Lexie's POV

"Hey pepper, you hungry?" I ask, rubbing her fur as she wags her tail "I'll get you your dinner now baby"

Putting the food in front of her I look around the empty O'Connell house. Not a single person home. I'm here to look after the dogs, take them for walks and feed them

I sigh to myself, trudging upstairs and climbing into billies bed. It smells just like her

"This is so stupid" i mumble to absolutely no one but myself

I miss her so so much. My anxiety is through the fucking roof with the combination of school stressing me out and not having Billie here

I look around her room, taking in how cute all the details are. She's off living her dreams and I'm here crying in her bed. There's no way she'll love me forever, surely she'll get bored of me

My phone pings and I see it's bil

A tear rolls down my cheek, landing on her pillow. I miss you too Billie, more than you could ever ever know

I let an hour pass before I climb back through the window to my room, taking a shower before going downstairs for dinner

Moms out of course, at work like always. She's a surgeon. I get it's important and would take up a lot of time but surely I'm more important? It sure doesn't feel like I am

I stare at the food in the fridge feeling sick just at the sight of it. I cannot be bothered to cook that

Walking back out the kitchen I flop onto the sofa and switch on the tv, my chest feeling tight with anxiety

My phone pings again

Shit I forgot to reply to her

I press her name, waiting for the call to answer

"Hey Lex.. are you okay?" I hear her soft voice echo down the phone

Instantly I'm in a flood of tears. Someone asking you if your okay when your not okay equals instant tears. God I am so pathetic

"Lex.. what's wrong?" I can hear the wobble in her voice

"I really need you, I'm anxious billie and schools awful and I'm just here on my own " I cry, starting to get short of breath

"Lex, breathe with me"

"I wish you were here" I cry down the phone

"I wish I was too"

"I'm sorry.."

"Don't be sorry lex, it's okay to be sad... I hate that I'm not there for you right now" she says sadly

"I'm okay, I'm just overwhelmed, please don't worry about me" I rush out, not wanting to spoil her touring experience

"...Have you been sleeping okay?" She asks

"...yes" I lie

"What about eating? You been eating good?"

"...yes" I lie again

"Lex I can tell when you lie-"

"- I feel sick, that's all but I'm okay.. honest"

"I need you to eat, I can't have you wasting away on me"

"I will... I promise"

She hesitates before speaking again, her voice quiet "... you haven't cut again have you?"

"No"

"Okay, that's good. I'm proud of you" I hear her sniffle on the other end

"I really miss you" I say, my crying now having stopped but the sad feeling not going away for a single second

"I really miss you too, I'll be home soon"

"I'm not gunna leave you alone when you do" I chuckle

"Good coz I don't want you to leave me alone" she chuckles with me