a/n: GUYS THIS STORY ALMOST HAS 100 READS IM SO HAPPY!! Anyways, I have terrible news..... I LOST MY NOTEBOOK!!! For those of you whom are like me, your writing and stuff is in your notebook and i didn't even bother to make a copy of the story or timeline on my computer so I have to improvise Dx but have you heard about Indiana ? Ugh, it disgusts me how they're treating the LGBT community. Anyways, please vote and comment and share if you're enjoying this story so far :) xx

—

I've just finished up my calculus homework when my phone rings. It's Charlotte calling me, at 8pm on a Wednesday. I've been going to my new school for a week now and Charlotte and I've become good friends. She hasn't met my parents though, and I haven't told them about her and her friends. I've also been noticing things about me, things that would consider me a disgrace to my family.

I walk to my phone and answer it. "Charlotte are you crazy? It's 8pm, I was about to go to bed."

I hear her giggling. She must be with Jace. "I wanted to ask you if you'd like to come to a club with us."

"No thanks, I don't want to see you and Jace eating each other's faces off." She laughs so hard she snorts at my comment.

"It won't be just me and Jace. It'll be Lilith, Liz and Jay, and Damon." when I hear Damon's name, my palms get sweaty and I feel some type of way. A way I shouldn't feel if I don't want to be banned from my house.

"Charlotte, I would love to, but my parents would not allow me out this late on a school night."

"If you don't come here, we're going over there." My eyes widen in fear.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me." I can hear the smirk in her voice. If I know anything about Charlotte it's that she always gets what she wants.

"Which club are you at?"

—

I pull up to the club and double check the directions Charlotte texted me. This is the right place. I park my car and search for Char and Jace. I hear Char call out my name and wave to me. She's at the front of the line beside the Bouncer. I jog up to them and smile at her and Jace.

"Thanks Ruben, I owe you one." she says to the bald, well-built Bouncer as he nods and lets us in.

"A friend of yours?" I ask her.

"My moms ex-boyfriend." she says nonchalantly. I nod, not sure what to say. We approach Lilith, Liz and Jay. Damon is nowhere to be seen. I try to be discreet when I ask about Damon. Liz smirks before pointing towards he and some random guy making out in the further part of the club. I feel many emotions. I try to deny these feelings, but I just grow more bitter.

"Hey, Tris!" I spin around to see Charlotte holding up two shots. I've never drank before, but I don't let that stop me from letting loose. I march towards her, snatch the tiny shot glass from her grip, and gulp it down. I cringe at the taste.

"This taste awful!" the group laughs at me.

"You've never drank before have you?" Jay asks me. I shake my head.

"Well, haven't you missed out on life." Charlotte asks rhetorically. she hands me another one. I almost refuse but Damon returns with a smirk and slams a fifty dollar bill on the counter asking for a drink. I glare at him before taking the other shot. He smirks at me.

"I see this is Lil' Tristan's first time drinking."

"Technically, his second." Lilith says.

"We're gonna have to cut him off soon. First time drinkers are usually light weights." Liz acknowledges.

Soon I'm full on drunk. I'm dancing and laughing out loud with my friends and having the time of my life. I take shot after shot, not even worrying about what would happen when I got home. A random guys comes up to me and dances with me. I don't think anything of it, but when I notice Damon's expression I take it a step further. I take the guys hand and drag him to the same corner Damon was moments before and push the guy against the wall. He's smirking at me as he grabs my collar and whispers sweet nothings into my ear. Before I can kiss him, Damon stops us.

"Okay, big guy. Get lose." he says to the stranger. He glares at Damon before Damon says something to him that makes him look at me in disgust and run away.

"What'd you tell him?" I ask angrily.

Damon laughs before answering. "I told him you have crabs." I gape at him.

"Can guys even get crabs?" I ask dumbly.

"Who cares, he bought it." he's laughing ecstatically now. I am so furious with him. I push at his chest knocking him into the wall.

"I can't believe you'd do that!"

"Hey, calm down twinkle-toes. You're not even sober and you're gonna kiss some random guy?"

"Why do you care what I do?" I ask about to walk away from him when he grabs my wrist.

"I care because believe it or not, you're not as big of a stick in the mud that I thought you were."

"That's not even a good reason to care." I say snatching my wrist from his grip.

"Well too bad because that's the only reason I'm giving."

"You're such a pain." I tell him.

"Says the one who doesn't even know that he's gay." all the blood rushes to my face at his words. I now realize what I was about to do. I realize why I was going to do it.

"You," i fight for the right words to say. Damon almost looks guilty. "you don't know what you're talking about." I walk away but he follows.

"Tristan, I'm sorry. We were supposed to let you find out on your own but—"

"What do you mean, 'we'?"

"We knew you were gay, but we wanted you to find out on your own." he says.

"You're insane." I tell him as I walk away once again. He grabs my arm and spins me around, trapping me against a wall and his body; his arms on either side of my head.

"You can't tell me that you're not attracted to me." he says dangerously close to my face. I'm breathing erratically. I'm trying to look anywhere but his eyes.

"If you can kiss me and tell me that you honestly don't feel anything, I'll take you home right now." he says dropping his arms to his sides.

I stare at him quizzically. "Really?" he nods. "So, all I have to do is kiss you and be totally disgusted and you'll take me home?' he chuckles a bit before nodding his head.

"More or less." he says. I take a deep breath. My palms are sweaty and I have butterflies dancing in my stomach.

"Fine, I'll kiss you, but don't say I didn't tell you so." I say trying to be chill and confident when on the inside I was about to shit myself because I already knew I was going to lose this one. He smirked before leaning towards me, his eyes barely shut. I shut my eyes and leaned towards him.

It felt like forever before our lips finally touched. His lips felt hot on mine and they were the perfect moisture. They moved in sync with mine and I found myself reaching for his hair. I gripped it and he smirked into the kiss. His hands were on my waist as we continued. Soon, I feel a bit... Crowded down below and pull away. My eyes are wide in shock and disbelief. Damon looks guilty, but not too guilty. I run passed him and exit the club. Riding with him would be too awkward, and I have my own car so I drive myself home.

While driving, I think about the kiss. I definitely felt something, but I don't want to admit it out loud because then there will be no denying it because it will be true. My phone hasn't stopped ringing and vibrating since I've left so I just turn it off. I'm gonna have to fake being sick tomorrow so I won't have to go to school tomorrow. I can't confront Damon or the others. They'll ask questions and I won't have any answers, because I have questions of my own.

Once I'm outside my house, I put my car in park, shut it off, and sit still a few seconds before I scream. Some stress is relieved from screaming but not all of it is gone and I feel like crying. How am I going to tell my parents? How am I going to confront Charlotte and the others?

How am I going to accept the fact that I'm gay?

—

a/n: another author's note, um I love you guys for reading and please if you're still in the closet, come out when you're ready not when you think you need to tell them. Tell them when you can handle all the different possibilities of their reactions. I'm here for you! xx