I can't remember the last time I was alone in my apartment but it is actually kind of nice to have some time just for myself. Ever since becoming friends with the hockey guys, besides Luna, the rest of us usually spend our time at their house or with them or at their games. The few away games they have had we all watched together. But tonight, Maya is going to a frat party, Parker has a tinder date, and Luna is with Tristian so I had 3 hours to myself before Ryder arrived.

I used my time to grade all the quizzes, study for my exam next week, and even do a little baking. I have never been a baker, that is usually Maya's thing in our house but I wanted to surprise Ry with something after the shitty week he has had. Coach, from what I have heard from him and the others, has been especially brutal and as the week progressed our once clean and polished hockey team has started to look like a bunch of kids playing for the first time. The pressure of tomorrow's game is on everyone but especially Ryder, who as captain is expected to hold the team together in times like this. But who is holding Ryder together while he tries to do it all?

I am just finishing up my decorating when the doorknob on the front door twists, followed by a string of curse words when the person on the other side realizes it's locked. "Sorry," I yell out as I shove the food in the fridge and run to the door to unlock it.

"Sorry sorry," I rush as soon as I pull it open to reveal a frustrated and tired Ryder. He has visible bags under his eyes and looks like he can barely hold himself upright.

"Beck you knew I was coming over," he bites but I know his frustration isn't truly pointed at me. He pushes past me into the apartment and I prepare to be the punching bag for the night for all Ryders built up frustrations. I don't mind really, we all do it sometimes, point our anger at others because they're there. Shit when I did bad at my competition I did it to Ryder, purposely making fun of the team's loss because I was hurt, so now it is time for the roles to be reversed.

"I know but what if I got kidnapped between when you texted me you were on your way and when you got here?"

"They'd return you so I wouldn't be too worried."

I gasp and cover my heart pretending to be offended. "My dad used to say the same thing when I was a kid."

"Smart man," Ryder smiles a little.

"If you want to get settled I just need to clean the kitchen quickly." I point Ryder toward the couch like he doesn't already know where it is before walking off toward the kitchen. I didn't realize until now what a disaster I made. I swear Maya makes it look so easy with zero mess.

"Did a bomb go off in here?" Ryder is also surveying the mess as I try to push all the dirty stuff into the sink.

"I was trying to bake," I say softly. If nonna saw this she'd roll her eyes and say this is not a wife level kitchen and that with cooking skills as sad as mine I am not going to end up with a good husband, just like my whore of a cousin. Not that I think my cousin is actually a whore, getting pregnant accidentally could happen to anyone, and I am sure that has nothing to do with her cooking skill, at least I hope.

"Is that what is on your chin?" he teases while reaching out and grabbing my face to inspect whatever is on my chin. "Is that icing butt?"

"I was trying to frost them. It was difficult, they did not want to cooperate. It was a conspiracy against me, I swear."

Ryder lets out a genuine laugh as he uses his thumb to wipe the frosting off my chin before sticking his thumb in his mouth and licking it off. "Well at least it tastes good, and I am sure it looks just fine."

"Don't be so sure about that. Half of them look like they barely survived a horror movie."

"Oh horror movie, that is a good idea. I am going to go pick one while you attempt to find the bottom of your sink." Ryder has perked up significantly since he arrived and rushes off to the living room to pick a movie.

"A horror movie," I squeak, watching the spot where he just was. Maybe now is a good time to mention to him I am a really big chicken and very scared of scary movies? But I don't because Ryder is the happiest he's been in days and I don't have the heart to ruin that.

I try not to dwell on the possibilities of what movie he will pick and instead focus on the dishes. I make good progress with only a few left to clean when Ryder returns. He hops up onto the counter behind me as I finish up. "So when do I get to see your terrible baking even though I am sure it is great."

I set down the last dish on the dish towel and walk over to the fridge. "You can't laugh," I warn.

"I won't laugh."

"Promise," I urge.

"I swear on hockey I won't laugh."

I open the fridge and pull out the 12 mangled cupcakes. I tried to ice them while they were still hot so the white icing on top has melted off a bit and there are crumbs of cupcake mixed in. Ryder takes the plate and inspects them. "Are they blue?"

"And yellow."

"Michigan colors," he notes as a huge smile spreads across his face. "For the team?"

"Just you," I tell him, suddenly getting shy. Is baking for a guy too forward? I mean I know he doesn't like Maya but that doesn't mean he likes me. Of course Maddies words from Sunday plus Ryder finally dancing with me didn't disprove the possibility that Ryder could like me, but it doesn't prove it either.

Ryder unwraps the ugliest cupcake of them all. Almost all the icing is melted off and the top is completely mangled, there is also a large possibility that all the cupcakes are burnt. Yet despite all that he still shoves the entire thing into his mouth and lets out a satisfied groan as he chews. Thankfully his eyes are closed so he doesn't notice the heat rushing to my cheeks.

"Maya's brownies are out, Becks cupcakes are in. You heard it here first, people," Ryder announces while plopping another cupcake into his mouth.

"Pig," I tease as crumbs fall from the corners of his mouth onto his lap. I reach out to wipe them off but quickly pull back when I realize that would require touching his crotch, which I don't think is appropriate.

"You've called me worse," he mumbles with his mouth still full. Ryder hands me the plate and I take it, confused as to why he is handing it back. I am about to ask when he jumps off the counter and picks me up bridal style as I clutch the plate. "Hereditary, time."

"Hereditary?" I question, looking up as he carries me to the living room.

"Yeah it is like one of the scariest movies to come out in the last couple years, the first time I watched it I slept with all the lights on for a week."

"A week?" I gulp as Ryder throws me to the couch, sending a few of the cupcakes flying. He is so focused on picking them up he doesn't notice the fact I have basically turned into a statue.

"This is going to be great."

"Yup, great," I echo, my voice already shaking.

Ryder starts the movie and I start out a respectable distance from him. The normal distance two friends would sit from each other while watching a movie together. As the opening scene commences I begin to scoot closer, already tucking my head mostly into the oversized Hockey shirt I am wearing. I peak to Ryder but he seems too wrapped up in the movie and cupcakes to notice me basically shitting myself next to him.

I try to just close my eyes and remain calm but soon I am buried into Ryders side with a pillow in front of me. "Beck," he laughs, "first time seeing it I guess."

"You guess right."

"It's ok, I got you." Trying to be comforting Ryder wraps an arm around me and lets me basically sit on his lap with my head buried in his armpit and a pillow in front of me with my hands over my ears.

I am barely watching and yet still I am shaking like a leaf as the movie progresses. My hands over my ears aren't enough to block out the sounds and during one partially scary scene that even had Ryder jumping I end up crawling completely behind his back with my arms and legs tightly wrapped around his torso.

I am basically crying when Ryder gets the idea that maybe this movie is a bit too much for me to handle. "Beck, do you want me to turn it off, we don't have to watch this if it is too scary for you."

"I don't like scary movies," I whimper as a loud noise has me gripping Ryder ever tighter.

"Shit, Beck." I feel Ryder fumbling for the remote which is hard considering I have basically fused myself to his back. I hear the tv shut off but we are sitting in the dark now which does nothing to calm me down. Somehow Ryder manages to untangle himself from me to flick the lights on.

I grab the couch cushions and pile them in front of me before pulling my entire body into Ryder's old oversized shirt. Thankfully, given how giant he is compared to me, I can get all of my self protected inside pretty easily.

Ryder returns to the couch and climbs into my little fort pulling the human ball I have turned myself into safely into his arms. "You're ok," he whispers gently, holding me as tightly as he possibly can.

I slowly peak my head out and rub my hand across my face to wipe away the tears. I didn't mean to cry, I just never have been good with scary movies. "Sh, hey you're ok, I promise I will keep you safe babe."

I freeze in the middle of wiping my cheek and Ryder goes completely still. "Beck. I will keep you safe Beck," he corrects, making sure to emphasize my name. But he didn't say my name the first time, he said babe and while I get mistakes happen I have never accidentally called anyone babe before. I let the small tiny stupid bit of me hold on to the hope and focus on that instead of the movie that was just on.

Ryder after a few minutes of trying to sooth me and coaxing me out of my cocoon puts on the Lizzie McGuire movie per my request. I am aware I am taking advantage, knowing he won't say no after traumatizing me, so I picked a movie I know I will never be able to get him to watch any other time.

In his apologetic state I manage to get Ryder to watch Lizzie McGuire and Starstruck with zero complaints and order Cold Stone creamery. I am just about to start our third original Disney Channel movie when he rests his head in my lap. I had just scooted back to my original spot a few minutes ago but it seems Ryder didn't want the space.

"Sleepy?" I ask as I move his hat and play with the front strands of his hair. It is really soft and I wonder if he uses something special to make it this way.

"A little," he yawns, wrapping his one arm around my waist, his thumb gently rubbing the exposed skin on my side.

"You should head home then, get a good night's sleep."

Ryder hits play completely ignoring me before flipping on his side and nuzzling his head into my stomach. "Wake me when one of your roommates is home, I don't want to leave you alone."

Almost instantly he is asleep and I watch the movie as my heart races. Ryder knows the movie scared me so instead of leaving to sleep before his huge game tomorrow he is staying here with me. I have been in plenty of relationships before, good healthy relationships, but this is something so small but meaningful I can barely process it.

Midway through High School Musical a very drunk Parker throws the door open which sends traumatized me flying across the room and under the coffee table. Ryder, who was still asleep, pops up from the couch looking around trying to figure out why I screamed like I was being killed. "Fuck Parker, you had to do that tonight."

Parker trips into the living room slurring his words incoherently. "Least I can out run him if the demons come," I tell Ryder as he picks me up off the floor.

"No demons are coming Beck."

"What if they are, what if my goldfish I forgot to feed as a kid comes back with vengeance."

Ryder's eyes sparkle with amusement like I am both the weirdest and craziest person he's ever had to deal with, which isn't true though because I heard that Bray sleep walks and that is way weirder. "Do you want me to stay over? I am sure if Luna finds out I slept in her bed the worse she will do is set my car on fire."

"She might also burn all your hats, she likes that threat a lot. It appeals to her."

"That is terrifying. Do you want me to stay butt?"

I do want him to stay but I can't say that. Ryder has a huge game tomorrow and as sweet as his offer is, hockey will always be more important than me. If he doesn't play well tomorrow I don't want to have guilt wondering if I am the reason. I want him to play his best even if that means I get no sleep tonight. "No it is ok, I will be ok. Like I said I can outrun Parker."

"Are you going to barricade yourself in your room the second I leave?" I nod hesitantly. "Well then let me help you before I go."

Ryder brings me to my room and helps me make it 'demon proof'. He completely tucks me in then removes his hat from his head. I watch as he grabs a pillow and blanket and sets up Lunas bed to make it look like someone is in it. "A decoy for the demons."

"You think it will work?" I ask. My anxiety begins to kick in as I realize Ryder is about to leave.

"Absolutely. Francesca I would not leave your side if for a second I thought you weren't safe." Chills spread across my body as he looks at me with the confidence only someone like Ryder could possibly have. The confidence a good captain gives to all his players before a big game.

"I trust you," I tell him sincerely.

Ryder tucks me in one more time and makes sure I am ok before walking out, making sure to leave the lights on and lock my bedroom door. I hear him talking to Parker briefly before I hear the front door shut. I assumed when he left I would be an anxious mess but I meant what I said, I trust Ryder and if he says I am safe then I know I am.