"Luna, I will meet you at the rink. I have something to take care of first."

"Ok! See you later Fran!"

"Bye," Tristian yells from his spot cuddled with Luna on our couch. Tristian got killed this morning so he has been pouting while Luna has been trying to cheer him up.

Yesterday after our meeting at Pickles my team wanted to have a team bonding night without the hockey boys. Ryder seemed a little bummed but I went and it paid off. I ended up killing Paulie who had been doing a good job of staying alive . Now I am on my way to get my next kill and this may be the hardest one yet.

I walk into hockey house and make a dash straight for the room I am looking for. I still don't know who has me but I am pretty sure it is one of the hockey players. Most of my team besides me, Luna, and three others are dead. We are now down to under 25 people still alive which means half of the original people playing are dead. The dead have reignited prank wars since they're no longer preoccupied with assassins so this morning the hockey team got to practice and their locker room was covered in chicken feathers, karma is a bitch boys.

"Hey Beck? Looking for Ryder?"

I look at Bray who is sitting at his desk playing some video game. I feel bad killing him but it must be done. "I'm sorry Bray," I tell him before taking the small can from my pocket and spraying him.

"Thank god," he exhales before pausing his game and hugging me. I remain stiff in his arms because I am confused. I just killed him. Why is he thanking me? "I have been waiting to be killed for so long."

"Why?"

"I couldn't kill the person I had, I just couldn't do it."

"Who do you have," I ask and instead of telling me he hands me the stick. In my neat handwriting, in bubble letters is the name I wanted least. Carson Ryder. My heart drops and I realize I no longer want to win. Not if winning means killing Ryder. "Fuck," I curse.

"Sorry Beck." Bray pats my head and I shoot daggers at him.

"I don't like you right now."

"Fair enough," he laughs as I turn around and march up to Ryder's room.

"Life sucks then you die," I announce as I flop face first into Ryder's bed.

"Good afternoon to you too, Beck." Ryder is leaning against the doorway from his bathroom in nothing but a towel. His hair is laying in his face and little drops of water roll from the strands and down his impeccable abs. Maybe life doesn't suck but if I died right now, I would die a very happy girl.

I can't even form a sentence as my heartbeat hammers in my ears. Ryder is 6 feet 4 inches of pure muscle and lord does it do some wild things to my body. A small part of me wonders what lies under his towel, if his muscular legs and arms aren't the only thing big about him. I shake the thought away and focus on the wall next to him. "I killed Bray."

"You're a regular murderer now Beck, I am so proud of you." Ryder's praise sends my heart racing in a whole different way. How someone can take me from horny to a soft pile of mush in 10 seconds flat is a talent only Ryder possesses.

Ryder shuts his bathroom door a crack and then opens it again a moment later in just a pair of boxers. To answer my own question from earlier, all of him is big... like, all of him. I look past the um outline which is very obvious and trail my eyes over his legs. I have only ever seen Ryder in pants or hockey gear but his legs are insanely muscular. I mean I am not surprised given the way he skates, I knew he had strong legs but every time he even shifts slightly his muscles are so defined I am jealous.

"Beck? Did you hear me?"

"Hmm," I hum looking up his body to his face. He is wearing that cocky smirk, totally aware I was checking him out. Whatever, even if I didn't have a small little bitty crush on Ryder I still have eyes and can admit he is attractive.

"I said, 'did you try on your costume for Saturday?' You said after our ice time today you were going to."

"Oh yeah I tried it on after I showered. It looks good and I am happy with it. It is a little plain but I don't care too much, I think it fits the song."

"I am sure you will be the best looking one. You usually are." Ryder goes rigid as the words leave his mouth. "You know at the competition because you're good at skating and no one cares about costumes because the skating is what matters because it's a skating competition and you're really good."

"Makes sense," I say as I roll over and look out the window over Ryder's desk instead of at him getting dressed. I feel a little deflated as he walks back his compliment. Some moments I feel like this crush is so one sided and then other times I feel like maybe we both feel the same thing and my brain can't figure out which one is right. I wish I could just ask him but our friendship is something I enjoy and I don't want things to be awkward.

"Ready to go to the rink?" Ryder reaches for my hand and I take it letting him pull me up.

"Let's make some money."

Ryder pulls his jacket on and then tucks me under his arm. He is still being protective so I don't lose in assassins but I want to lose. I don't want to have to kill Ryder, he's one of my best friends and he has been so sweet to me all week.

"What time do you leave tomorrow?"

"Not until later, around 2 or 3, why?"

"We wanted to invite you all to breakfast tomorrow morning. Like how we do our breakfast before Friday home games, we wanted to make all of you breakfast."

"Aw that is so sweet," I gush. The hockey guys for a bunch of dumb jocks are the cutest fucking bunch ever. I can't believe my entire team once let something so stupid and petty keep us from being friends with them. Thankfully now our two teams are inseparable. "Give me the details and I will let my team know."

"Great, will Maya be back tomorrow?"

Another hit. I get into Ryder's car and sigh, "Yeah, she gets in late tonight."

"Sweet, hope she comes to breakfast tomorrow too."

"Yup, I am sure she will." I hear the bitterness in my own voice and feel bad. Maya is my best friend and if Ryder likes her I should be thrilled. He is one of the nicest people I know and she is one of the sweetest people I know, yet here I am making a list of reasons why they won't work. Why I get him and his schedule and everything he puts into hockey and why she never would. How she could never go to his games and talk about how he played after but I have been following hockey since I was a baby and could keep up.

The ride of the rink is quiet. I hate this jealous feeling. I have never felt this type of jealousy before, especially not about my friend and as guilty as I feel I can't shake it. Every time Ryder brings her up I feel like reminding him she doesn't watch hockey and she doesn't know how to skate and she won't even know what offsides means.

"Are you nervous?"

"About?"

"This weekend, this clinic, assassins? I don't know you're just really quiet today Beck. Where is my Beck?"

"Oh, yeah I am just nervous," I lie.

We both walk into the rink and Barb hugs me the second she sees me. "We are so grateful for you two and everyone else helping out tonight. You're all so sweet." She lets go of me and hugs Ryder who tenses and looks to me for help.

"Barb, why don't you help me set up the spot for the food and drinks Pickles donated while the guys set everything else up. The rest of the people should be here soon with everything else to set up."

Barb lets go of Ryder and he mouths a thank you before scurrying off. Barb helps me set up and the rest of the people helping tonight soon arrive. We set up tables with food and drinks and another with a raffle and one for people to sign in. We also set up games mostly for the kids off the ice and the hockey guys put a net on the ice.

I grab the cones and begin to set them up, splitting the ice in half so the hockey players and figure skaters can use it at the same time. "Feels familiar," Ryder says behind me before reaching out for some cones.

"Off the ice you're kind of ok, but on the ice I still think you're disgusting Carson."

As he sets down the last cone he pulls me toward him, my chest pressed against his. "Ditto butt."

I push off of him and he skates away making a point to stop short and spray ice, something he knows I hate because it ruins the ice and it serves no purpose but him being a show off. "Cute," Luna says, rolling her eyes at his antics. "Like a diseased animal."

"Lun be nice."

"I don't see why you spend all your time with him, he's so..."

"Great," I say watching him. Kids have started to show up including two young boys who are maybe about 8 years old. Ryder was quick to bring them on to the ice with their little hockey sticks and pass the puck with them.

"Gross." Luna skates away and I go over to greet a bunch of other little kids.

The event begins and it is going amazingly. Kids love Ryder and he is amazing with them. More little girls showed up for hockey than anticipated and he takes time for all of them. He admittedly doesn't know much about girls hockey but he tried to teach them all, never once suggesting that they should be with the figure skaters instead of the hockey players. I helped a bunch of kids too but I definitely find myself distracted more than once as Ryder's contagious laugh fills the rink.

As the session wraps up a little girl no older than 5 falls right on her butt. I skate over to her at the same time that Ryder does and he scoops her up into his arms just as I get to them. "It's ok sweetie, you're ok," he coos to the small girl who is clinging to him still sobbing. He holds her protectively and brings her off the ice to her parents. I turn to complete goo watching the guy who usually shys away from physical touch be so gentle.

More kids in the first half showed up than we even expected and the goal we set for the night is easily surpassed. "This is amazing," I whisper to Ryder as we count the money from the first half in the office while everyone else gets ready for the older crowd.

"I can't believe it worked."

"You did this Ry," I remind him as I finish counting and reach over to hug him. He hugs me back tightly, not at all tense or awkward like when Barb hugged him earlier. Moments like this give me a little flicker of hope that I know I shouldn't have.

"We did this. We are a team Beck. Fryder versus whatever life has to throw at us."

"Spoiler alert," I whisper burying my head into the side of his neck enjoying the closeness. "Fryder always wins."

"Yeah, we do."

We both finally release each other and join everyone again. The older group isn't as cute as the kids but it is fun. By the end of the night everyone is exhausted but beyond thrilled with the results. We nearly tripled what we wanted to make and even better, one family loved the event so much the dad, who does roofs for a living, offered to give Barb and Josh a discount to do the repairs. So to say the event was a success, would be an understatement.

"We are so grateful for you two, you deserve all of this and more," I tell Barb and Josh as Ryder hands them the big wad of money. Barb instantly bursts into tears as Josh just looks at it stunned.

"Thank you," they both tell us over and over again.

"No, thank you," Ryder says. "We owe you more than we can even explain and this is the least we could do."

"It means everything," Josh says, shaking Ryder's hand before giving me a hug. Josh knows Ryder is not one for affection.

We leave them to process everything about tonight. The money, the new clients, the way so many people volunteered to help them. It is overwhelming for me, I can't imagine how they are feeling at the moment.

"I know I should go home and sleep since we leave for competition tomorrow, but can we go sledding Ry? Just a few runs." Something about sledding the other day was so relaxing yet fun and after the whirlwind of emotions I've felt today I could use something to clear my head.

Ryder's face lights up so bright as he begins to speed walk to the car dragging me behind him. "Fuck yeah we can, Beck."

I laugh as he basically pushes me into the car and runs around to the drivers side. This is basically my last night of the most perfect spring break ever. Tomorrow and Saturday I will be in Ohio and Sunday night will be the day before classes begin again. I am not sure when I will get nights like this with Ryder again and my chest aches thinking about it. I have gotten used to spending all my time with him, and it is dangerous.

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Happy New Years everyone! Thank you everyone who has read and supported for helping me reach 20k reads! Ryder and Fran are super special to me and it's awesome to have so many people who love them just as much as I do! Also I will be away until next Friday so while I'll still be posting I probably won't be answering comments but I will reply to them as soon as I'm home! Have a happy and safe 2022❤️