn't it though

we never see you anymore

kara's right

you've gone full hermit

last time you left the library someone took a picture and put it on twitter like a bigfoot sighting

i was hoping tonight we could spend some time together

you never even spend time in our room

maybe that's because you do yoga half naked and burn sage all the time

that's definitely not sage

okay so i'm not as studious or controlling or whatever

that doesn't mean we can't hang out

i am not controlling

at the the beginning of decathlon meetings you find out what time everyone arrived and then make them form a single file line from earliest to latest and the latest person gets fined

okay fine i'm type a

don't call me controlling call me type a

if i point out the irony of that statement how bad will you hurt me

how bad was shrek the musical

that bad huh?

ian back me up here

kara's right mel

you don't spend time with people and you're sad

and you're shutting us out of your life

i'm not sad

i'm busy

how many times do we have to go over the difference

until we believe you

my application to MIT's grad program is due tomorrow that's why i've been working so hard okay

you only think you're busy mel

really you've just been throwing yourself into your work to avoid what's really bothering you

what really bothers me is institutionalized racism and people who don't push in their chairs not tom

nobody mentioned tom

OHOHOHOHO

i KNEW this was about tom

sorry i told him about the part of your conversation i overheard

you spied on me??

we share a room!

i'm allowed to be in there

i just happened to be there while you were on the phone

and while i was wearing black and hiding in the closet so you wouldn't see me

i'm going to put a lock on the door

i'll pick it

since when can you pick locks

since i got locked in the art studio over the holiday weekend

it was awful i had to survive off saltines and the moisture of ms. ruben's desk cactus

right

okay

anyway you're not off the hook

tell us what happened with tom

can we please not talk about this

we just had a fight that's all

who cares

we care

what he means is we care about YOU

gross you know affection gives me a rash

are you trying to give me a skin affliction on purpose

no i'm trying to be supportive

i love u

i love u 2

even though their last album received a considerable amount of criticism

mel be serious

listen i can't make dinner okay?

i'm sorry

i have to work

come on mel

see you guys tomorrow

will we?

mel

just let her go kara

i'm trying to show mel being sad without making things sad because this fic is supposed to be funny not angsty but it's HARD