"I am just still hungover," I tell my roommates as I sit on the couch wrapped in my comforter while sipping on the tea Luna made me.

"You're still hungover on Tuesday? From Saturday's party? And instead of getting better your hangover just keeps getting worse?"

"Yes?"

Luna shakes her head at me as she feels my head again like a concerned mom. "At least you don't have a fever. But I still wish you'd just skip class and practice today to rest."

"I'm not sick, Luna, it's a hangover."

"Is she still lying to herself?" Parker asks Luna, completely ignoring me.

"Yeah and she is refusing to skip practice today after class. She is so stubborn I want to just lock her in the apartment until she rests and takes care of herself."

"She is right here," I yell at both of them, waving one of my arms. They look at me and then move away and continue to whisper, obviously talking about me.

I don't get why they're all being so dramatic, I am fine. Yeah I am tired and have a little bit of a cough and some body aches and chills and just a touch of nausea, that I would not dare tell my roommates about, but I am fine and will just push through. The next competition is in less than two weeks which means I don't have time to lay around for days. As long as I am not throwing up than there is really no reason not to go to class and practice.

"If you two are done gossiping about me I am going to get ready for class."

"Stubborn," Luna calls after me as I shuffle my way toward my room still wrapped in my comforter.

"Stubborn isn't a bad thing," I mumble Ryder's words from this weekend under my breath as I put on the warmest outfit I can find. I will probably sweat my ass off at practice later but right now I am so cold I don't care. Sweating sounds amazing compared to the chill I feel in my bones right now.

When I am finally bundled up the best I can I grab my backpack and skates and meet Luna and Parker in the living room to walk to class together. Their earlier classes was canceled so my relaxing morning turned into my two roommates hovering over me bitching that I am not taking care of myself.

"This is ridiculous," Parker bitches more as he takes my skating bag from me.

"Not ridiculous," I argue back. I wish my roommates were more like Ryder sometimes. I bet if he was here he'd not scold me like a child. He would totally understand why I am pushing through. Big dreams require sacrifices. Maybe if I just wanted to be average I could miss a few practices for things like this but I don't want to just be average.

The walk to class seems longer than usual and Luna has to basically drag me part of the way while Parker carries all of my stuff. When we finally get to our seats I am shivering so hard that Luna and Parker cover me with their jackets to try to warm me up.

"Holy shit, why is she here?" Maya completely ignores my shivering self and climbs over me to sit between Luna and Parker addressing her question to them.

"Are you even shocked, Maya?"

"She is more delusional than you and you fraternize with that hockey player."

"Oh my god Parker, just because you hate Bray doesn't mean they're all that bad. As I will have you know, Pman and I are going out for lunch Thursday before he leaves for his away game. I am pretty sure he is finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend."

"About fucking time Maya. You two have been hooking up for over a month now."

"Luna don't give me shit, you and Tristian started skating together as literal kids and didn't start dating until you were like 17."

Luna and Maya begin to argue and of course Parker can't resist inserting himself into the debate to remind everyone how much he hates Bray and therefore all hockey players. The tension between Bray and Parker once again boiled over this weekend. Apparently while I was busy trying to get Ryder back on the dance floor Bray basically cock blocked Parker who did not take it very kindly. I mean I am not totally mad at Bray for it because Parker hooking up with his toxic ex would have been a disaster so he kind of saved the day, but I can't tell Parker that. Either way I just wish they could at least be civil around each other but Bray really knows how to push Parker and Parker just seems to have no patience for Bray at all.

I spend class attempting to take notes between coughing and shivering. Half way through class Luna closes my laptop and tells me she will send me the notes later today and I decided to just lean my head on her shoulder and listen the best I can. I don't absorb much but I am not too concerned because our test is a take home test and the 4 of us all do it together anyways, so what I missed I am sure at least one roommate will know.

"Skip practice and come with me to get soup Fran." Maya is holding my bag captive at the end of class so I can't leave.

"Maya I am going to be late, please." I pull the bag from her hands and she follows after me. "Maya I am fine, go eat lunch I will see you tonight at home. It is just a little cold."

"Least you finally admit it is a cold and not a hangover." Maya gives me a tight hug as we reach the spot where we split. "If you need anything, call me. Love you Fran, see you tonight."

"Love you Maya."

I continue the walk to the rink slower than usual and by the time I finally see it coming into view I am already 10 minutes late. This is rare for me because usually I am early to our ice time so me and Ryder can talk before we both get into our serious practice mode. With how shitty I am feeling today I could really use our pre practice jokes but whatever I just need to keep pushing.

As I near the front doors Ryder walks out typing on his phone. "Hey, why aren't you practicing?"

"Hey," he looks up startled. "Oh I just... you aren't usually late. I just wanted to make sure you were good." Was Ryder out here to look for me? Was he worried about me?

"Oh, yeah class ran over." My stomach lurches as I lie to Ryder, I don't like lying to him especially when he was sitting here worried about where I was.

"Well glad you made it Beck. We've both got big weekends coming up so there is no time to waste." Ryder walks inside, quickly puts his skates on and hops onto the ice and begins practicing while I slowly put my skates on. My body feels stiff as I try to bend down to lace up my skates. By the time I step on the ice I have already wasted the first 15 minutes of ice time.

I put my music on and begin to warm up. I can barely grab my foot let alone pull my leg up behind my back. Today might have to be a day where I just mark my routine instead of doing full outs.

I begin skating and water down my routine drastically. My spins are sloppy, my jumps are pathetic, and my skating is painfully slow. I try to push myself but staying on my feet is proving to be a challenge. Every time I try a jump or spin I seem to end up on the ice. My entire body was achy before but now just bending my fingers hurts. My entire body wants me to stop but pushing through is what separates the best from the rest.

"Fuck," I hiss as I hit the ice again. I am used to falling, shit when you start skating they literally teach you how to fall but this isn't like that. I am only 25 minutes into practice, barely even getting my feet off the ground for jumps and yet I feel like I just performed my entire routine 100 times. I can barely get onto all fours to try to crawl to the wall and drag myself up.

"Butt, do you need help?" Ryder is in front of me crouched down with a hand stretched out.

I take it and he all but pulls me up and places me carefully on my feet. "Sorry, I am fine I just must be in my own head or something."

"Or something sounds more like it. Beck, are you ok? You are shaking, are you cold?"

"Oh, yeah a little but if I skate more I will warm up." I nearly lose my tea from earlier while I stare him in the face and lie. I don't like lying in general but lying to someone like Ryder who I know has issues believing people cuts me to the core. Lying to him almost hurts more than the 20 falls I just took on the ice.

"Well here, until then." Ryder takes his hat off and holds it between his knees before pulling his sweater over his head. His shirt lifts a little with it and I take a peek at his rigid abs flexing as he removes the sweater. He fixes his shirt and puts his hat back on before handing me his sweater. "I am getting warm anyway."

I put the huge sweater on and pull the hood up over my head. The sweater is warm and smells good even though I know I am probably wearing Ryders nasty hockey sweat right now. I didn't plan to go to the doctor but I might want to go now and get tested, who knows what diseases hockey player sweat carries. "Thanks Ry," I tell him meekly.

"Course butt." He skates off and I brace myself for more painful falls. No pain, no gain, right?

I begin skating again and almost instantly a coughing fit mid jump has me slamming painfully to the ice. I am coughing so hard while laying on the cold ice I feel like I might cough up my lungs. While I am still coughing curled up into a small ball on the ice I feel someone pluck me up and place me in a sitting position. "That's it, you're done for the day."

"I am fine, it is just a little tickle. I need a drink of water."

There is a little flash of something in Ryder's eyes before he shakes his head fiercely. "No. Stop lying to me, Luna just texted me that you've been sick for days. Practicing if you're sick can be dangerous Beck, you need to know where to draw the line."

"And where is that line," I challenge, pushing him away so I can attempt to stand.

"When you're so sick you can barely skate," he says while grabbing onto me as my feet slide out from under me. "This is an injury waiting to happen. Enough Francesca."

I gulp at his stern tone and the use of my first name. Ryder never uses my first name so I know he is being serious right now. "I won't do any more jumps I just want to mark."

"No, we are going. Practice is over. I should have known something was wrong, you look like crap, but I didn't think you'd be so fucking stupid and risk getting seriously hurt."

"We still have 15 minutes," I argue even as the guilt chews at me. He is right but I refuse to admit it. Ryder doesn't reply as he lifts me up like a doll over his shoulder and skates to the exit. I want to fight back, kick and punch, and scream, you know the works, but I just can't. My body is basically running on empty and the body heat radiating off Ryder is the warmest I have felt in days. I should be attempting to break free and return to the ice but instead I am clinging to him.

Carefully he sets me down on the bench and kneels in front of me. "I am taking you home so you can rest."

"I want to practice," I whine as he unlaces my one skate.

Ryder looks at me and the anger he had a minute ago melts away to understanding. My roommates looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to practice but Ryder doesn't think I am crazy, not even a little bit. "I know, and during spring break we can practice extra to make up for it but for now rest is important. I know wanting to keep pushing seems like the right idea but putting too much strain on your body can be dangerous."

I nod and he unlaces my second skate and takes them both off. I reach for my boots but Ryder beats me to it and slips one on each foot. "Thank you," I mumble.

Ryder puts his own shoes on and grabs my bags while I bundle myself up in my jacket with his sweater still on. "Will you be ok for a moment?"

"Yeah." He looks me over for a second not fully trusting my answer but reluctantly sets my bags down and jogs off. I pull all my limbs into my oversized jacket while I wait trying to get my body to stop betraying me and shaking.

"Here." Ryder returns with a cup and hands it to me. It is clearly piping hot hot chocolate and the cup instantly warms my hands.

"Warm," I sigh as I take a baby sip. Ryder wraps an arm around my waist and slowly helps me to his car. The entire drive to my apartment he keeps looking at me like he wants to say something.

"Well," I say when we pull up to my apartment. Ryder still looks conflicted and I make no move to get out of the car as he wrestles with whatever is going on in his head.

"Do you like, need anything? I can come up if you need," Ryder rushes, adjusting his hat anxiously.

Did Ryder just offer to take care of me? I would never ask that of him but the offer is still so sweet. I know feelings and stuff are not really his thing unless it has to do with sports so it makes his offer extra special. "I am ok just going to take a warm shower and some DayQuil. Hopefully some rest and a good night's sleep and I will be ready to cheer on the best team in the NHL tomorrow night at the bar."

"Best team? Let's relax, I am not on the team yet."

"Ego," I laugh and finally get out of the car. Ryder waits for me to get into the building before driving off. I still feel like complete dog crap but Ryder's concern plus the warm sweater that smells like him has me feeling just a tiny bit better.