private messages

hey mel can we talk

i need to tell you something

i think i know what you're going to say

you do?

i've known for a while

god was i really that obvious

i mean you never told me but i figured it out

shit

don't worry it doesn't matter to me that you wear a wig

wait

true beauty comes from within

you should wear your wig with pride

mel i don't wear a wig

it's okay you don't have to lie to me anymore

this is a safe space

mel

okay sorry i couldn't resist

what did you want to talk about

nothing

forget it

are you sure?

you seemed so serious

i thought you were going to confess your undying love for me or something

hahaha what

why would i do that

i just think you should keep nic

that's all

okay sure

i am kind of attached to him

plus june knit us matching hats and i'd hate to break up the set

cool

glad to hear it

are you okay

you seem less sunshine-y than usual

you haven't even talked about who got a rose last night on the bachelor or what kind of pinterest craft you made today

i'm fine

is typing...

it was a hand painted mug for robert

and he's back

you seemed super serious for a second there i was almost worried

really?

yeah i kind of thought you were going to confess some huge secret

what kind of secret would i have to confess

i don't know

a third nipple or a secret love for nickelback or that you died and were replaced with a clone in 2006

just spitballing here

haha no

you know me i don't keep any secrets

you literally told me your nickname in school was the vault of secrets

yeah but that was just so you'd trust me enough to tell me about that time you fought a mall sanata

well maurice had it coming to him

he thought i was one of the elves

in his defense you are 5'1

i hope you swim into a boat motor

have you ever tried yoga

i hear it's very relaxing

yoga is expensive twister for white people

so more of a scented candle girl then

got it

nah we have a no candle policy in the dorm

with sajan around it's just tempting fate

speaking of i'll bet you're excited to see sajan and everyone else again

not really

they adopted a rat while i was gone

a friend for nic!

have you ever heard of the bubonic plague

is that a lush bath bomb

glad to see you haven't stopped being a disappointment

consistency is key

can't wait for you to go back to berkeley so i can feel safe again

it's going to be so weird to go back to school

yeah i've gotten used to having you here

i've kind of gotten used to being there with you

wow

that was kind of nice

i don't know what you're talking about

you're nice

how dare you call me that

i am not

i once bribed a health inspector to give my favorite restaurant a B rating so it would be less crowded

how mel of you

thank you

well i guess i should go to bed

i have to drive back early tomorrow morning

god i'm going to miss you

[deleted]

okay

have a good trip

i just want to stay here with you

[deleted]

i will

so mel is kind of oblivious and an asshole what's new. i actually wrote this chapter in 74 seconds so i apologize for the lack of quality. i would say i'll go back and edit it but we both know i won't