nerd nation

hello mel

welcome to your intervention

what?

we're going to fix your problems through the power of community spirit and love!

we're here for you

we know the past few weeks have been rough for you

but we're starting to worry

don't take this the wrong way but you're kind of falling apart

what are you talking about i'm fine

you're not

all you do is study

yeah you were in the library for 8 entire hours on sunday

scott and i timed it

you didn't even take a single snack break it was kind of impressive

remy

stay on topic please

you don't sleep

you don't speak to people anymore

that's not true

the librarian doesn't count

that's slightly more true then

you've cut us all out of your life

you're supposed to be our captain and you haven't spoken to anyone or scheduled any meetings

i'm sorry i've been busy

no you've been hiding

what's going on with you mel?

you can talk to us

i mean not reyna obviously

yeah she'll definitely sell your secrets to the government

but the rest of us are here for you

guys i'm really fine

i just have a lot going on right now

is this about tom

no it's not about tom ian

would you stop bringing him up

what happened with tom?

i thought you guys were like best friends

we're taking a break

from what

speaking to each other

wait you guys broke up??

we were never dating you hardboiled egg

dating requires romance, potential longevity, and actual physical attraction

uh have you had an eye exam lately

my vision is 20/20

yeah and tom is 20/20 too

whatever

i'm perfectly fine without tom

are you sure

no offense but you've kind of been spiraling

you come to class in your bathrobe every day

well what's the point of putting on clothes if you're just going to take them off again

it's inefficient

also your most played playlist consists solely of sad songs from homeless puppy commercials and a 7 minute version of the wah wah trombone sound effect

plus all you eat is soup

like for every meal

which is a real cry for help

have you been watching me eat in the dining hall??

yeah kara and i have been filming you for our film project

kara told me you were supposed to do a tragedy

exactly

listen it's time to take your life in a new direction

preferably forward

i am moving forward

look this is all part of the plan

god not the plan again

what's the plan?

my ten year plan

and where exactly in your ten year plan does it say don't shower for a week?

i'm saving water

what are you doing for the environment ian

anyway none of that matters

i need to get good grades and if that means i have to turn into a robe wearing recluse who talks to herself then fine

no one said anything about talking to yourself but okay

yeah but you're not just trying to get good grades mel

you're trying to get perfect grades

and you're trying to get a perfect gpa and perfect extracurriculars and a perfect transcript

well what's wrong with wanting to succeed

you're putting yourself under a ridiculous amount of pressure

who cares

i said i'm fine

kara texted me

i know you cry after you think she's asleep

that's absurd

everyone knows i don't cry

i didn't even cry when i was born they thought i was dead

turns out they were right

it was just on the inside

shut up scott

crying is a waste of time and resources anyway literally all you're doing is dehydrating your body

okay you seem really sad and none of this is convincing me otherwise

oh sorry am i not bursting into song and clicking my heels together enough for you?

just saying you seem a little down

i am fucking joyous and full of life

you know what you're like a coral

they die of stress

compare me to sea life again sajan and you'll never see life again

mel this is what we mean

you're putting yourself under all this pressure and all you do is deflect when people try to help you

things would be so much easier for you if you stop being such a perfectionist

i'm not a perfectionist i just want everything to be right all the time

that's exactly what i'm talking about

well that was dangling preposition

you're impossible

i can't be impossible

i exist

i think what you meant to say is i'm improbable

i give up

good

we'll be meeting tomorrow at 5 pm

if anyone mentions my wellbeing, tom, or soup i will remove them from the team

haha okay

strike one

wait no

are you enjoying this light hearted nerd nation chapter? remember this. it will be the last happy memory you have for a long time