《Best Friend | Billie Eilish》5 ~ Struggle
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Lexie's POV
"And I want all 10,000 words by the end of next week, no excuses"
Fuck this bitch
"Does everyone understand?"
A sea of 'yes' filling the room
"Very well, off your go" she says as the bell rings
I sigh, throwing my shit into my bag and walking out the classroom
My uniform is so itchy I hate it. I don't even get why this school has a uniform but my god do I wish it didn't
The level of itchiness is clouding my thoughts like a plague. I don't know what's gotten into me lately, everything I do I'm just on edge. Like I'm constantly on the verge of a serious breakdown of some sort
"Yo lex" Joe says, coming and walking next to me
Joes one of my friends who I've know forever. He's great, I love him
"Hey" I reply with a sigh, my brain still preoccupied by the itchiness of this uniform
"You seem distracted"
"It's this uniform I swear to God" I snap, trying to move it away from my skin best I can
He looks at me a little worried at my little outburst
"I'm stressed out, sorry" I say, looking down at the ground
"It's okay, what's stressing you?" He asks kindly
"This shit hole of a place"
"I get you.."
We reach the lunch que. I don't feel like eating to be honest. I'm so overwhelmed today that I can't even begin to think of keeping food down
"Imma go find a seat Joe I'm not hungry"
"You sure? Do you want me to get you anything"
"No thanks I don't feel good" I say before walking to find a seat
I plop down on a seat, leaning forward and resting my head on my arms that are on the table in front of me
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I try to just breath for a second. I hate feeling sick. It's literally the worst. But I know this time it's all in my head from the stress so it's unlikely I'll actually throw up
To top off how shitty I feel, I miss Billie like hell. It's only been a week so far. A. Week. Come on I need to get a grip
We speak every single day and there's not an hour that goes by where I don't think of her
My heart actually hurts when I think about how much I miss her. What is it with that? It's intense
I'm snapped out my anxious thoughts by Joe "here, I got you some water"
I give him a small smile and a "thank you" as he sits down opposite me
"Can I help in any way"
"No.. thank you, I need to just not sleep for like a week and catch the fuck up, I'm so behind and for what I've not missed a day"
He looks at me sympathetically "you've gotta sleep lex"
"Haven't got time for that right now.. and we have finals literally the week after next I'm so fucked it's not even funny bro"
I start to feel really really overwhelmed and anxious.. "I can't do this it's too much"
"Hey.. it's okay you can do it, I believe in you, let's just prioritise okay? Firstly sleep, you need it lex, no way around that one. Then just pick out which subjects are most important for you and make them top of your list"
I sigh sadly knowing he's right
"You can only do you best lex, whatever the outcome is, you'll have tried your best"
"Can I get a hug.. I haven't had one since Billie left"
"You don't gotta ask for a hug" he chuckles, walking round to my side of the table and engulfing me in a much needed hug
"This makes sense now"
"Huh?" I say confused by his revelation
"Billies on tour.. you always get really sad and anxious when she's not around" he says softly
I think for a second "well your not wrong.. I miss her too much"
"Call her, I think that could help"
"No she's probably busy, I don't want to get in the way with my sappy shit"
He just sends me a sad smile before getting up and walking round to his side of the table
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