"I thought you were shaving today?" I ask as I walk into the empty house. The team left on Tuesday without Ryder, who still isn't cleared to go back to class, so he has been here alone the past two days doing nothing but watching crappy daytime television, waiting for me to get out of class, and moping.

"Wasn't in the mood," he shrugs. Ryder hasn't shaved since he got hurt and he has a light beard coming in. It is patchy but cute on him, even if I prefer his clean shaven baby face. I don't push further because I can tell he isn't in a mood. The Frozen Four semifinals start in an hour and I know not being there with his team is killing him. I push past his slight attitude knowing it isn't directed at me.

"You had your doctor's appointment today, how did that go?" I ask in an attempt to change the subject.

"I can return to class Monday but still no hockey for at least 8 weeks, shockingly my ribs aren't healing very quickly."

"Maybe if you actually rested," I scold as I push him gently onto the couch. "I love you but god damn, you're a pain in the ass."

"Say it again," he begs, pulling me down onto his lap, totally defeating the purpose of me making him sit.

"I love you," I whisper against his lips before kissing him gently. Except none of our kisses ever stay gentle and soon he is tugging my pony tail that is wrapped around his fist causing me to gasp.

"Oh, rub it in assholes," Parker bites as he walks into the living room. Him and Maya are about the only two people crankier than Ryder at the moment.

"Fuck off, Chen!" Ryder yells while flipping him off. Well tonight will be fun I see.

I climb off Ryder's lap and go upstairs to grab the ladies. I am not even halfway up the stairs when I hear the three of them arguing over what pizza to order as if it fucking matters. We could order 9 pizzas if we really wanted to. As I continue up the stairs I almost regret inviting Maya and Parker over to watch the game with us. I thought it would be nice but Ryder is in a bad mood since he isn't playing, Parker misses his boyfriend, and Maya misses her... well I am not sure what those two are but I support it nonetheless. Either way all of them together seems like it might do more harm than good.

"Why would we stream it Ryder, it is on ESPN," Parker huffs as I return back with the rats in their carrier. Me and Maya are going to make them an obstacle course to see which one is the smartest.

"Because the ESPN announces are fucking trash they talk out their god damn ass most of the time," he argues adjusting his hat aggressively on his head.

Not to side with my boyfriend and ditch my friend but I grab the computer plugged into the TV and put on the live stream like Ryder wants. I know Parker misses Bray and is anxious about the game but Ryder has to sit here and watch his team play without him. This is already hard enough for him and if I can ease that even a little I intend to. Parker wouldn't be at this game either way since we all had class today but if not for his injury Ry would be there with everyone else so today he takes priority. Besides, as long as Parker sees Bray he will be happy no matter how we watch the game.

I give Ryder Penelope and he settles down a little as he pets her. She is wearing her tiny Michigan Jersey the same as her sisters who are already crawling around the playpen Maya set up. "Hi P," Ryder smiles as she rubs against his cheek.

I sit next to him watching him being so soft with her. My heart flutters watching them together and I can't help but snap a video of them together. "Saw that," he mumbles as I slip my phone away again.

"Your lock screen is me with them sleeping," I point out.

Ryder gets a big smile on his face at the mention of his phone background. I don't know how long that picture has been his background, definitely since we started dating, but if I had to guess I would say he had it like that for awhile before we were dating. "It is my favorite picture of all my girls."

I can't resist kissing his cheek quickly before Parker and Maya freak out on us. "Pizza?" I ask as I pull out my phone to order. Everyone decides on what we are going to order but deciding who will pay is a whole new fight. I say we split it four ways but no one is on my side. I know why they are all doing this and I feel a little like a charity case.

I am the only one of the four of us who is tight on money but I have enough money to cover some pizza. I honestly hate feeling like this, like everyone is pitying me. I felt the same way after my date Monday. Ryder tried so hard to hide the bill from me but I caught a glimpse of the $200 check and nearly choked on my water. I decided then that I wasn't going to let us go on anymore expensive dates like that because I feel awkward not being able to do the same things for him in return.

Eventually I just order the pizza behind all their backs and put it on my credit card. None of them even notice what I have done until there is a knock on the door and I pop up to answer it. When I return with the pizza, everyone gets silent.

"Where did that come from?" Maya asks as I set the boxes down on the coffee table.

"The pizza place. By the way, I still think Michigan pizza is gross. New York pizza or bust."

All of them remain quiet as I open the box and take a slice. "Babe," Ryder hisses as the starting line up begins to be announced for the game. It is Michigan versus UMass and I ignore Ryder pretending to be really interested in Umass's team.

"Francesca," he tries again but again I stare straight ahead.

The game begins as there is an obvious hole in our team's playing, Ryder's absence clearly noticeable. "Come on guys!" he yells when they accidentally pass the puck off to the opposing team. Bray is fighting for his life trying to block every shot and if it wasn't for him being so good we'd already be down by at least 3.

When the first period ends, Ryder is texting quickly, likely blowing up his teammate's phones. Even from 5 hours away they can't escape their captain and his lectures. The anger is rolling off of him in waves so noticeably that Maya and Parker texted me asking if he is ok.

Maya: He seems upset, is he ok?

Parker: Good thing my boyfriend is playing well so Ryder doesn't rip him a new asshole with everyone else.

Me: He wishes he was there, he hates watching from the sidelines not able to help. Also I think he is mad at me for paying.

Parker: SAME

Maya: Mood, I feel him there

I roll my eyes but ignore them. Ryder is still frantically texting away so I use this as my opportunity to slip away to the bathroom quickly. I try to be fast so I can get back to comforting Ryder but as I begin to wash my hands the door swings open. "Fuck Ry," I curse splashing some water as I jump in surprise.

Ryder doesn't say a word as he locks the bathroom door and then traps me against the counter, his front pressed to my back. "Ry," I squeak as the air in the bathroom becomes thick.

"How much was it Francesca?" he asks, his voice wavering slightly. He barely has control and is teetering on the edge of completely losing it.

"Ryder it was just some pizza, I can pay for it," I rush, as our gazes lock in the mirror.

"Great, did I ask if you could? I asked for the price, nothing else."

I attempt to step to the side and get away from him but he has my hips pushed against the sink and his arms on either side of me. "I don't want you always paying for stuff for me. That isn't fair," I whine, averting my gaze from his harsh one.

"I am your boyfriend," he grits out his patience running dangerously low.

"You are," I agree, hoping to reel him back in a little. "But this is a two way thing, we are equals here, and I don't want you always spending money on me when I can't do the same in return. Eventually you will grow resentful."

A few stray tears stream down my face. I hate money, it ruins everything but I won't let it ruin us. I know when Ryder is in the NHL the gap will become even worse with him making millions and me struggling to get by for awhile. Eventually if I am good enough brand endorsements and competition winnings will help but the beginning years, they will likely be rough ones.

"Francesca, look at me," he orders but his voice is gentler than before. I look up at him in the mirror but he shakes his head and turns me around so we are face to face. "I will never ever resent you over money. I grew up with people throwing money at me in place of actually loving me. I could give a shit about the money I spend on you, I don't do it expecting anything in return and I sure as fuck will never hold it over your head. I could buy you a small country and that still wouldn't compare to what you have given me. I am the happiest I have ever been because of you."

"You say that now," I sniffle as Ryder wipes his thumb over my cheek.

"And I mean it always. Babe, you always say you want to give me everything I didn't have growing up, well I want to do the same. I never want you to worry about money, fuck who else am I going to blow me money on if not on you? I would spend my last dime to give you everything you need in life. Besides, don't think of it as my money, it is my dad's card and well he owes me for all those years of his abuse."

"No money in the world can make up for what he's done," I sneer. The mere mention of Ryder's parents has my blood boiling.

"You are right but it is something. Money is all he cares about so we are hitting him where it hurts."

I nod as Ryder kisses the tears wetting my cheeks. I let Ryder's words sink in. In my mind loving him is so easy I don't find it comparable to him spending money on me, but that isn't how he sees it. Both of us are desperately trying to fill the void the other had over the years, my void just happens to be a little more tangible. I know now that Ryder will never stop spending money on me, not if he has it. I don't want to micromanage and tell him how to spend his money and if he wants to spend it on me then ultimately I can't stop him. I have a feeling trying to stop him will cause more resentment then I thought would come from him spending the money on me.

"It was $40," I mumble giving in.

"The tip?" he questions.

"Oh I would prefer the whole thing," I tease, brushing my fingertips over the crotch of his sweatpants in an attempt to distract him.

He inhales a sharp breath but then shakes his head. "You can't seduce me to get out of this. If you want to touch my dick trust me I will not be stopping you but that will not make me forget."

"Fuck you," I grit out in annoyance, "it was $56 with tip." I push him off of me and dry my hands on the towel. "None of that, until you are cleared."

"I still don't get that rule," he huffs as we both leave the bathroom finally.

"Are you telling me if we went upstairs and took our clothes off you'd be able to stop yourself? You aren't supposed to be moving. Besides how enjoyable will it really be if every time you take a deep breath you flinch in pain."

"You are no fun with your logical bullshit," he sulks as we rejoin everyone just as the puck drops for the second period. I move to the floor where Maya and I start playing with the rats. Maya is just learning hockey so Ryder spends a lot of the game trying to teach her stuff. I think it is a pretty good distraction and though the sadness is still evident in his eyes when the team wins, he definitely looks more proud than sad.

Ryder looks at me then Parker then me again. "What?" I question looking between the two of them. The guilt is painfully evident on their faces. "What did you do?"

"He did it," Parker snitches, jumping behind Maya for protection as he points at Ryder.

"Chen!" he yells in dismay. "Listen I can't do this Beck, please I can't."

"Someone speak before I get pissed off," I warn.

"I want to see my boyfriend and he has a car and he wants to see his team and I mean it is only 5 hours and he is cleared so I mean, I think it would be cruel to deny us Fran," Parker rushes in one long sentence.

"Oh wait I want to come," Maya interjects before cowering as I shoot her a dirty look. "Sorry Franny."

"We bought you one," Ryder assures not backing down from my murderous look like she did.

"They can go," I point to my roommates, "you can't."

Maya and Parker take the cue that things are about to get ugly and quickly bid their farewells. "Absolutely not," I tell him again.

"Frankly you can't stop me," he challenges. "I am an adult, making decisions for myself."

"You are going to ruin your career if you don't take this injury more seriously."

"I won't and we both know it. Now you're being ridiculous."

"Am not," I argue.

"Are to," he replies childishly.

"If you go I am not going with you. If you want to hurt yourself more I am not sitting there and watching."

"Whatever, I am going to bed. Goodnight." Ryder dismisses me, scooping up the rats and heading upstairs without even a kiss goodnight. I think this is our first fight as a couple and it makes my chest hurt.

I stand in the living room for awhile trying to figure out what just happened. I don't want to leave like this so I start making my way to Ryder's room to talk. I make it to the second flood the same time he does.

"I worry about you," I confess.

"I can't not be there. It is probably my last game on the team," he says at the same time.

"I will drive," I say softly knowing that is the best possible compromise we can come up with. We are good with compromises; our entire friendship was built off of a compromise.

"Come to bed with me," he begs, reaching for my hand.

I nod and we both climb into bed snuggled close together. Ryder's fingers trail softly up and down my arm in a comforting motion as he kisses me in the dark. We survived our first fight and while it was definitely a dumb one I am glad we made it unscathed. Given everything I know about his parents, this feels more significant than it would for most couples.