gnomecoming

the only picture i got yesterday but look how cute we are

aw i had such a great time guys!

wow i look like a deep fried toenail wrapped in denim

beep beep lie detected

u look great

but why do i look like i'm 2.63 feet tall

because you are

shut up you bowl of nine week old clam chowder

it's just because your jacket is the size of tom's ego

hey that's my jacket don't insult it

wait also hey that's me don't insult me

harrison i deem you adequate

holy shit was that a compliment

wait

wow mel practically just agreed to lay down her life for haz

you too seem to be of average standards

aww i'm blushing

cool your jets tom

yeah i'm just making a new pal

i don't want you two being friends the roasts will never end

that's like putting a wolverine and a honey badger together in a cage

i roast you out of love

i don't

hey leave tom alone he's very delicate

am not

i got a paper cut scrapbooking yesterday and i only cried for like twenty minutes

oh tom

don't worry bud i'll give you the eternal love and nurturing you deserve💞💖💘

eternal love doesn't exist but okay

oh hello bitter party of one

soon to be without functioning legs party of one

if you're going to keep spending time with tom i think i'm going to need to get insurance

and she will be because mom will last forever

the only thing that lasts forever is herpes

that's cute

makes me all weak in the knees

could be a symptom of of a metabolic disease

aw you care about my health

yeah if you die of natural causes i don't get the privilege of killing you

i'll put that in the wedding vows

what they really mean when they say mel is slaying

i live for this shit

can you two stop flirting and just ride the baloney pony already

if that's a euphemism i will never come within a twenty mild radius of you again

i want you out of the country by 5 pm haz

oh you're moving in on my man mel huh??

i'll fight you for him behind the walmart dumpster at 0700 hours

0700 hours doesn't exist

and neither does any sort of affection between me and tom

you know i'm allowed to bring a guest to the set of infinity war

i was going to see if mel wanted to go but since she's being an overcooked rice ball i guess i'll have to take some other girl

NOT ALLOWED

i don't even like marvel

SACRILEGE

what kind of person have you brought us tom

there's a snack bar on set

i love marvel so much omg thor rag and sock was so good

why don't you take tony he's been trying to convince you to take him for ages

where is tony

did we forget to put him in the chat

oh no this is bad tony didn't talk to me for 3 weeks after i stepped on his toe

toeny

daya removed from gnomecoming

daya addedto gnomecoming

oh hello FUCKERS

so good of you all to deign yourselves to add me to the chat

uh oh he's bitter

abort abort abort

nice to meet you mel

nice to meet you too i've heard great things

NOW THE REST OF YOU GET READY TO TASTE PAIN

a chapter without a single mention of sajan singh i am Shocked (why do i get so attached to my minor characters this is how theory happened) (spinoff of a spinoff anyone)