trigger ⚠ ~ Self harm, depression, mention of suicide.

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After a long day at school, you throw your bag down and walk into the kitchen to see Steve standing and drinking some coffee.

Steve-"hey kid, how was school?" You walk to the cupboard and shrug.

"it was ok." You pour yourself a glass of water and sit down at the table. You can tell that Steve is tense and decide to ask him what's wrong as he seems stressed and uncomfortable.

"Steve what's wrong?" He about chokes on his coffee when you ask him.

Steve-"what? nothings wrong." You roll your eyes and decide not to go any further as you couldn't be bothered, you then left up to your room where you got changed, had a shower and put on some music whilst drawing. After about 2 hours you look at the time and see its 4 o'clock.

Then all of a sudden Jarvis announces that there is a meeting downstairs and that you need to go. You get up and walk to the meeting where you see everyone on edge and nervous making you worry.

"what's this meeting about? and why do you all look stressed?" They don't say a word.

Tony-"y/n, come and sit down we need to have a chat." You look around the room nervously as you can feel all the eyes on you, there are plenty of spare seats so you go and sit next to Clint and Bucky knowing that they will probably be the most fun to sit with.

Tony-"this isn't easy to say so I'm going to be blunt about it." Tony stands up and basically throws a package onto the table. Your curious so you decide to break the silence.

"what's in it?" All of the eyes turn to you, you can feel the pressure and judgement.

Tony-"this is what is in it." He grabs the box and tips it upside down, loads of razors, blades and knives poured out of the box making you freeze. Your mind starts to go wild with thoughts, shit! how did they find them? god I'm such a failure. You decide to play it cool and act like you don't know what or where they are.

"Tony, what are they?" He shrugs then He leans forward in his chair at the end of the table.

Tony-"why don't you tell us." You start to look around and see everyone very uncomfortable, the panic starts to rise in your throat so you cant properly speak.

"I-I don't know what they are." You look at everyone around to see them staring at you.

"G-Guys! I have no idea what they are ok? if this is it then I'm going." you get up but Clint stands in your way.

"Clint move please." He stays there and his voice is cracking at every word he says.

Clint-"I-I'm sorry y/n I cant do that." Barely a whisper from his lips but you heard him, he sounded hurt. You sigh and sit back down, as does Clint.

The tears start to form in your eyes as you know that they know.

"I'm sorry guys ok?! I'm a failure, I'm fat and ugly and a disappointment to the team you all are nice to me because your all pitying me I cut because it the only way I feel something, I've tried to kill myself for fuck sake and- and I hate myself so I barely eat the go and train making me even more exhausted I have nightmares every night because of what hydra did to me-" You take a breath and put your head in your hands realizing what you just said. "shit, shit shit!" You start hitting yourself and breaking down in which Clint gently grabs your hands and pulls you in for a hug, his warmth and tightness of the hug makes you feel secure.

Between sobs. "i-im so sorry guys, i-i should have told you but I was to scared that you would kick me out and baby I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, I-I just didn't want you to worry." You look at all the avengers who are either looking down or looking at you. Broken.

Clint-"hey, we love you ok? we aren't mad or disappointed we just want to help." You nod then Tony decides to speak up.

His voice is quiet and you can hear how broken he is with what you have just told them all "y/n, I'm sorry that we didn't realize sooner, It is ok to not be ok and we want to help you, we are like family here and you are apart of this family, we love you ok?" You mouth thank you to Tony and he nods then walks over and hugs you, following with all the rest of the avengers. Except Loki.

After the meeting you just sat in there after them all leaving one by one then you see Loki in the corner, you tell Clint to go and that you will follow in a min.

"loki? what are you doing here?" He doesnt say a word but rolls up his sleeve and shows you his scars. He then pulls you in for a hug and whispers in your ear.

Loki-"please, I know how you feel but it isn't the right way, if you feel like it again come to me and ill help ok?" You whisper thank you to Loki then lift up your sleeve to see new and old scars and cuts coving your arms. You hug him again then walk out and see Clint in the doorway.

Clint-"never knew Loki hugged people." You chuckle slightly then you all go and eat and have a movie night.