Alone. Clarke is completely alone.

Clarke can't believe she lost Madi. Madi was the only person left who provided her with a will to live. What does Clarke have to live for now? It sure seems like nothing.

And it's not just Madi. They're all gone. Every single person she has every loved has been ripped away from her.

She thinks about those who transcended:

Octavia- possibly the strongest person she has ever met, and someone she formed an unlikely friendship with.

Raven- the girl willing to make the tough calls just like her. Clarke cherishes their friendship more than she ever believed she would.

Gaia- the only person who loved Madi as much as she does.

Miller- a man who has endured the difficulties on earth for as long as she has.

Jackson- an incredible person who happens to be one of the last ties to Clarke's mother.

Echo- the spy with a tough exterior, but who also cares deeply for others.

Murphy- oh Murphy. Clarke never thought she could be friends with that selfish survivalist, but Emori really changed him for the better.

Emori- a determined woman who overcame numerous obstacles to become the amazing person she is now.

Indra- the best warrior there is. Clarke also knows she was always there for Octavia, even during her darkest times.

Niylah- the girl who reminded Clarke that someone as broken as her can still be loved.

Hope- Clarke barely knows Hope, but she does know she's just as fierce as her mother was.

Jordan- the son of two of the most incredible people Clarke has ever met. He truly did inherit all of the best traits from Harper and Monty.

And countless others.

Clarke can't even begin to think about all of the people she once loved dying, it hurts far too much. Just the thought of them dying feels like a knife stabbing into her already shattered heart.

But, that one death draws her attention like no other. She can't escape it now that she is alone with her thoughts.

She thought the worst of times had passed when she killed him, when she killed Bellamy Blake. Oh how wrong she was.

Now she has nothing, no one.

Clarke's inescapable thoughts begin to press in around her. She's drowning in emotion, in grief and guilt.

Clarke hasn't had any time to sit down and really think about what she did to Bellamy; she was busy worrying about Madi. She was busy delivering justice for the death of her daughter. She was busy trying to save the world. That attempt, of course, was unsuccessful.

Not only does she have to live alone, but she also has to live knowing she shot her best friend in the heart. Ironic, right? She was the head, and he was her heart. He kept her grounded. Bell was always there to pick her up when she fell down. When the tough calls had to be made, he made them with her. With Bellamy around, she was never alone.

The focus of Clarke's sadness constantly switches between Madi and Bellamy. Back and forth, back and forth. Back and forth, back and forth.

Clarke is heartbroken because she knows that she'll never see Madi again. She is grateful, though, that Madi transcended and can live again. She desperately wants to see her daughter, but she can live with the thought that Madi is alive and happy.

The thought of Bellamy creeps into Clarke's head once more. Did Bellamy transcend? No.... no he couldn't have. He was already dead before he would've been able to transcend. He was dead- and it was because of her.

Clarke really thought she made the right decision. She made the tough call, like always. She had to do everything in her power to protect Madi, even if that meant killing her best friend. He was already losing his love for her because of the Shepherd, right?

No, that wasn't right. Clarke knew Bellamy would always love her. She was the head, he was her heart. His heart would never allow him to push aside his emotions forever.

Bellamy's death may be the thing that causes her to end it all. Yes, Madi is probably separated from her forever, but at least she knows she's alive. Bellamy, on the other hand, may not be. Because of her, it's always because of her.

She killed her first love. She killed what was left of her mom. She even killed her best friend, her heart.

Clarke knows she won't be able to live on like this. The inescapable guilt filling her every thought is excruciatingly painful. She can't do it.

Unless... unless there is someone out there. Just one person. Once person could be all she needs.

Because she knows there is no one left on Bardo, Clarke uses the anomaly portal to leave. She assumes there probably isn't anyone left on Earth, so she makes a final attempt to find another human on the planet of Sanctum.

She desperately calls out to anyone who may hear her, but her attempts are unsuccessful because she is the only human there.

A discouraged Clarke looks out onto the horizon of Sanctum from the castle of the Primes. She then rushes out of the castle and down the front stairs.

She's astounded to find she is not the only being left on Sanctum. The one and only Picasso runs towards her and showers her with love.

Clarke is feeling a mixture of emotions. She's sad because Picasso reminds her of Madi, who she misses dearly. But, Clarke is also ecstatic to learn she is not completely by herself.

Clarke continues to call out to anyone who may hear her. When it is apparent there is no one left on Sanctum, Clarke decides to leave with Picasso. If she can't be surrounded by the familiarity of her loved ones, she might as well make an effort to be surrounded by a place she holds near and dear to her heart: Earth.

Picasso and Clarke emerge from the bunker where so many horrifying memories can hopefully be laid to rest.

The trees are just as tall and magnificent as she remembered. Despite the amount of warfare and hardships it has endured, the forest itself is peaceful.

Clarke begins to reminisce on what once took place in this very forest.

This is where her new life started. She was no longer the daughter of a criminal stuck in a prison cell. She could be whoever she wanted to be, and do whatever she wanted to do.

She smiles as she remembers seeing Finn for the first time. She really had no intention of falling for him, but she couldn't help it.

She imagines the fun times they had shared. She pictures his beautiful smile he revealed during their best moments together. But then she remembers. She remembers stabbing him, killing him. Her smile quickly fades and disappears with no trace, almost as if it was never there to begin with.

No. No no no. She killed Bellamy too. She murdered the man she loved most once again. How could she repeat such an irreversible mistake? Well, she did it for Madi of course. But was it worth it? Was it really worth it to kill her best friend?

Before Clarke's thoughts spiral completely out of control, she decides to keep moving through the forest with Picasso.

Clarke stands in awe of the massive trees for one more moment before continuing on her journey.

Picasso leads the way through the forest to the seashore. Clarke once again stands still, but this time to process what all of this may mean for her.

All of a sudden, Picasso sprints away from Clarke. She's far too tired to chase after him. Clarke is so overwhelmed by the devastating fact that she may be alone forever, she begins to cry. The sacrifices she continually made to save those she loved the most did not prevent her separation from them.

Clarke proclaims with what little energy she has left, "I don't want to be alone." She sits down with her head in her hands. She weeps for a moment and sighs with despair.

Out of nowhere, Picasso reappears in front of her. Clarke is filled with with relief, but she still feels empty and alone inside. She pets Picasso with what little love she has left to give.

As she pets Picasso, Clarke feels a hand on her back. She knows she should be paralyzed with fear, but she is too tired and disheartened to care. That's not the only reason she isn't fearful, though. The hand on her back feels... familiar. It almost feels like- no it couldn't be.

When she turns around she sees him. It's Bellamy Blake. She sees the man, her best friend, she shot in the heart. Her happiness quickly morphs into guilt as she remembers she killed him. She killed Bellamy.

Clarke begins to cry once more. She covers her face with her hands because of the shame and the guilt pressing down on her. She tries to spit out an apology, any apology, but her tears and emotion override her voice. Cries and gasps of sadness are the only noises she is successful in creating.

Bellamy gently takes Clarke's hands in his own. He looks deeply into her eyes and says four simple words, "You are not alone." Clarke cannot believe Bellamy is standing in front of her, telling her she isn't alone. This has to be some kind of punishment for her treacherous deeds, right?

But... but it feels so real. She needs this to be real. It may be the only thing that can save her from ending it all.

Clarke is in a state disbelief when Lexa appears beside her. Clarke knows this isn't really Lexa, not her Lexa. But, she is still filled with joy when she lays her eyes upon her.

Clarke cannot believe two of the people she loved the most, whose deaths filled her with an unbearable amount of grief, are standing before her. So, she asks the self-proclaimed "celestial judge" how it is possible for Bellamy to be with her on Earth.

The judge takes a moment to ponder what she wants to say before settling on, " You were willing to give up everything for your people, the people you love. So, we decided to reward you, Clarke. Your biggest regret at the time of the test was killing your best friend, Bellamy Blake. Because you have endured so much pain, I know this because I felt it when we touched, we wanted to alleviate some of it.

"Of course, you will never be allowed to transcend. You failed the test, so you must stay on Earth. But because of your courage and compassion, we allowed Bellamy to return to you."

Clarke blinks in disbelief as "Lexa" finishes talking. She is utterly speechless. Her best friend, the man she has loved for years, has returned to her.

Turning around to Bellamy, Clarke's smile does not reach her eyes. She wants to be happy, she really does. But she is unable to do so because she still feels the guilt of killing her best friend weighing down upon her.

She stares at Bellamy with tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She attempts to prevent the inevitable tear drops from falling, but Clarke is unsuccessful as a lone tear rips past her defenses, and slides down her cheek.

Bellamy knows what Clarke must be thinking.

Bellamy knows Clarke's thought process.

Bellamy knows how guilty Clarke must feel.

Bellamy knows Clarke.

♾

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