How the fuck are you so hot 🔥😏

God owed me a favour as I bailed him out so many times 😇

And I know. I mean, have you seen me?

Yes, I have, hence why I slid into your DMs

Slide the fuck back out before I burn you 🔥

Metaphorically? 😂

No. With actual flames🔥

I see what you're doing, trying to be all cool and tough but I am not going to be scared by somebody who I found on Snape's instagram

Believe me, that came at great personal cost. I pride myself on my image but the man takes good photos and a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do

Anyway, shouldn't you be fucking off or something?

No

Why? I'm being rude and I haven't even properly started yet

I dunno, like the attention?

Then why don't you visit a science lab, you'd get plenty of attention. I'm sure they'd love to meet the missing link 👍

Sirius, how are things going with Hattie?

Well, so far she's threatened me with fire, called me the missing link and been so vain it even surpasses me

I never thought it was possible but ... guys, I think I might be in love 😱

...

WHAT?! 🙄

•••

Hattie is fancasted as @airrozz who I've literally fallen in love with - E x