Oh my god, this was torture!

I sat on my knees and leaned forward, my tongue slipping out of my mouth as I strained my eyes.

Is that my name?!

Oh my god that's my name!

My hand slipped on the carpet and I fell forward – my head hitting the coffee table and banging off the hard surface.

"Mother fucker!" I screamed and clutched my head, curling in on myself as a sharp throbbing began in my temple.

"Wow, two dollars for the swear jar." Anthony's mocking voice floated through the hallway as he came into the lounge room.

I stared up at him from the fetal position on the floor, my hands still clutching my head. Anthony leaned against the door frame and stared at me rather unimpressed. "You hit your head on the coffee table?"

I nodded.

He glanced quickly around the room, his eyes lingering on the tree. "You were checking out the presents under the Christmas tree weren't you?"

I nodded my shame.

"You're such a child." He shook his head at me and turned back towards the kitchen. "Dinner's up by the way."

I groaned and pulled myself up onto my knees.

So what if I was worse than a child! Christmas was the best time of year and I'd be damned if I let Anthony ruin it. He was such a Grinch.

We had our first real fight barley two months after marriage when Christmas began to come around. I wanted to put a big Christmas tree and decorate the apartment with tinsel and little Santa's. Anthony did not.

A quick glance around the room showed our compromise.

We had a nice big Christmas tree – fake because Anthony wouldn't let me put a 'fire hazard' in the house – and two little statues that I placed on the coffee table. And, Hercules had a Christmas themed collar around her neck that made the little bells jingle every time she hopped – Anthony had on multiple occasions threatened to throw her out the window if she kept jingling.

I jumped up and wondered over to the table where dinner was waiting. A simple pasta. Nothing too much since tomorrow was going to be full of food and I needed to make room for it all.

Christmas carols played in the background.

"So Grinchy, am I going to wake up to no presents tomorrow? Or are you going to grow a heart and start singing?" I lifted a forkful of food up to my lips.

Anthony pouted.

My inner self began to play with the image in front of me, turning Anthony green and hairy like the Grinch in the Disney movie.

Oh dear god that is a creepy ass sight.

And to think you lie next to that man at night.

"Are you cold or you having a moment?" Anthony asked me, ignoring my Grinch comment.

"Having a moment." It's what we had started calling the times my inner self took over.

He nodded. "When you're done with your moment. Maybe you can explain the new clothes I found on the bed."

Oh you screwed.

"Whatever do you mean my love?"

You are the worst liar ever.

I know. I could barely even look at Anthony as I tried to play stupid.

Oh sky honey, you don't need to 'play' stupid. You are...

Anthony's voice silenced my inner self. "Don't you 'my love' me." He narrowed his eyes at me, still clearly displeased with me over my refusal to turn into Mrs Grinch. "The Christmas pajamas that are laid out of the bed. You seriously don't expect me to wear them do you?"

"Oh I most certainly do! Even if I have to strip you naked and dress you myself." I crossed my arms over my chest defensively.

Anthony smirked.

"You do know all you had to say was naked and I'd wear anything you want right?"

My inner self desperately tried pushed images into my mind but I quickly shut them all down.

"This is our first Christmas together and I need you to stop being such a grumpy Grinch and get excited." I all but begged him.

Anthony took a deep breath, his eye lids fluttering shut as he tried to settle the tension. "Okay, okay. I'll try."

I smiled brightly happy with his answer. "Great, grab your jacket we are going out!" I bounced out of my seat and collected the plates from the table.

Anthony groaned and slumped in his chair.

I could have sworn the man you married wasn't some whiny teenager? My inner self pondered the man in front of me.

Anthony had changed a lot since we got married. The man I had first met with for a prospective job interview was no longer the man I saw in front of me. We had spent months together now and none of them have been easy. Anthony has seen me at my worst, has been my rock and the only steady beat in my life when everything spirals. And I have watched him struggle under the pressure of his job, the number of times he has come home needing to punch something or so furious he broke the bedroom door. But still I never flinched, I stood by him and held his hand hoping to clam him. I was there the day last month when his mother told him she had breast cancer. It was first time I had seen him cry. It broke my heart to watch him, a man I knew was so strong, to break apart before me. I had held him that night, so tightly I though I had strangled him.

But the one thing that never seemed to change was the way he looked at me. With unconditional love, admiration and pure compassion. It warmed my heart even still. And as long as he still looked at me like that, I knew I could never let him go.

"Okay, okay." Anthony stood from his seat. "But can we not stay out long? It's Christmas eve and the roads will be busy."

"Don't worry, we'll be home by eight. Carols by Candlelight is on then!" I quickly put the dishes in the sink and grabbed my jacket and went to slip on my flats when I noticed Hercules was eating them. "Really?"

"Merry Christmas from the rodent." Anthony smiled, his hands in his pocket.

"Another pair of shoes?" I said to the rabbit and went to pull it out of her mouth. Hercules bit down harder.

"Or we could stay in tonight and have a tug of war with the rabbit." Anthony suggested from the door.

"Give it or I will start locking you outside." I threatened and the bunny let go of the shoe. She wrinkled her nose and hopped away - probably to start eating the remote. "Yeah that's what I thought."

I threw my shoes in the bin and pulled out another pair of ballet flats. Hercules was now fully grown and into chewing my shoes no matter how many toys I buy her. She never touches anything of Anthony's though which is surprising.

"Maybe that will teach you to put your shoes away for once Sky." Anthony commented from the door.

"Yeah yeah." I waved him off, knowing that I would still leave my shoes by the door for him to trip over every day - why break tradition?

After grabbing some ice cream and watching the sunset of the beach, Anthony and I headed back into the city for the Christmas lights event. Every building was lit up in Christmas colours. Lights flickered along in time to the carols playing on every street corner and the air had a chilly breeze to it that made me glad I had bought my jacket with me.

I held onto Anthony's hand as I pushed through the crowd. The large Christmas tree in the city square was gorgeous and I found myself wishing it would fit the hotel.

Anthony wrapped an arm around me - most likely to keep me from trying to get closer to the tree - and pulled me back against him.

"You know," He whispered as he rested his cheek against the side of my head. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile so much."

I leaned into his embrace. "I can think of a few times."

"Like when?"

"Well," I turned to face him. Looking up at him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, loving how his arms wrapped around me automatically. "There was the time you started singing on our pre-honeymoon."

I started smiling thinking of the time we danced under the stars and fairy lights of the gazebo while All of me played lightly in the background. The way he lead me in the dance, the way my heart had already began to skip a beat every time he looked at me. I wondered how I didn't realise how much I loved him even then.

"And then there was that time you told me the story about why you don't eat seafood." I tried my hardest not to laugh again at the memory, but a little giggle escaped me. Anthony narrowed his eyes slightly, but he to was amused.

"But, the time I remember smiling much my cheeks hurt, was our wedding day."

Anthony's eyes softened immediately.

"I don't think I will ever smile so much in one day again."

Anthony smiled, that wicked grin he sometimes did that still made my knees quake. "Not if I can help it." He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. His kiss was hard and urgent. An aggressive fierceness that had his arms locking my body to him.

A promise.

And one I returned.

We made it home just in time to watch the carols on tv. Curled up on the couch, both dressed in our Christmas pajamas, I cuddled into Anthony. Hercules chewed on the corner of the rug but I ignored her, making a quick mental note to google bunny training in the new year.

Everything was perfect.

"Okay I can't take this anymore." Were the only words I heard before my shoulder started shaking rapidly. "Babe wake up."

I hit Anthony's hand away and snuggled into my pillow. "I'm sleeping."

"It's Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, now let me sleep."

There was a moment of pause. "You are telling me, you spent the entirety of December getting so excited about this one day, to just sleep it away."

I groaned and opened my eyes. Anthony's outline was barely seen against the darkness in the room. Had the sun even begun to rise yet?

"What time is it?" I sat up a little, my left hand rubbing the sleep out of my eyes - it didn't help.

"Six-twenty in the morning." If I could see him, I bet he was smiling.

I stayed silent.

Who they hell wakes someone up before the sun has even risen?!

I told you, my inner self started, we should have killed him when we had the chance. We could have been a rich widow and still asleep! Win win situation here.

Perhaps some of your mental issues have rubbed off on him. Like a disease. Oh my god your like Herpes!

... that's an interesting thought. I'm just going to put that in the 'to never think about ever again' box with all of your other ideas.

"Sky, are you up or did you fall back asleep?"

"I'm going back to bed."

"But Santa came." Anthony taunted me.

Does that mean there's presents?!

My inner child it seemed had come out of the hole I had tried to burry her in.

"Fine." I rolled out of bed and held my hand out. Anthony was well accused to the 'morning hand' as he called it. It was basically that I was too tired to open my eyes and watch where I was going and I wanted him to do it for me. Anthony took advantage of it when he was mad at me, making me walk into the bed, wall and doors. But on days like today, he took my hand with a gentle easy and lead the way. He moved my hand up, over his should and curled it around his neck. I smiled as I gripped onto his body. He leaned into me and I let him move my body. His hands ran along my curves until his arm hit the back of my knees and he lifted me, cradling me in his arms as he picked me up.

As he walked us out of the bedroom, I opened my eyes to the still lit up Christmas tree in the lounge room and the sun rise pealing in through the opened curtains. It turned the room an array of res, pinks and purples.

I sat down on the couch a little transfixed. The man who had spent so damn long complaining about Christmas was now practically bouncing like a little kid.

Wait, am I being punked? I turned and looked around the room. Nope, no camera.

"Merry Christmas Babe." He kissed me and handed me one of two presents.

"Merry Christmas Anthony." I opened the first present to find a ring. It was a beautiful rose gold and silver ring - the same one I had been eyeing off for the last three months and hoped to buy with my birthday money. "Oh my god!" I all but screamed. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I chanted as I put the ring on and examined it. Perfect fit! "It looks so good!"

"I should hope so you tried it on that many times in the store. You know all I had to do was say my wife's been looking at this ring. They knew exactly who you were and remembered the size you tried on. Easy."

I laughed and shook my head at him. "Okay. Your turn." I got up from the couch and rummaged through the presents under the tree until I found the two boxes I had hidden at the back of the tree. I pulled out the first box and handed it to Anthony.

He stared at the box for a while. Then he shook it from side to side.

"Oh my god just open it already."

He chuckled and slowly, very slowly, untied the bow on top of the present, the he began to peal off every piece of sticky tap there was.

What is wrong with people these days? Just rip the damn thing!

"Calm down Babe." He waved me off as he opened the last bit of the paper and gently unfolded the present from the paper.

"Great, now we can recycle it next year." I rolled my eyes and scooted closer, peering over his shoulder to look at the present in his hands.

I tired to look at his face to gage his reaction. Anthony's face was frozen. His eyes were glazed over and burning as stared down at the watch in his hands.

"Anthony?" I asked as I ran my hand over his shoulder, feeling his tense body. "Do you like it?"

"Is this..." he trailed off.

I stared at him. "It's your Grandfather's watch. I got it fixed. Cost me a fortune and I had to hunt down someone who was willing to touch it because it is such an antique. But it came up good didn't it?" I was rambling now.

He turned his head to face me, setting the old watch back inside the box before he cupped my face between his hands. "Thank you." He kissed me deeply. "I love you."

I smiled against his lips. "I love you too." I kissed him. "Glad you like it, you had me worried there for a moment."

He chuckled a little and shook his head. "It's perfect."

I smiled brightly and passed him his other gift, a much larger box. Anthony slowly opened the present to reveal a toaster. "Is this the same toaster you broke?"

I smiled. Since moving in I have blown up three toasters and had to put up with Anthony's whining about how much he missed his original toaster. So I hunted high and low to find the same one.

"Not as good as the watch but still fantastic. Thanks babe." Anthony Kissed me again as he handed me another present. "Merry Christmas Skylar."

I ripped open my last present and found a collar.

"Um what is this?"

My inner self broke out laughing as she pushed thoughts of bondage and S&M into my mind.

Anthony chuckled. "It's not what you're thinking." He promised me. "Go open the study door."

I frowned a little confused, but I stood up and walked over to the small study behind the kitchen. Slowly I turned the door handle and peeked inside.

A puppy was ripping into Anthony's latest stack of papers. It's little black and white face peered up at me and turned slightly to the side.

"It's a puppy!" I leaned down and picked it up, cuddling it and scratching it behind it's ear.

I turned around and Anthony was leaning against the door frame, his hands in his pockets. He held out the collar I had unwrapped moments ago. "To our first Christmas together."

I smiled and walked towards him, letting Anthony tie the collar around the puppy's neck. "And to many more Christmas' together."