Control was never something I was graced with in my life. It always seemed as if some invisible force was steering me, giving me the illusion of free will while keeping me on the same path. It was like I was a side character in my own life, everything happening to me being a result of others around me. Choices were never mine.

Until I came out, everything was planned for me by my mother. Then on that fateful day, I took charge and changed the path. That one act of defiance was the only control I had in my life up until that point. But as soon as I did that, the control was gone again.

Emptiness wasn't a new feeling to me, but it had been a while since I felt it.

My body was hollow as I laid on my side, staring at the wall from my bed that night. A warm tear swam down my face and dripped on my pillow as my insides shriveled up.

I was breaking down.

One thought consumed me to the point where I didn't want to move. The thought that everything bad that had happened to Fox after he came out was because of me was what haunted me. He had gotten accosted and abused when, before I had come into his life, he never had been treated that way.

When your mind chooses to focus on the one thing that could eat you alive, it made you feel helpless. No matter what I did, my mind wouldn't leave that thought. That was when I knew I still had no control in my life. I couldn't even control my own mind.

Fox's comforting words only helped as he was speaking them to me. Once we were apart, the words left me and I was back to drowning in my guilt.

He deserved better, a lot better than what he got for being with me.

The ride back from Fox's house was silent. Even if Josh had tried to talk to me, I didn't know it. I was too lost in my head to hear anything outside of it.

When my bedroom door opened, I didn't even turn to look and see who it was. They shut the door behind them, then walked around the bed and stood in front of me.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ian asked, his hands on his hips as he looked down at me with narrowed eyes.

I didn't answer, keeping my eyes glued to the wall. Ignoring Ian was working until he got down on a knee to put his face in front of mine.

"Should I get Josh?" he asked. Ian looked concerned, his mouth pulled down in a frown and his eyes softening.

"No," I drawled out in a low, raspy tone, my own voice sounding foreign to me.

"I feel like I need to do something but I don't know what," Ian admitted, continuing to stare at me with a wary expression. "I tried calling you to see if I could stay over, but you didn't answer."

"You don't have to ask," I told him, turning over to lie on my back.

Ian stood up, looking down at me with a hard expression, his eyes and mouth pinching on his face.

"What happened?" he asked. "Is it Fox?"

"Leave it alone, Ian," I muttered, staring straight up at the ceiling.

I wanted him to leave me alone, but I didn't voice that in fear of him leaving the house altogether and going back to his own.

"Well, are you just moping or are you actually going through something right now?" Ian questioned, sounding more irritated.

"I don't get into your business, you don't get into mine."

Ian scoffed, rolling his eyes at me and sitting down on the bed.

"You know my business," he started. "You know my mom hits me, and makes me pay for all of my own shit, and steals my money. That's my business and you already knew that."

I just ignored him, causing Ian to let out a heavy sigh at my lack of response.

"Your phone is going off," he said, picking it up off the nightstand.

"I don't care," I replied in a dull tone.

"It's Micah," he said, raising his eyebrows at me. "It looks like he's called you a couple times."

This caused me to sit up and take the phone out of Ian's hand. Micah would only call me with a real reason. It wouldn't just to be checking up on me or to talk about nothing. Him calling me meant something was going on.

"Hello?" I rushed to answer.

"Elijah, we have a bit of a situation," Micah told me, his voice sounding nervous.

"What's going on?"

I shared a look with Ian, who was staring at me in confusion.

"Landon just showed up at my house," he said. "Absolutely drunk."

I let out a long sigh, rubbing my temples with my thumb and forefinger.

"I don't know what to do with him," Micah continued. "He's just rambling and bumping into stuff."

"Are your parents home?"

"No," he said. "They went to his house tonight to talk with his parents. I don't want to call them in case his parents get angry that he came here."

I sighed again. "Can you get him to fall asleep somewhere?"

"I need you to help me," Micah pleaded. "Please, Elijah."

I leaned my head back on the wall and stared at the ceiling. I really couldn't just have tonight to wallow in self-pity. Something always had to happen.

"Fine," I said. "I'm on my way."

I hung up the phone as I got up from my bed, throwing a sweatshirt on over my shirt and sticking my phone in the pocket.

"What are you doing?" Ian asked, also getting up from the bed.

"I have to go," I said, grabbing my keys from my dresser. "You can stay here."

"Should you really be going anywhere right now?" he questioned, giving me a challenging stare. "You literally just looked like you were two seconds away from ending it all, and now you're rushing off somewhere?"

I walked out of my bedroom, Ian quickly following behind me.

"Would I be a good friend right now if I just let you walk off?" he asked, grabbing onto my arm to stop me.

We shared a look for a moment before I continued my way out to the car, Ian on my heels. He didn't even ask where we were headed when I started the car and began the journey to Micah's house. Ian sat stoic in the passenger's seat, resting his arm on the center console.

I pulled the car up to Micah's house, rolling the front tire over the curb before parking and rushing with Ian into the house. I didn't bother knocking before stepping inside and seeing Landon wandering around the living room in front of a bewildered Micah.

Micah's eyes found their way to me and Landon's quickly followed.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Landon asked, pointing toward me and taking a shaky step forward.

"Landon, come on," I said with a sigh, holding my arm out to him. "Let's get you upstairs so you can lie down."

"Don't touch me!" he screamed, stumbling backward and knocking into the mantle behind him.

"When did he get here?" I asked Micah, who still look stressed out beyond belief.

"About forty-five minutes ago?" Micah guessed, slightly lifting his shoulder.

Ian stood quietly behind me with his arms crossed over his chest, eyeing Landon as he glared at me.

"I'm sorry I called you—" Micah started.

"You called him?" Landon questioned loudly, shifting his glare to Micah.

"You were right here when I did," Micah reminded him.

I had seen Landon drunk many times, but never like this. He had always been a reckless drunk, but now he looked overly emotional and unhinged.

"He makes everything worse!" Landon exclaimed, gesturing toward me. "He's the reason I'm like this!"

"Landon just go to sleep," I pleaded, wanting nothing more than to be able to go back home.

"I can't sleep here! I leave tomorrow!"

His words caused the color to drain from my face and a sinking feeling in my stomach as dread consumed me. Dread that we had been too late to protect him.

"Stay here," I commanded in a low tone. "Don't go home tomorrow, just stay here."

Landon laughed, tears streaking down his face but not from the laughter. His tears were sad while he laughed like he was mocking me.

"They'll come get me," he said, a broken look in his eyes. "They won't even let me pack my things. My parents just want to mail them to me to get me out of here as soon as possible."

His words were slow and slurred together, sadness sneaking its way into his tone.

"Just stay with me, Landon," Micah cut in with a look of concern. "We won't let them take you."

Landon laughed again. "You guys are acting like it's just so easy. Not all of us have parents and a hot as fuck boyfriend keeping them here."

I would've smiled at his remark about Fox if he didn't look so broken.

"There is nothing keeping me here," Landon continued, his voice softer.

He looked as if he was contemplating for a moment, looking down at the floor before he brought his eyes back up.

"And who says I want to stay here?" Landon asked, looking around at us. "Maybe I want to go and do this program and get better."

By the way his face drooped, I could tell even he didn't believe his words. Landon may have had a lot of internalized homophobia to work through, but he still didn't truly believe the lies his parents had fed him about his sexuality.

"You don't mean that," I mumbled sadly.

Landon looked down at the floor, his eyes becoming heavy. The tiredness on his face wasn't just from his need for sleep, but from having to put up with what he was going through.

He didn't say anything as he sat down on the floor, putting his head in his hands. Micah and I shared looks of bewilderment. Landon had never been one to show any type of weakness, but he was unraveling in front of us.

Micah cleared his throat, going over to Landon and kneeling down beside him, placing a comforting hand on his back.

"Let me take you to the guest room," Micah said in a low voice.

Landon didn't move as Micah gestured for me to help him get him up. He allowed us to bring him to his feet and lead him into the guest room upstairs while Ian stayed at the foot of the stairs.

Once we got Landon onto the bed, he turned his back to us and brought his knees up to his chest. My gaze lingered on him for a moment before following Micah out of the room and back down the stairs.

"Make sure he stays here," I said once we were back in the living room. "Don't let him go with them tomorrow."

Micah nodded, a worried expression on his face. "I'll try. I don't know if I'll be able to stop him if he actually wants to go."

I didn't say anything because I knew he was right. If Landon truly didn't want our help, we couldn't stop him. The sad part was I knew Landon didn't actually want to go, but he had at least somewhat convinced himself that he should.

"That was intense," Ian said once we were back in the car on the way to my house.

"Yeah," I responded in a sigh, my mind clouded with mental exhaustion.

My head hurt as I thought of the events of tonight. The last two days were overwhelming and all I wanted was for nothing to be going on in my life.

"So I," Ian started, stuttering slightly, "I, uh, I applied for some scholarships. I have scouts coming to some practices and games once we can play."

It seemed out of the blue that he was bringing this up, but I knew why he did it. He was taking my mind off of everything that has happened. Ian wasn't an overly emotional person, but he could read the emotions of others well.

"That's great, Ian," I said, trying to sound as enthusiastic as I could at the moment. I was truly happy for him and wished for him to succeed.

"Fox has been bugging me to do it," he mumbled, leaning his head against the window. "I think he wants me out of my mom's house more than I do."

I couldn't help but smile at that.

"He loves you," I said, glancing at Ian briefly.

He gave me a look that I couldn't quite decipher and nodded his head before I took my eyes off him.

I felt a little lighter by the time we got back to the house. I was able to calm down on the short ride home and talking to Ian helped dissipate the heavy feeling in my head.

When we entered the house and went up to my room, I didn't expect to find Fox sitting on my bed. My eyes widened when they landed on him and I couldn't help but let them linger on his injuries.

"I thought I broke up with you," I said, causing Fox to stand from the bed and roll his eyes at me.

"Shut up," he replied before looking over to Ian. "Is everything okay?" he asked him.

"You guys broke up?" Ian asked, ignoring Fox's question.

"No," Fox said at the same time I said, "Yes."

Fox glared at me, shaking his head.

"See, this is why I came over here," he started with a stern tone. "You left my house all sad looking and I knew you'd go back to thinking like this if I let you leave."

Ian looked increasingly uncomfortable as Fox and I shared glares.

"I'm going to let you two fight this out on your own," Ian said, backing away toward the door. "I'll just go bother Josh."

Ian shut the door behind him, leaving Fox and I standing across from each other in my room. Fox's eyes narrowed at me as I sat down on the bed.

"How did you even get here?" I asked, briefly looking down at my hands in my lap and then back up at him.

"Wren dropped me off," he answered. "He said he had somewhere to go anyway."

"Okay, so why are you here?"

"I already told you why," he said, rolling his eyes again. "You tend to overthink."

I felt bad about being cold toward him, but now that I was looking at his injuries again, all the thoughts of why this happened came flooding back. I knew he deserved better than this, yet he still wanted to be with me. He was checking on me while he was the injured one, and that made me feel useless.

"Dad and Mindy want me to go file a restraining order on Dave tomorrow," I told him. "Maybe you should too. And on the guys who hurt you."

I had talked to Dad and Mindy briefly when I had gotten home from Fox's. They noticed something was wrong but didn't push me to talk about it. The three of us planned to go in the morning to take care of the restraining order.

Fox walked over to the bed, sitting down beside me and tossing his arm around my shoulder to pull me against him.

"I think that's a good idea," Fox mumbled against my skin as he placed a kiss on my cheek.

"Foxy..." I whined, resting my head on his shoulder as he held me tighter. "I'm so tired of this."

"I know," he agreed, wrapping his other arm around me so that he hugged me to his side, placing kisses on my forehead.

He winced as I made contact with his stomach, and that caused me to jump away from him. I looked at Fox with sad eyes, my mouth pulling into a frown.

"Don't even start," he warned, a stern expression taking over his face. "Yes, I'm in pain. No, it's not the end of the world."

It was progress that he was even admitting to being in pain.

"Can we just go to sleep? I'm tired," Fox said, taking his glasses off and rubbing his bruised eye.

It was then that I noticed how tired he actually looked. He acted like nothing took a toll on him, but it did. He was exhausted.

I leaned in and connected our lips briefly in a kiss before standing up from the bed and changing into more comfortable clothes, leaving my shirt off.

Fox followed my lead, pulling his shirt off over his head and placing it on the nightstand next to his glasses, after folding it. It took all my willpower to keep my eyes away from the bruises that littered his abdomen.

"Can I borrow some pants?" he asked, looking up at me with a grin.

A small smile sprouted on my face as I pulled a pair of pants out of my dresser and handed them to him. Fox pulled his jeans off and stood up to put on the pants I brought him.

"They're a little tight," he said as I laughed at the way the pants hugged his body.

"At least your ass looks good," I said with a chuckle, wrapping my arms around his torso and pulling him down on the bed and with me.

"Like always," he added, raising his eyebrows.

I hummed in agreement, pecking his lips.

Fox brought his hand to the back of my head and pulled me back to him to connect our lips again. He kissed me slowly and patiently, savoring the feeling. When we were like this, it was like there was nothing else around us.

We slowly pulled away, staring into each other's eyes and sharing a sort of unspoken dialogue. Just by the look he gave me, I could feel his love.

I hugged Fox closer to me, allowing him to lay his head on my chest as the two of us fell asleep.

***

I woke up to Fox detangling himself from my arms. I propped myself up on my elbow, watching him as he threw his shirt on and fixed his glasses on his face.

"You're leaving?" I asked with a yawn.

Fox turned, his eyes looking up and down my body, the comforter resting just below my hips.

"It makes it hard to when you're looking like that," he said, his lips quirking upward slightly.

"Then come back to bed."

"Can't, sweetheart, Wren's picking me up to go get the battery for my car," Fox replied, kneeling on the bed to give me a kiss.

I gave him a look of disgust at the nickname, but didn't comment on it.

As he tried to back away, I pulled him by the front of his shirt and planted my lips on his again. Fox's lips melted into mine as I kept my grip on his shirt, him cupping my face in his hand.

I started to deepen the kiss, biting down on his lip and letting my tongue enter his mouth. A surprised noise left his throat as he pulled away.

"You're trying to make it impossible for me to leave," he accused with raised eyebrows.

"Maybe," I said with a grin.

"Well we have to stop that before your dad comes up here and catches us. Again."

Just as he said the words, Dad called up the stairs to let me know that breakfast was ready. Fox gave me as if he was bragging that he had been right.

I rolled my eyes at him, getting out of bed and heading downstairs with Fox following behind me.

"Good mor—" Dad stopped short, choking slightly as his eyes focused on Fox and me. "Oh, hi Fox. Didn't know you stayed over."

"Dan," Mindy said in a warning tone, swatting Dad's shoulder.

Fox looked embarrassed, his cheeks reddening as Josh and Ian began laughing from where they sat at the kitchen table.

"You don't usually sleep without a shirt on Elijah," Dad added. "Why are you—"

"Dad!" I exclaimed, my voice going higher than I anticipated.

"On that note, my brother's here to pick me up," Fox said, awkwardly looking down at his phone.

"I'll walk you out," I muttered, turning and leading Fox out of the house.

The two of us scurried as quickly as we could out the front door and down the driveway to where Wren's car was parked in the street.

When we reached the car, Wren stuck his hand out the window to wave. Open skin on his knuckles caught my eye and I quickly looked to Fox to see his eyes fixed on them as well.

"Wren, what the fuck?" Fox asked, gesturing toward his brother's hand.

Wren rolled his eyes, resting his arm out the window.

"It's nothing, get in," he said in a bored tone.

Fox's eyes turned dark, narrowing at his brother as he tightly pressed his lips together in a thin line.

"What did you do?" Fox slowly asked, his tone low and matching his expression.

Wren gave him a blank stare, keeping his mouth closed as he raised his eyebrows.

"Come on, Fox," he said. "Get in the car. We have to go."