▷

it's zendaya and i'm here to beg you to take pity on tom

seriously girl if you told this boy to jump off a bridge he would

don't tempt me

😂😂

he deadass won't shut up tho

put him on maybe we can figure something out

YES OMG

IM GOING

HES GELLING HIS HAIR BUT ILL MAKE HIM STOP

it's tom what's up

not your testosterone levels apparently

is this about my hair

because i'm allowed to devote a few hours out of my day to making sure my locks stay beautiful

did you say a few hours

a few minutes

i meant a few minutes

you spend hours on your hair and yet it still looks like what kara pulled from the drain yesterday

status update: ego bruised beyond repair

i actually did need to talk to you about something though

status update: healing through the power of love

i'll leave right this instant you stale bread crumb

no i'm sorry

i take it all back

nah i'm gone

i have pudding

i'm back

you're shockingly easy to bribe

i could easily trick you into coming into the sewer if i was an evil clown

did you mean: my worst childhood fear

really?

my parents once took me to a circus when i was 9 and i stabbed a hole in the ball the clown was supposed to balance on during his act it deflated during the show and he fell and broke his tailbone

you as a child gives me fucking chills

i always though you aged into the sadism thing

no i was born with it

maybelline

oh wait i was supposed to talk to you about something important!

wait me too

what's yours about

return of the jebi

mine too

although i refuse to acknowledge that name's existence

ya girl scammed june into staying at seb's apartment

save your applause please

▷

we've successfully enacted stage 1: communication

i got seb to text june about work stuff but i know they're already sending nudes by now

uh gross

okay on to step 2: contact

i have a plan for that

when you're down in la you can go out to lunch with june and i'll go out with seb

and then wow we bump into each other at the same restaurant! crazy stuff!

and then you have an emergency and we have to leave and then boom they're on a date alone

speaking of which how well can you fake a heart attack

or maybe i should buy some fake blood

how much thought have you put into this

it consumes all my waking hours

i want to call you weird but same

jeb till death

jeb till death

and then maybe after we leave i was thinking we could go get pudding or something

you had me at pudding

i just trojan horsed a date into our jeb plan AHA

not sent!

get ready to fall the fuck in love with me

what

that wasn't supposed to send

i have to go

hitler is invading the rhineland

that happened 81 years ago

bye!!!

the parent trap but with love (not incest though) (that's fucked): a film by me, produced by my iOS app